TOS Caption Contest #122 - Into the Arena

[cooleddie74]

MR. LESLIE: "Hey...Scotty...can ya move over just a little?

I can't see his ass!"

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Kirk; Of course, my original plan was to beam down crew members until the Gorn were full, then phaser them when they were too bloated to respond. What?

 

[Rat Boy]

Gorn: "Get off my lawn!"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: I'm into green, but not the kinky stuff. My helmsman on the other hand...


Several minutes later...

Kirk: ... and that's how I defeated the Gorn. Oh, and Mr. Sulu, you'll be transferring over to their ship as the Captain's personal... um... bitch.
Sulu: Oh, my!

 

[cooleddie74]

GORN:"What isssssssss the airsssspeed velocccity of an unladen SSSSSSWALLOW?"

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"...and that, my friends, is how I defeated the Vagina Creature of the Labia Major Nebula and saved the people of the Vas Deferens Planetoid from certain doom."

 

[scottydog]

Actor inside rubber suit: "You have no idea how much it sucks wearing this costume."

Shatner: "Hey, I've worn a rubber many times."

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"I, uh...

I had already paid for these rocks.

Inside the store."

 

[Alrik]

Kirk:"This one time.......at band camp...."

 

[Alrik]

Kirk:"This one time.......at band camp...."

Sulu:"mmm. I know just where he's going with that."

 

[cooleddie74]

"...and there was this one time at the Academy when Finnegan Krazy-Glued my scrotum to the inside of my thigh..."

 

[M'Sharak]

"Haven't I seen you before? You were in the last Gwar show, weren't you?"
"Sssssssss... "
"No, wait ... starts with 'S' ... Stormtroopers of Death?"
"That'sssssss not it... "
"Damn! Give me one more guess?"

 

[Alrik]

Director:"Simon says......place a hand on a piece of the set. Oh sorry De, looks like you're out."

 

[cooleddie74]

Kirk always wanted to die underneath someone in a tinfoil bikini.

But this was TOTALLY not what he had in mind.

 

[cooleddie74]

MR. LESLIE:"Tell us more stories about the Giant Space Clitoris, Uncle Jim!"

 

[cooleddie74]

NAVIGATOR:"For the last time, sir...

I am not Christopher Pike!

Can we get on with your story now?!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Gorn: "WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?!"

Shatner: "Gene Roddenberry, the same as you."

 

[cooleddie74]

GORN:"That GEICO lizard.

Where isssssss he.

NOW."

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"I sat in some chewing gum...

didn't I?

Dammit."

 

[26138]

Ensign Ricky learned the hard way that even though it was the 23rd century, peeing on an electric fence still hurt... a lot.