I Don’t Watch This Episode Until…

[johnnybear]

One Lazarus was mentally ill and the other one wasn't. One Lazarus went up a hill and fell off, two Lazurus's went up a hill and fell off, but which one was it and if you're watching the BBC edit you'll never know!!!!
JB

 

[Ssosmcin]

Nothing could save "The Alternative Factor." You'd have to cut it down to the titles. The "story," such as it is, is based on Lost in Space quality science—where the evil twin has to meet his good counterpart to cause a matter-antimatter annihilation, yet each is perfectly fine walking about in an alternate universe. And there's not a single line of dialog in the entire episode that makes any sense. Couple that with all the "mystery" and melodrama, and you have a total bust of an episode.

I'm funny about 60's sci-fi shows. I will buy the most preposterous story as long as it's presented earnestly and with a straight face. So you'll see me sit through Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea's most idiotic episodes because Irwin Allen demanded the cast take it with deadly seriousness. Lost in Space is a show I will watch when the episodes do the same thing - I have zero patience with the comedy episodes (which means I like about a third of the episodes overall).

Star Trek is the same thing. I will watch The Alternative Factor, Plato's Stepchildren, Spock's Brain, hell even And the Children Shall lead a dozen times before I suffer through I, Mudd or A Piece of the Action again because the premise's of the others are played totally straight. As ridiculous as the individual episodes might be, for the CHARACTERS, it's life or death. For the actors, it's serious business. And they sell it. So I buy it.

For that reason, I will always enjoy The Alternative Factor. It's when Star Trek becomes amused with itself that I tune out.

 

[ZapBrannigan]

Star Trek is the same thing. I will watch The Alternative Factor, Plato's Stepchildren, Spock's Brain, hell even And the Children Shall lead a dozen times before I suffer through I, Mudd or A Piece of the Action again because the premise's of the others are played totally straight.

You don't like "A Piece of the Action"?

You're liable to be sorry unless you come across!

 

[Metryq]

I will buy the most preposterous story as long as it's presented earnestly and with a straight face.

That's why Shatner works in the role, while Hunter did not. Hunter was too damn serious and grim. But Shatner is a natural with comedy, despite your professed distaste for it. That is, Shatner could look you in the eye and deliver the most outlandish situations with a straight face. But I'd feel there was some reserve inside saying, "He's laughing at us. He's about to break into a grin and tell us not to take it so seriously." But he wouldn't crack a smile. He'd deliver it as serious drama. That "something" behind the facade is "lampshade hanging."

Lampshade Hanging - TV Tropes

Lampshade Hanging (or, more informally, "Lampshading") is the writers' trick of dealing with any element of the story that seems too dubious to take at face value, whether a very implausible plot development or a particularly blatant use of a …

tvtropes.org

I love "A Piece of the Action," while I can't stand "The Trouble With Tribbles." Both are comedy episodes. But as noted above, "Action" has serious allegory behind it. The comedy makes it easier to tell the parable in a short time, and in an entertaining way. (Look up "cargo cults") But "Tribbles" is just silly. You could squeeze blood from a stone before convincing me it is allegorical about invasive species, or some other angle. "I, Mudd" skirts the threshold, but I agree it falls more in the "just silly" territory than allegory. I enjoy it because I like Roger Carmel.

 

[SatrianiRules]

I don't think Tribbles is allegory, just a light-hearted fun episode...mainly because there was no mortal threat in the episode.

 

[Henoch]

"Whom Gods Destroy." (And actually, I never really understood why the BBC banned that one—was it the rather stark portrayal of mental illness?)

I thought it was because of Marta go boom. Poor Marta. Maybe it could be the "torture" of Dr. Cory.

 

[Ssosmcin]

You don't like "A Piece of the Action"?

You're liable to be sorry unless you come across!

Is this the first post of mine you're read? I've gone on at length at how much I dislike the full frontal comedy episodes. Other than Tribbles, which at least keeps the humor mostly character based and not reliant on absurdity.

 

[Ssosmcin]

But Shatner is a natural with comedy, despite your professed distaste for it.

