Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Moments

[SeerSGB]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

I think some of the craziness is the ridiculous notion that 'the customer is always right', and they'll let you know about it!

Even F.W. Woolworth admitted after a while that that motto was a load of nonsense.

Sometimes the customer needs to have an error pointed out; it doesn't always help, but it just might save time, in the long run.

Maybe.

Worked with a guy, fresh out of business school, never had job before-- daddy and mommy were well to do-- and got a General-Manger's job in the store I was working for right out of school-- mostly cause of his degree, and Daddy's last name. He used to preach that fucking "customer is always right" idiocy night and day. He stood by it, till he let a customer con him out of several hundred dollars worth of merchandise (Customer is always right, don't argue with them, just let them have it to keep them coming back), and corporate office blew a major fuse, demoted him and made him pay the loss back out of his paycheck-- which as cashier pay, which what he was busted too for "retraining", took him a while.

 

[RevdKathy]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

When I started working for the NHS, I needed an ID badge. I was duly informed that I had to go to Trust HQ, a round trip then of 80 miles to have my photo taken. I rang the relevent department, and suggested I should just email a suitable photo to them.

"Oh can you do that?"
"I should think so"
"Do you have a camera, then?"
"Yes"
"And you can take a digital photo?"

This was the point where I wanted to reply that I was planning to draw myself with some Nice Crayons and scan it into the pc...

'Fess up. You emailed a picture of a teddy bear, didn't you?

She is a teddy bear!

The NHS security system finds me a bit of a pawful...

 

[apostle83]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

I think some of the craziness is the ridiculous notion that 'the customer is always right', and they'll let you know about it!

Even F.W. Woolworth admitted after a while that that motto was a load of nonsense.

Sometimes the customer needs to have an error pointed out; it doesn't always help, but it just might save time, in the long run.

Maybe.

Worked with a guy, fresh out of business school, never had job before-- daddy and mommy were well to do-- and got a General-Manger's job in the store I was working for right out of school-- mostly cause of his degree, and Daddy's last name. He used to preach that fucking "customer is always right" idiocy night and day. He stood by it, till he let a customer con him out of several hundred dollars worth of merchandise (Customer is always right, don't argue with them, just let them have it to keep them coming back), and corporate office blew a major fuse, demoted him and made him pay the loss back out of his paycheck-- which as cashier pay, which what he was busted too for "retraining", took him a while.

That, along with "Don't talk bad about your competition," assume legitimacy on both ends. I won't talk badly about my competition. The folks that I hear hundreds of stories a year about from folks buying their second engine in 45 days... them's not competition. Just like someone trying to con me out of several hundred dollars isn't a customer anymore.

 

[John Picard]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

In defense of my customers, I must admit that there are times when I understand why they get mad at us.

Example: Whenever we go into someone's account, we have to ask them several questions for authentication.

Anytime I have to endure authentication, the rep at the company always starts apologizing to me. I always say, "No, I have no problem with this and bear with me while I answer your questions". This always results in the most fantastic service

 

[Kestra]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

Share your moments - this will either be therapeutic or cause us to go on a mass driving spree.

I deal with brides and their families, so it's usually pretty crazy. I get the late night calls about them having dreams where there teeth fall out on their wedding day, I get the "I don't want anything unusual for flowers" which later turns out to be "I'd like live fish in the flower vases."

I don't mind for the most part though. It keeps my life interesting and I think planning a wedding can cause anyone to lose their brain, really. The whole reason I'm around is to help keep them sane.

 

[Captain Shaw]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

I have a interview tomorrow for checkout girl at the CO-OP after reading this thread I don’t know if to be more nervous about the interview or getting the job.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

"I'd like live fish in the flower vases."

Would the wedding dance be 'Salmon chanted evening' then?

 

[archeryguy1701]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

I work at a comupter lab/ help desk and how little some people know about computers is amazing. My favorite people are those who can't tell me what program they're using, what the screen looks like, how they got there, what they want to do, and demand that I help them over the phone. I've honestly instituted a phone policy where if we make absolutely no progress in 20 minutes, I politely tell them that I'm unable to help them over the phone. If people want help over the phone, they need to at least have a basic understanding of computers since I can't be there to point at something and tell what it's called or what to do.

