Trek XI Caption Contest #18: Won't Get Fooled Again

[Rat Boy]

*chirp* *chirp* *chirp* Is this thing on? No matter, because it's time for another caption contest. Sorry for the delay, so let's right down to recognizing...

For the picture of how Captain Robau became such a badass, our winner is...

Captain Robau; So, knowing the killbots would shut down after 10000 kills, I sent wave after wave of my own redshirts to the death, winning the battle.
All; You suck!
Kirk; Interesting...

For the picture that settles a long-standing debate, our winner is...

Spock: I think we struck a pedestrian, Jim.
Kirk: So it is a window...

Finally, the Photoshop winner:

Congratulations to our winners and here are our updated totals:

cooleddie74 - 5
Outpost4 - 5
Nerys Myk - 4
middyseafort - 4
Amasov - 3
Piper - 3
Herkimer Jitty - 3
SalvorHardin - 3
B.J. - 3
M'Sharak - 2
seigezunt - 2
Woulfe - 2
Kirby - 2
Civil Shadow - 2
Hartzilla2007 - 2
The Squire of Gothos - 2
26138 - 1
jptrekker - 1
Alpha_Geek - 1
Zachary_Smith - 1
Plum - 1
3 of 11 - 1
jongredic - 1
Super Grover - 1
Candlelight - 1
Gertch - 1
trampledamage - 1
T'Aerwynd - 1
shivkala - 1
Jackson_Roykirk - 1
The Badger - 1
Captain Zog - 1
BriGuy - 1
Skywalker - 1
J. Allen - 1
Classic Fan - 1
Alrik - 1
Lashmore - 1
Aragorn - 1
John Picard - 1
Samurai8472 - 1
Jimmy_C - 1
Cky - 1
S'kai - 1


Now then, this week I want to try something a little different. We're a little over a month (unless you're in Australia) away from the premiere of what's been promised to be the best Star Trek film in a decade, so to commemorate the forthcoming occassion, I thought it would be best to honor the last best Star Trek film of the past ten years. Sure, this might be better suited for the Movies Caption Contest, but I figured today of all days, what the hell. I believe the following needs no explanation, so I'll let you all at it:

By the way, April Fool's.

 

[cubbie]

Sigourney Weaver struggles to stop Sam Rockwell from taking liberties during the filming.

 

[Classic Fan]

After nearly a year and a half of speculation, waiting, praying, wishing, doodling in their workbooks, scratchbuilding, following false links, getting emailed fake images, still wishing, still doodling and ... ... hoping. The new NSEA Protector design is revealed to the world.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Sir Alex Dane: "Live Long and Prosper"? That's the other guy, you little cumstain.

The future's so bright... I gotta wear shades...

The original cast of Galaxy Quest meets their replacements in J.J. Abrams' big-budgeted feature film version of the classic series.

 

[Rat Boy]

Fan: "Do it!"

Rickman: "*sigh* Fine.

*German accent*

"Yippee-ki-yay...mutherfucka."

Allen: "Actually, I don't need the work. The residuals from Home Improvement and the Santa Clause movies paid off my mortgage."

Helm Laredo: "Is this is a stand-up fight or a bug hunt?"

 

[cubbie]

Fans that were horrified by the plumbing in the new Trek movie needed to be reminded that older "trek" movies had ropes and pulleys.

What's worse, rock monsters or aliens up the a$$?

 

[cooleddie74]

"There a sink on this ship? I need to wash my hands.

About 40 times."

 

[cooleddie74]

"You were one of the seven people who PAID to see DOGMA in a movie theater?

Looks like I owe Kevin a hundred bucks."

"Your species got any blow?

I haven't gotten ripped on uncut flake in YEARS."

 

[Classic Fan]

Random Fan: "Yippeee - Kai - Yay, Motherfucker."
Alan: "Finally, a fan who visits the set of Galaxy Quest that isnt a Trekkie who thinks this is a new Trek movie."

 

[cooleddie74]

"By Grabthar's Hammer...

Where were you fellows when I was craving gay sex back in the 80s?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Thermian (thinking): Strange. I do not recall the commander not wearing any pants in the historical documents.

 

[Aragorn]

"A self-absorbed leading man whose ego is so big he doesn't realize what a joke he's become in all his years of stepping over the little people and making a fool out of himself in other roles? No, I didn't know there was anyone in Star Trek who was like that to base my part on. Patrick Stewart?"

 

[cooleddie74]

"And now on TOOL TIME we're going to construct a TV space show set out of nothing but plywood, cardboard and styrofoam with a few blinky Christmas lights thrown in for good measure!"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Thermian: Mmmm... Commander, the short-term sexual therapists are on board as you requested. Mmm... as is the enhanced performance narcotic.

 

[ST-One]

Rickman: Bloody hell, I worked with the RSC and now this. Next thing they will ask me to work on the film adaption of the books of that Rowling-woman.

 

[Rat Boy]

Guy who played Dr. Lazarus: "Four bloody hours in the make-up chair for this?"

 

[Woulfe]

Star Trip : XI won't get fooled again.... Too late....

Alan : In order to be in Star Trek XI you have to first sign this paper....
This paper lets you able to read the 346,512 page NDA J.J. Abrams wrote on one weekend at one of these Star Trek conventions....

Fan : So he's a closet Trekker ?

Alan : Yes....

Tim : I.... Think.... To.... Play.... The.... Part.... Of.... Kirk.... One.... Must....

J.J : I'm sorry Mr. Allan but I think we'll go with someone else to play Kirk.

Actual Footage Of Fans Reaction To The New Enterprise From Star Trek XI

Fans : WTF !?!?

 

[Alrik]

Alan : "You're kidding me right? The Captain is to wear assless chaps?"

Tim: "So, what'd ya think? Like 'em? Alan just gave 'em to me."

Sigourney: "My gawd Tim! The assless chaps are a running joke at The TBBS. For cryin' out loud, cover that thing up!"

 

[Rat Boy]

You'd be this smug too if Pamela Anderson owed her career to you.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

J.J. Abrams (off-camera): Um, Tim, I'm sorry but we want to go younger for the new Trek. And you, weirdo in the back, Spock's been cast... thanks.