I agree, and I didn't say I had a distaste for comedy. I just don't like Star Trek's full out comedy episodes. Shatner could frequently make me laugh in Star Trek, when he's not pushing for them. He's great in Tomorrow Is Yesterday. He gives just the right amount of exasperation. He's charming in Shore Leave. He has great asides in The Omega Glory, Mudd's Women and The Man Trap. I have nothing against humor in Star Trek. I just don't enjoy it when the episode is devoted to it and leans into the absurdity. Personally, I prefer The Trouble With Tribbles, because Shatner and company are in character the whole time. Kirk's frustration builds throughout and he's merciless with Baris. That's the kind of humor I like. Yes, the giant tribble pile is silly and never does much for me, but Bones running in with the "stopped feeding them" line is uproarious because it's so badly timed. It's not a life or death episode, it's just a hour of watching Kirk get frustrated. And Shatner is great. I don't need Star Trek to have a big message every week. I never watch it for that reason anyway.

Bread and Circuses is also terrific with the satire, I consider it one of Trek's best comedies and sharpest commentary because Roddenberry knew the subject well. And everyone is on point, delivering the jabs with just the right touch.

But APOTA with the "all right youz mugs" never does anything for me (aside from Nimoy's amazing "I'd advise yas ta keep dialiin' Oxmyx") and the Fizzbin was funny when I was a kid, but less so now.

I, Mudd is just a chore. The music is awful and everyone is aiming for the cheap seats.

 

[Metryq]

He's great in Tomorrow Is Yesterday.

One of his best comments in that episode is when the Air Policeman is beamed up. He doesn't say a word, just lightly slaps his thigh, and the look on his face is, "Great!"

Again, lots of memorable bits here and there throughout the episode. But like far too many time travel stories, it invokes paradoxes. No one has ever time traveled, so we must base our stories on cause-and-effect logic. Without that, it is fantasy, not "science" fiction. You can't pull a Ben Finney with the real world and change what happens. That doesn't make the episode unwatchable, but it does defuse the plot.

 

[Phaser Two]

I thought it was because of Marta go boom. Poor Marta. Maybe it could be the "torture" of Dr. Cory.

Right, good call. It was probably both, combined with the overall subject matter and tone. It's a daaaaaark episode, despite the upbeat ending—well, for everyone but Marta.

 

[Phaser Two]

One of his best comments in that episode is when the Air Policeman is beamed up. He doesn't say a word, just lightly slaps his thigh, and the look on his face is, "Great!"

Again, lots of memorable bits here and there throughout the episode. But like far too many time travel stories, it invokes paradoxes. No one has ever time traveled, so we must base our stories on cause-and-effect logic. Without that, it is fantasy, not "science" fiction. You can't pull a Ben Finney with the real world and change what happens. That doesn't make the episode unwatchable, but it does defuse the plot.

Sorry for the two consecutive posts, but I heartily agree with the above. Shatner is terrifically funny in "Tomorrow Is Yesterday." My favorite moment comes when he squeezes his eyes shut as Fellini tosses the phaser.

Okay, so I watched "The Alternative Factor" last night to see if it could be improved.

Uh . . . well, there are some good moments where the show comes off like a Doctor Who episode with the shoestring Lazarusmobile and the existential dread of universal destruction along with the (unneeded?) time-travel mention. Plus, the dialogue lays the groundwork for "Mirror, Mirror" to some extent, which is of course good. Commodore Barstow is suitably earnest. I like Leslie at the helm (and in the captain's chair—nice!) and the unnamed goldgreenshirt LCDR at navigation. And anytime the Enterprise fires its phasers is awesome.

But could it have been improved? Not without massive rewrites, and I mean massive. The premise isn't bad, but the dialogue is perhaps the worst of any TOS ep. Just Kirk and Spock talking in circles, in jarring leaps between the bridge and the briefing room, while McCoy comes off as a complete dope. And of course Lazarus' lines are quite the jumble, at least until Good Lazarus reads Kirk in after Kirk makes his unexpected jump. (Brown was pretty good given how little time he had to prepare, honestly.) Then there are all the ridiculous scenes of Lazarus, Kirk, Spock, and the guards being blown all over Vasquez Rocks by something or other, and the scenes of the battle between the photo-negative Lazari are soooo badly executed. TOS-R didn't even try any serious remedial measures. Oh, and we are also treated to the worst shipboard security in the entire series, which is really saying something. Finally, Engineering is moved to some sort of redress of the medical lab or the briefing room and—while I liked the double-miscostumed Masters and her assistant—Scotty was missed.

