Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Moments
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Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
Seconded. (or is it thirded?)
Seconded. (or is it thirded?)
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
Non-alcoholic wine is a real thing (other than grape juice). I don't recall the details, but my extended family used to have it for the kids' table at holiday parties.
Non-alcoholic wine is a real thing (other than grape juice). I don't recall the details, but my extended family used to have it for the kids' table at holiday parties.
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
I worked in tourism for the better part of 8 years, so I have some whoppers. I always said that the tourists left half of their braincells at home for safe keeping and that we left half of ours at home so they wouldn't feel bad. (Museum workers can say some CRAZY things after standing by the same exhibit for a few hours repeating the same basic schpheel over and over.)
There was only one that I got regularly that was undeniably stupid instead of the result of being tierd:
At least during the last couple of years that I worked in a store that sold country music, people would walk up to the CDs and ask me, "Are these alphabetical?" (The name and letter cards should have been the first clue.)
I never did, but I always threatened to say something like, "No, we have them arranged by hair color."
That's called a "short customer service call" compared to a lot of companies.
As much as I hate to defend her, I think she was looking for the sparkling grape juice that's used for non-alchoholic toasts. It still doesn't belong in a wine shop, but at least it's only a nieve question instead of a really dumb one.
Besides, she deserves some slack, if the poor dear turns out to actually be alergic to alchohol. That's just...Un-American somehow (and Un-British, Un-Canadian, Un-Irish, Un-Scottish, Un-French, Un-First-World-in-General).
I worked in tourism for the better part of 8 years, so I have some whoppers. I always said that the tourists left half of their braincells at home for safe keeping and that we left half of ours at home so they wouldn't feel bad. (Museum workers can say some CRAZY things after standing by the same exhibit for a few hours repeating the same basic schpheel over and over.)
There was only one that I got regularly that was undeniably stupid instead of the result of being tierd:
At least during the last couple of years that I worked in a store that sold country music, people would walk up to the CDs and ask me, "Are these alphabetical?" (The name and letter cards should have been the first clue.)
I never did, but I always threatened to say something like, "No, we have them arranged by hair color."
Last year my Dad screwed up my taxes and had me overpay by about $400. The IRS was lovely and told me I'd be getting money back - but as of August it hadn't come. I had to call for them to release it. You jerks had me on hold for a good 40 minutes!I work as a customer service representative for perhaps the most hated government agengy in America. Oh the stories I could tell, if I have not mentally blocked them out. I really get a thrill out of some of the "Where's my refund?" calls.
That's called a "short customer service call" compared to a lot of companies.
As much as I hate to defend her, I think she was looking for the sparkling grape juice that's used for non-alchoholic toasts. It still doesn't belong in a wine shop, but at least it's only a nieve question instead of a really dumb one.
Besides, she deserves some slack, if the poor dear turns out to actually be alergic to alchohol. That's just...Un-American somehow (and Un-British, Un-Canadian, Un-Irish, Un-Scottish, Un-French, Un-First-World-in-General).
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
I have no idea if they still do, but MAD magazine long ago used to have a semi-regular feature centering on just the sort of boneheadedly stupid questions you've described. The format went something like:
1st frame - the dumb question
2nd frame - What you should say
3rd frame - What you'd really like to say
I've been too close to the third-frame response too many times. Only rarely do I actually give it.
Oh, yes.
I have no idea if they still do, but MAD magazine long ago used to have a semi-regular feature centering on just the sort of boneheadedly stupid questions you've described. The format went something like:
1st frame - the dumb question
2nd frame - What you should say
3rd frame - What you'd really like to say
I've been too close to the third-frame response too many times. Only rarely do I actually give it.
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
I'm going to go out on a limb here.
Every country has people who have a 'moment' (grey, blonde oldtimers etc). But what has always struck me about a thread like this is the way (usually) Americans respond.
Most places, the dumb customer would say "Well, I'm a bit of a goose, sorry 'bout that" and everyone has a bit of a laugh, the customer is then helped, and all is good. Back in the day when I was a counter-jumper, that was how it went.
But I can't count the number of stories from the US where, when the person is proven wrong, gets up on their high horse and demands satisfaction even louder. The vinegar boy story and 'returning a VCR to a store that doesn't sell VCRs' story are typical of what I mean.
I saw it described once like this: a European says "I don't get it, what's wrong with me?", whereas an American wll say "I don't get it, what's wrong with them?"
Now be clear, I am SO not tarring all the citizens of the US with that brush, especially not here (and there is one non-US poster on this board who is just like that, but I won't name names) - this is just a general observation on this kind of situation. Some of the above stories fit that perfectly, the person seems to think "Oh, it appears I'm wrong so I'll SHOUT LOUDER!"
