Nardpuncher
Rear Admiral
At my school we were told that there will be a fire drill on Friday...my coworker asked " A real one?"
People are morons.
- Thread starter Ben Sisko3
- Start date
I get asked at least a couple of times a year if our pork is kosher.
i usually get at least a few twerps a month when asked which network their mobile is, replying 'Nokia' or whatever.
What can be more life-affirming, than the transcendence of death? I think the schoolgirl understands that music better than you.
It's getting harder to describe sailors to the underfed.
I prefer 'stupid twats.'
Here's an example of something seen not heard: today I was driving, in the hard rain, and here it's illegal to drive in the rain (with your wipers on) without lights. Personally, it even defies common sense not to run with lights on where there's impaired visibility of any kind, in this case with spray coming off the pavement.
And yet I'd say 40% of the cars I saw were doing it - no lights.
"That's not beer, it's lager!"
I love it! 
As for the giving-up-meat-for-Lent-but-eating-fish: I'm not sure what the rules are, but I've always been told that fish doesn't count as meat. When people are asked to give up meat, it usually means red meat and poultry.
Don't get me wrong. When I hear a Doors song on the radio now, I can be surprised by how 'modern' it sounds, when in fact it's nearly 40 years old. That doesn't hide the faults I find in them, just as I do with many other bands, to a greater or lesser degree.
His lyrics didn't transcend death, they were about dying. He didn't transcend death either. He just died. And spin and propaganda from his record company and music magazines kept his Lizard King persona in place for years, maybe decades. The hype of cool really irritates me. Don't fall for it.
One example of people in general being morons comes from this gal whom I overheard at the post office a few months back. You see, she had traveled there from another zip code to file her change of address form. The lady at the desk had to explain to this idiot at least three times that the post office to whom she needed to give that form has to be the one that actually handles her mail. She couldn't just give it to any office across the nation and expect it to work. Even after the Nth time the customer had this explained to her, she still didn't get it and ultimately left with pretty much zero understanding of what was going on.
Another ongoing example would be the president of a student club in my college. In this club, I serve as Vice-president. She's a nice gal, but the brutal truth of the matter is that she's an idiot. With her, critical thinking and comprehension is a tenuous thing at the best of times. Her grasp on English is just surreal...in a bad way. No, it's surreal more like in a horrific way. The e-mails she writes are borderline unreadable. She admits she hates reading and it shows. My god, does it show with every word she attempts to write and most of the things she attempts to say. The punchline is that she's gunning to be, you guessed it, a teacher! Wonderful...
Another ongoing example would be the president of a student club in my college. In this club, I serve as Vice-president. She's a nice gal, but the brutal truth of the matter is that she's an idiot. With her, critical thinking and comprehension is a tenuous thing at the best of times. Her grasp on English is just surreal...in a bad way. No, it's surreal more like in a horrific way. The e-mails she writes are borderline unreadable. She admits she hates reading and it shows. My god, does it show with every word she attempts to write and most of the things she attempts to say. The punchline is that she's gunning to be, you guessed it, a teacher! Wonderful...
Here's a good one courtesy of FARK...
http://www.14wfie.com/global/story.asp?s=10010918
This guy deserves both a Darwin Award and a Red Forman 'Dumbass' Award for his utter failure at burglary and escape.
http://www.14wfie.com/global/story.asp?s=10010918
This guy deserves both a Darwin Award and a Red Forman 'Dumbass' Award for his utter failure at burglary and escape.
Sorry, but this is unbelievably funny......
"That's not beer, it's lager!"
Suddenly wonders about some of the people in Phoenix....
Where did you hear that one?
Sorry, but this is unbelievably funny......
"That's not beer, it's lager!"
Suddenly wonders about some of the people in Phoenix....
Where did you hear that one?
Here on TBBS. From a British poster who's name will not be mentioned since I don't want to be accused of trolling/flaming.
Three of my all-time favorites from living in the DC area:
1. At the Vietnam Memorial, a guy in his 20's is taping with a camcorder and narrating to himself, saying things along the lines of, "Here I am at the Vietnam Memorial. It's a very moving experience," stuff like that. He turned towards the Washington Monument, paused, and pointing towards the monument, asked a couple of women standing next to him, "Excuse me, what's that?" "I don't know. We just got here," one of them responded.
2. Someone told his kid the statue of Grant in front of the west lawn of the Capitol was Robert E. Lee.
3. When she was a congressional staffer, my wife would often give Capitol tours to high-brow constituents who you would otherwise think were intelligent. About every other tour, she'd have to explain to someone that the oval office is not in the Capitol.
1. At the Vietnam Memorial, a guy in his 20's is taping with a camcorder and narrating to himself, saying things along the lines of, "Here I am at the Vietnam Memorial. It's a very moving experience," stuff like that. He turned towards the Washington Monument, paused, and pointing towards the monument, asked a couple of women standing next to him, "Excuse me, what's that?" "I don't know. We just got here," one of them responded.
2. Someone told his kid the statue of Grant in front of the west lawn of the Capitol was Robert E. Lee.
3. When she was a congressional staffer, my wife would often give Capitol tours to high-brow constituents who you would otherwise think were intelligent. About every other tour, she'd have to explain to someone that the oval office is not in the Capitol.
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Sorry, but this is unbelievably funny......
"That's not beer, it's lager!"
Suddenly wonders about some of the people in Phoenix....
Where did you hear that one?
Here on TBBS. From a British poster who's name will not be mentioned since I don't want to be accused of trolling/flaming.
In all fairness, a lager is a *type* of beer.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lager
Lager, ale, pilsner, alt, barleywine, porter, and stout are all types of beer, and I've barely scratched the surface
^ I agree. Although 'beer' can be an all encompassing name, it is usually assumed that in Britain 'beer' implies a 'bitter' and lager is very different.
As an ex-publican if someone asked for a 'pint of beer' you would need further clarification asto their wanted tipple.
As an ex-publican if someone asked for a 'pint of beer' you would need further clarification asto their wanted tipple.
You know, Bombay Duck is a type of fish.Holds hand up for being a 'moron' having asked my son whilst choosing food for Squeak the Cat, 'is a duck a fish'
You know when people say they think things through before talking, I could learn from that
You know, Bombay Duck is a type of fish.Holds hand up for being a 'moron' having asked my son whilst choosing food for Squeak the Cat, 'is a duck a fish'
You know when people say they think things through before talking, I could learn from that
Thank you Zee!That must have been stuck in my mind
I could see where you're coming from, though, in a sort-of David Attenborough, roundabout, duck-billed platitudes sort of way. If that makes any sense.You know, Bombay Duck is a type of fish.Holds hand up for being a 'moron' having asked my son whilst choosing food for Squeak the Cat, 'is a duck a fish'
You know when people say they think things through before talking, I could learn from that
Thank you Zee!That must have been stuck in my mind
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