 

[Guartho]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

Oooh, I forgot about my college lab-assistant days. I hear you Archerguy. I couldn't tell you how many times I had people say something like "I made this in Adobe, but I can't open it in Illustrator."

"What program did you use to create it?"

"Duh, I said Adobe."

"Yes, Adobe makes Photoshop, Illustrator, InDesign etc. so their name is on all of them. Which one did you use?"

"Adobe."

"Ok, what's the file extension?"

""

"What are the three letters after the file name?"

""

"Ok, can you show me where the file is?"

"Errr... yeah. I saved it Finder."

""

etc. etc.

"Oh, It's a PSD. Open it in Photoshop and then export paths to Illustrator."

"What's Photoshop?"

Outward Me ->
Inward Me -> "HOW did you learn our SPEACH!?"

 

[TheBrew]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

Ok, I'm ready for the longer story. Same park (Sugar Pine Point State Park, if anyone is interested). The basic layout of the park is that on the side of the highway away from the lake is the camping grounds while the other side is the day-use area including the Erhman Mansion. A lot of people like to take the tour of it or just chill out on the beach. A couple of years ago, we were having major construction happening in the day use area. Pretty much the whole parking lot was being changed to help with tourist traffic. The thing is that almost all construction in the Lake Tahoe area happens during the summer because it is just too damn cold during the winter. So all this was happening during peak season.

Anyhoo, you could still get to the day use, but you had to take the bike path down. It's about a mile walk from the parking lot of the camp ground. For most people, this wasn't a problem, but some of the elderly could not make the walk. So we offered to shuttle people down as long as they scheduled an appointment first. So one day an elderly lady comes up and I get the usual questions about the construction. She has a germanic accent and I explain the situation to her and give her the number to call so that we can schedule a shuttle. I thought that was the end of it.

Later, when I am alone in the kiosk because the Senior Park Aide is doing a camp check, a rather angry germanic man comes up and starts demanding to speak my supervisor. I say that he is out and ask how I can help him. He makes mention of a very rude young man who totally brushed off his wife. At least point, I realize that he is talking about me. Of course, I know what actually happened and I take his ravings slightly bemused. I explain to him the situation with the construction. I take down his number and tell him I will relate what he said to the supervisor. He stamps off and I later have a laugh with my supervisor. Everyone knows that I would never act in such a way and we laugh at the crazy old man.

The kicker is that at the end of the day, one of the Rangers came up before he was going to sign off to check up on us. He shared a story of an angry German man who tried to cross into the construction zone. The old man started ranting and raving to the ranger as well about how they shouldn't be doing this construction because it limits access to the park. He also revealed that he was a local only living a few miles from the park. So he should KNOW that all construction in the area happens during the summer season. Did he never wonder why there is never road construction during the winter, but a ton of it during the summer?

Some people, I guess, just want to complain. If I had known better, I would have pointed him here.

 

[Holoaddict]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

I work at a comupter lab/ help desk and how little some people know about computers is amazing. My favorite people are those who can't tell me what program they're using, what the screen looks like, how they got there, what they want to do, and demand that I help them over the phone. I've honestly instituted a phone policy where if we make absolutely no progress in 20 minutes, I politely tell them that I'm unable to help them over the phone. If people want help over the phone, they need to at least have a basic understanding of computers since I can't be there to point at something and tell what it's called or what to do.

Out of curiousity: Have you ever gotten a call about the cupholder being broken?

 

[Trekker4747]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

Just today.

They're remodeling the customer bathrooms in the front of the store, there's signs all over the place, blocking off the hall to them and such saying this and directing customers to the secondary (employee) bathrooms in the back of the store.

Seems simple and straight forward enough, right? Apparently not.

Some old woman today got very testy today about this. Saying that we shouldn't be tearing up our bathrooms and inconveniencing customers by making them "walk all over the store" and "walking through dirty stock rooms" to use the bathroom. So, I guess, my her logic how the bathrooms were 30 years ago when the building was built was how they had to stay for the life of the building since we can't work on them and "inconvenience" customers by making them walk a short distance.

Relatedly, I also love when people *ask* if we have restrooms. I'm always very close to saying, "Nope. But there's a decent dumpster outside you can go behind."