My question is: why? Wouldn't it make more sense to say "Whoops I misspoke" and sort it out, rather than digging themselves deeper?
I don't get that (What's wrong with me?
)
I'm going to go out on a limb here.
Every country has people who have a 'moment' (grey, blonde oldtimers etc). But what has always struck me about a thread like this is the way (usually) Americans respond.
Most places, the dumb customer would say "Well, I'm a bit of a goose, sorry 'bout that" and everyone has a bit of a laugh, the customer is then helped, and all is good. Back in the day when I was a counter-jumper, that was how it went.
But I can't count the number of stories from the US where, when the person is proven wrong, gets up on their high horse and demands satisfaction even louder. The vinegar boy story and 'returning a VCR to a store that doesn't sell VCRs' story are typical of what I mean.
I saw it described once like this: a European says "I don't get it, what's wrong with me?", whereas an American wll say "I don't get it, what's wrong with them?"
Now be clear, I am SO not tarring all the citizens of the US with that brush, especially not here (and there is one non-US poster on this board who is just like that, but I won't name names) - this is just a general observation on this kind of situation. Some of the above stories fit that perfectly, the person seems to think "Oh, it appears I'm wrong so I'll SHOUT LOUDER!"
My question is: why? Wouldn't it make more sense to say "Whoops I misspoke" and sort it out, rather than digging themselves deeper?
I don't get that (What's wrong with me?
)
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
The problem is that America has evolved into a victim society where no one is in the wrong. People used to admit their shortcomings, but sometime in the mid-to-late-1960's our society started to blame-shift.
I'm going to go out on a limb here.
Every country has people who have a 'moment' (grey, blonde oldtimers etc). But what has always struck me about a thread like this is the way (usually) Americans respond.
Most places, the dumb customer would say "Well, I'm a bit of a goose, sorry 'bout that" and everyone has a bit of a laugh, the customer is then helped, and all is good. Back in the day when I was a counter-jumper, that was how it went.
But I can't count the number of stories from the US where, when the person is proven wrong, gets up on their high horse and demands satisfaction even louder. The vinegar boy story and 'returning a VCR to a store that doesn't sell VCRs' story are typical of what I mean.
I saw it described once like this: a European says "I don't get it, what's wrong with me?", whereas an American wll say "I don't get it, what's wrong with them?"
Now be clear, I am SO not tarring all the citizens of the US with that brush, especially not here (and there is one non-US poster on this board who is just like that, but I won't name names) - this is just a general observation on this kind of situation. Some of the above stories fit that perfectly, the person seems to think "Oh, it appears I'm wrong so I'll SHOUT LOUDER!"
My question is: why? Wouldn't it make more sense to say "Whoops I misspoke" and sort it out, rather than digging themselves deeper?
I don't get that (What's wrong with me?
The problem is that America has evolved into a victim society where no one is in the wrong. People used to admit their shortcomings, but sometime in the mid-to-late-1960's our society started to blame-shift.
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
There's also the entitlement issue. Trying to return a VCR to a place that doesn't sell them isn't an "oops I made a mistake" issue, especialy after being informed about the fact no VCRs are sold there, it's an "I want money NOW!" issue, especialy whent he customer gets in a huff about it.
Now, I've had plenty encounters where people have came in with a competitor's ad, product, or looking for something only a competitor carries and I inform them of the mistake, they smile, we have a chuckle and they take off. That's not a story.
But when someone comes up to me and *DEMANDS* to me that something is so -despite evidence to the contrary- and continues on their high-horse. That's not a sitcom ending, freeze-frame chcukle moment. That's a person being an idiot and an asshole.
When someone comes up to me and asks me if pork is kosher, I tell them no, and they ask me if I'm sure and I -an Agnostic Christian Evolutionist
- has to explain to them about rummerating and cloven hooves. That's someone being an unedjuacated idiot about either their own or loved one's religion.
but -granted- it could be a ha-ha moment. Especialy if afterwards they decide, instead, to go to the deli and buy a meat and cheese tray.
There's a distince diffeence between "this customer needs a brain" and a nice little lapse of commonsense that results in a chuckle. I've had plenty of those. They're non events compared to the countless idiots I've encountered.
There's also the entitlement issue. Trying to return a VCR to a place that doesn't sell them isn't an "oops I made a mistake" issue, especialy after being informed about the fact no VCRs are sold there, it's an "I want money NOW!" issue, especialy whent he customer gets in a huff about it.