So . . . nope as to any easy improvements. There's no such thing as a bad TOS episode, really, but this one sure made a heroic effort.

 

[Spock's Barber]

Sorry for the two consecutive posts, but I heartily agree with the above. Shatner is terrifically funny in "Tomorrow Is Yesterday." My favorite moment comes when he squeezes his eyes shut as Fellini tosses the phaser.

Okay, so I watched "The Alternative Factor" last night to see if it could be improved.

Uh . . . well, there are some good moments where the show comes off like a Doctor Who episode with the shoestring Lazarusmobile and the existential dread of universal destruction along with the (unneeded?) time-travel mention. Plus, the dialogue lays the groundwork for "Mirror, Mirror" to some extent, which is of course good. Commodore Barstow is suitably earnest. I like Leslie at the helm (and in the captain's chair—nice!) and the unnamed goldgreenshirt LCDR at navigation. And anytime the Enterprise fires its phasers is awesome.

But could it have been improved? Not without massive rewrites, and I mean massive. The premise isn't bad, but the dialogue is perhaps the worst of any TOS ep. Just Kirk and Spock talking in circles, in jarring leaps between the bridge and the briefing room, while McCoy comes off as a complete dope. And of course Lazarus' lines are quite the jumble, at least until Good Lazarus reads Kirk in after Kirk makes his unexpected jump. (Brown was pretty good given how little time he had to prepare, honestly.) Then there are all the ridiculous scenes of Lazarus, Kirk, Spock, and the guards being blown all over Vasquez Rocks by something or other, and the scenes of the battle between the photo-negative Lazari are soooo badly executed. TOS-R didn't even try any serious remedial measures. Oh, and we are also treated to the worst shipboard security in the entire series, which is really saying something. Finally, Engineering is moved to some sort of redress of the medical lab or the briefing room and—while I liked the double-miscostumed Masters and her assistant—Scotty was missed.

So . . . nope as to any easy improvements. There's no such thing as a bad TOS episode, really, but this one sure made a heroic effort.

Maybe the episode’s director, Gerd Oswald, was trapped in The Corridor and that’s why he never directed another TOS episode.

 

[Metryq]

There's no such thing as a bad TOS episode, really, but this one sure made a heroic effort.

Excellent write-up, Phaser Two! But I would say that the premise is the key item that needs to be "fixed" for this episode to work. The concept of antimatter dates back to the 1880s, with the modern version dating to a Dirac paper in 1928. The first I heard of it in my armchair physics reading was the idea that the Big Bang created a universe with half-and-half kinds of matter, where entire galaxies might be "CT" (contra-terrene, another term I picked up from sci-fi). And you wouldn't know about it until you got there and discovered there was no place to park the Yamato. Today, we've observed antimatter being created in terrestrial lightning storms, which makes it seem a whole lot less exotic.

James P. Hogan wrote up some interesting wrinkles on the quantum multiverse idea in Paths to Otherwhere. But that does not address antimatter. The movie The Philadelphia Experiment (1984) sets up a "wormhole" across time that is closer to what I think the writers of "The Alternative Factor" were intending—it even comes close to the "Lazarus trapped in the Phantom Zone forever" idea, although David manages to throw the switch and still get out in time. Then there's the little button, "no bigger than your fingernail" invented by Gazoo, that would destroy the universe when pressed. (He never intended to use it, but was sentenced back to the Flintstone Age to keep Fred and Barney company.)

Nope. "Alternative Factor" was a lot of melodrama in dire wolf need of a premise.

 

[Just a Bill]

What makes The Alternative Factor the hands-down, very worst Trek episode for me is the combination of a lazy, self-indulgent, unbelievable premise, a schizophrenic plot that nobody in six decades has been able to follow, and the requirement that our heroes must be morons for the Lazari to do what they do and for the final tragedy to take place.