 

[cultcross]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

Relatedly, I also love when people *ask* if we have restrooms. I'm always very close to saying, "Nope. But there's a decent dumpster outside you can go behind."

That wouldn't be weird here - quite frequently supermarkets won't have "restrooms" (that word always makes me laugh ). Annoys the heck out of me.

 

[Lindley]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

Not always public ones, anyway. Seems about 50/50 whether they'll be available around these parts.

Plus some people are really asking for directions to the bathroom when they ask that question.

 

[Trekker4747]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

Not always public ones, anyway. Seems about 50/50 whether they'll be available around these parts.

Plus some people are really asking for directions to the bathroom when they ask that question.

"Restroom" is a public bathroom. (I guess we call them restrooms because there's no bath in them?) I dunno.

Restrooms, bathrooms, lavatories, heads, cans, camodes, johns, whatever you want to call them. It cracks me up when we're asked if we have them. Like this huge 50,000 sq.ft. building staffed with a couple hundred or more employees and often with a few hundred more customers isn't going to have a place to drop off a load.

OF COURSE WE HAVE RESTROOMS!

 

[PsychoPere]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

OF COURSE WE HAVE RESTROOMS!

Just because you have restrooms doesn't necessarily mean you have public restrooms.

 

[Trekker4747]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

OF COURSE WE HAVE RESTROOMS!

Just because you have restrooms doesn't necessarily mean you have public restrooms.

I'd be shocked and surprised to go into a modern day grocery store in a high-class area like this and for them to not have public restrooms.

 

[Tiberius Jim]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

I work at a comupter lab/ help desk and how little some people know about computers is amazing. My favorite people are those who can't tell me what program they're using, what the screen looks like, how they got there, what they want to do, and demand that I help them over the phone. I've honestly instituted a phone policy where if we make absolutely no progress in 20 minutes, I politely tell them that I'm unable to help them over the phone. If people want help over the phone, they need to at least have a basic understanding of computers since I can't be there to point at something and tell what it's called or what to do.

Out of curiousity: Have you ever gotten a call about the cupholder being broken?

I worked as a computer technician for 2 years, and I got all sorts of dumb questions like that. I had a lot of people wanting help over the phone, too. One woman in particular was completely outraged that she would have to bring her computer & printer in to the store to have us figure out why she couldn't print; she expected me to explain it to her over the phone... I told her we could send someone out to her house but, that service being more expensive, she was even more outraged and cursed me out before hanging up. She couldn't even tell me what model her printer was, and she expected me to fix her problem over the phone. For free.



This story is much less infuriating and much more amusing. I sold a customer an HP laptop, and he left the store all sorts of excited about his new purchase.

Now, its important to see what the laptop in questions looks like. A picture can be found at the link below. http://www.hp.com/hpinfo/newsroom/press_kits/2007/mobilitysummit/images/dv2000_radiance.jpg

Note that we are looking at the lid of the laptop, right side up. Pretty obvious, especially with how the logo is oriented. Right?

A few hours later I get a call...its my customer. He says everything is great with the computer, but he can't seem to open the screen. The convo went something like this.

Customer: Yeah, I can't get the lid open, it seems like its locked or something.
Me: Thats odd, those laptops have no locking mechanism for the screen lid, they stay closed without a latch.
Customer: Well I'm pressing the buttons on the front but they won't budge.
Me: The buttons...?
Customer: Yeah there's two rectangular buttons on the edge of the front.
Me: *looks at a similar model on display*
Me: *realizes whats going on*
Me: *in the nicest sounding, least condescending tone possible* Um..sir. Those aren't buttons. Those are the hinges. You're trying to open it the wrong way.
Customer: What? *pause* Oh...shit
Customer: *hangs up*
Me: *laughs for about an hour while telling everyone who'll listen about it*

 

[Trekker4747]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

Makes you wonder how everything was great with it if he couldn't use it.

 

[Tiberius Jim]

Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen

Yeah, I remember thinking that was a funny thing for him to say. I chalked it up to him being a nice guy and trying to assure me that he didn't think I personally had anything to do with his *problem*.

He probably felt like a moron for the rest of the day, but it sure made the rest of mine better.