The premise is not unique to Trek, but it is kind of uniquely ludicrous. If you touch another version of yourself from another universe you will die, or things near you will be destroyed, or the universe will end. Really? How does the local universe, or the multiverse, know that two objects are counterparts of each other? Lazarus' body is not one single thing with a unique ID that's registered in some kind of multicosmic database; it's a collection of gazillions of cells that have been getting added to, removed from, and changed in, that body for its entire life. How many cells have to match? If the tipmost cell in my left ring finger was made from a baked potato in one universe and a Wendy's double in another, are they the same cell? How does the universe know? What about the components within those cells? How many atoms have to be the "same" from both universes? How many sub-atomic particles? There's literally no possible mechanism to enforce this mutual destruction other than "bad writing magic."

And if there was a mechanism for this, how risky would it be to deliberately bring matter and anti-matter into collision with each other to propel starships? Wouldn't you have to make sure that no two corresponding particles were ever present in the plus and minus deuterium storage tanks (or whatever) of any starship anywhere? How would you even do that? How many starships in how many universes mysteriously blew those universes to smithereens in this way before the events of this episode taught us how easy it is to utterly destroy two universes?

The premise kinda sorta sounds plausible unless you think about it for a minute or two. Now I suppose if we can forgive the insane magic of transporters, we can forgive this nonsense too. But ...

The much worse problem with the episode is how stupid the crew is at every turn. It all culminates with two men being consigned to an existential hell inside a spinning newspaper for the rest of all eternity because Spock forgot he can put people to sleep with his fingertips. He was standing there on the planet, literally right behind an antagonist who was grappling with Kirk, and the finest first officer in the fleet did nothing? Literally, all he had to do was neck-pinch the "bad" Lazarus and then that one could have been tossed into the magnetic corridor — alone — and his bubbleship then vaporized to lock it forever, or he could have been humanely euthanized for the welfare of two entire universes, or he could have been mindwiped at Elba II like Captain Garth, and the "good" Lazarus could then have lived out his kind, gentle life in peace, with plenty of free time to see a barber about that horrible beard.

Now, with that being said ranted, every episode does indeed offer something of value, and this one is no exception. I do enjoy

• Charlene Masters' character;
• seeing how dilithium is stored, monitored, and recharged (a new area of the ship shown!);
• the Vasquez Rocks footage with recurring extras Billy Blackburn, Ron Veto, Tom Lupo, and one of the Caliente brothers (sorry I forget which); and
• close-ups of a not-too-common curved-corridor redress that puts extra red hex-mesh panels where the outer wall of the sickbay complex normally is.

But otherwise, this is the worst by a good margin. It hurt me in places the space-hippies and brainless Spock never even thought of touching. I could show you where on the doll if it wasn't still a fresh trauma.

 

[johnnybear]

Nothing is more embarrassing than I, Mudd!!! Especially when you're watching with people, family who are only casually interested!!! The ending is too damn weird to and cringe worthy to look someone in the eye afterwards and yet the Alternative Factor, Children Shall Lead get all the trouble!!!!
JB

 

[Metryq]

Especially when you're watching with people, family who are only casually interested!!!

Why would you show a Turkey Trek episode to family and friends who are only causally interested?

 

[Moopsy]

Nothing is more embarrassing than I, Mudd!!!

I've always loved "I, Mudd"; IMHO it's almost as funny as "The Trouble with Tribbles". As for "The Alternative Factor", it is next on my TOS rewatch list--unfortunately.

 

[Rowdy Roddy McDowall]

Why would you show a Turkey Trek episode to family and friends who are only causally interested?

Because even the worst of TREK has redeeming moments.........and some enjoy ham with their turkey.

 

[Phaser Two]

Excellent write-up, Phaser Two! But I would say that the premise is the key item that needs to be "fixed" for this episode to work. The concept of antimatter dates back to the 1880s, with the modern version dating to a Dirac paper in 1928. The first I heard of it in my armchair physics reading was the idea that the Big Bang created a universe with half-and-half kinds of matter, where entire galaxies might be "CT" (contra-terrene, another term I picked up from sci-fi).

Thanks! I enjoyed writing it.

Yeah, you're right about the physics. In my sci-fi reading days as a kid, inspired by TOS, I tended to concentrate on the stuff that involved, let's say, moral or humanistic issues rather than hard science—so more of the Heinlein/Clarke/Asimov/Bradbury/Burroughs/Wells pantheon that was "soft" sci-fi (rather than say Verne or anything from the aforementioned authors that wasn't). I even read back to Mary Shelley and Poe. THEN I started higher education, and a conflict was created because now I sort of knew better than some of this stuff, but I still kept things separate, because for me, if I try to explain everything away that's happening on screen, it just sort of makes my head hurt and ruins the fun to some extent.

BUT you have a great point. I think they were going for vacuum theory here, maybe? It's bad. When I said the premise was decent or whatever I claimed above, I meant that the E suddenly getting caught up right at ground zero of such a significant phenomenon was interesting. But the execution was horrible and, well, they did the same "crew in the center of a mindbending, all-important event" the very next ep by airdate, with juuuuuust slightly better results.

The premise is not unique to Trek, but it is kind of uniquely ludicrous. If you touch another version of yourself from another universe you will die, or things near you will be destroyed, or the universe will end. Really? How does the local universe, or the multiverse, know that two objects are counterparts of each other? Lazarus' body is not one single thing with a unique ID that's registered in some kind of multicosmic database; it's a collection of gazillions of cells that have been getting added to, removed from, and changed in, that body for its entire life. How many cells have to match? If the tipmost cell in my left ring finger was made from a baked potato in one universe and a Wendy's double in another, are they the same cell? How does the universe know? What about the components within those cells? How many atoms have to be the "same" from both universes? How many sub-atomic particles? There's literally no possible mechanism to enforce this mutual destruction other than "bad writing magic."

And if there was a mechanism for this, how risky would it be to deliberately bring matter and anti-matter into collision with each other to propel starships?

Right? They use this down in the engine rooms, but suddenly it's really lethal. *Really* lethal. Apparently the counterparts have to meet for it to be a problem, and I sort of get the impression they can't meet, but Bad Lazarus worked around that. Seems like that would have been threatened before. At no time do you get the impression that this lunatic finally had the wherewithal to be the first to figure it all out.

The much worse problem with the episode is how stupid the crew is at every turn. It all culminates with two men being consigned to an existential hell inside a spinning newspaper for the rest of all eternity

The spinning newspaper!!! (And yeah, the crew is dumb; Kirk and Spock take something lake 15-20 minutes of dialogue to hash out that it's two guys. McCoy should have had his medical license revoked and between this and "Space Seed," Kirk should have been removed from charge of anything larger than a toy bathtub boat.)

Spock forgot he can put people to sleep with his fingertips. He was standing there on the planet, literally right behind an antagonist who was grappling with Kirk, and the finest first officer in the fleet did nothing? Literally, all he had to do was neck-pinch the "bad" Lazarus and then that one could have been tossed into the magnetic corridor — alone — and his bubbleship then vaporized to lock it forever, or he could have been humanely euthanized for the welfare of two entire universes, or he could have been mindwiped at Elba II like Captain Garth, and the "good" Lazarus could then have lived out his kind, gentle life in peace, with plenty of free time to see a barber about that horrible beard.

I think they both have to get in that newspaper corridor together or the solution doesn't work, and if they didn't both go in there, the destructive events of blurry star graphics appearing at random and generating turbulence and wind (??) would continue to screw up everyone's weekend. Ingalls didn’t explain any of this, of course.

But that whole fight is ridiculous. Not just Spock but the phaser two (yay)-sporting guards stay back on their commander's vague instructions while Kirk eventually overpowers Lazarus, and it's poorly blocked and edited. Brown, though, gave a good accounting of himself, picking up Shatner's probably 165-170 pounds almost as easily as Ted Cassidy.

Oof. Still glad I watched it, though.

 

[Spock's Barber]

Nothing is more embarrassing than I, Mudd!!! Especially when you're watching with people, family who are only casually interested!!! The ending is too damn weird to and cringe worthy to look someone in the eye afterwards and yet the Alternative Factor, Children Shall Lead get all the trouble!!!!
JB

I love the teaser for I, Mudd. After that it slips down the slippery slope of silliness.