Now, I've had plenty encounters where people have came in with a competitor's ad, product, or looking for something only a competitor carries and I inform them of the mistake, they smile, we have a chuckle and they take off. That's not a story.
But when someone comes up to me and *DEMANDS* to me that something is so -despite evidence to the contrary- and continues on their high-horse. That's not a sitcom ending, freeze-frame chcukle moment. That's a person being an idiot and an asshole.
When someone comes up to me and asks me if pork is kosher, I tell them no, and they ask me if I'm sure and I -an Agnostic Christian Evolutionist
- has to explain to them about rummerating and cloven hooves. That's someone being an unedjuacated idiot about either their own or loved one's religion.but -granted- it could be a ha-ha moment. Especialy if afterwards they decide, instead, to go to the deli and buy a meat and cheese tray.
There's a distince diffeence between "this customer needs a brain" and a nice little lapse of commonsense that results in a chuckle. I've had plenty of those. They're non events compared to the countless idiots I've encountered.
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
Well, I sell for direct interchange only, for vehicles 10 years old or newer. That means if you have a '97, and tell me that, that I won't sell you one for a '99, even if your vehicle somehow changes years magically. It's a warranty thing - it's easy to screw up a conversion - but for some reason folks take it personally.
Well, I sell for direct interchange only, for vehicles 10 years old or newer. That means if you have a '97, and tell me that, that I won't sell you one for a '99, even if your vehicle somehow changes years magically. It's a warranty thing - it's easy to screw up a conversion - but for some reason folks take it personally.
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
When I started working for the NHS, I needed an ID badge. I was duly informed that I had to go to Trust HQ, a round trip then of 80 miles to have my photo taken. I rang the relevent department, and suggested I should just email a suitable photo to them.
"Oh can you do that?"
"I should think so"
"Do you have a camera, then?"
"Yes"
"And you can take a digital photo?"
This was the point where I wanted to reply that I was planning to draw myself with some Nice Crayons and scan it into the pc...
When I started working for the NHS, I needed an ID badge. I was duly informed that I had to go to Trust HQ, a round trip then of 80 miles to have my photo taken. I rang the relevent department, and suggested I should just email a suitable photo to them.
"Oh can you do that?"
"I should think so"
"Do you have a camera, then?"
"Yes"
"And you can take a digital photo?"
This was the point where I wanted to reply that I was planning to draw myself with some Nice Crayons and scan it into the pc...
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
This is my favorite from the wine shop.
Customer on phone: "You sold me three bottles of wine and when I got home I discovered they didn't have corks!! The wine spilled all over my car!"
Us: "Uh ... sir, how long was the wine in your car?"
Braindead customer: "Oh, just a few hours."
Us: "Sir, it was 95 degrees yesterday. Wine stored in a hot car will eventually get so warm that it forces the corks out."
Idiot: "Well, how was I supposed to know that? I want a refund!"
He's lucky the corks popped out instead of the bottles exploding! Then he would have been cleaning up broken glass, too.
This is my favorite from the wine shop.
Customer on phone: "You sold me three bottles of wine and when I got home I discovered they didn't have corks!! The wine spilled all over my car!"
Us: "Uh ... sir, how long was the wine in your car?"
Braindead customer: "Oh, just a few hours."
Us: "Sir, it was 95 degrees yesterday. Wine stored in a hot car will eventually get so warm that it forces the corks out."
Idiot: "Well, how was I supposed to know that? I want a refund!"
He's lucky the corks popped out instead of the bottles exploding! Then he would have been cleaning up broken glass, too.
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
'Fess up. You emailed a picture of a teddy bear, didn't you?
'Fess up. You emailed a picture of a teddy bear, didn't you?
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
Not that I disagree to any great extent, but I think a little research would show you that it started decades earlier than that -- well before the turn of the last century, I'd say. The 1950s and 60s were just the tipping point.I'm going to go out on a limb here.
Every country has people who have a 'moment' (grey, blonde oldtimers etc). But what has always struck me about a thread like this is the way (usually) Americans respond.
Most places, the dumb customer would say "Well, I'm a bit of a goose, sorry 'bout that" and everyone has a bit of a laugh, the customer is then helped, and all is good. Back in the day when I was a counter-jumper, that was how it went.
But I can't count the number of stories from the US where, when the person is proven wrong, gets up on their high horse and demands satisfaction even louder. The vinegar boy story and 'returning a VCR to a store that doesn't sell VCRs' story are typical of what I mean.
I saw it described once like this: a European says "I don't get it, what's wrong with me?", whereas an American wll say "I don't get it, what's wrong with them?"
Now be clear, I am SO not tarring all the citizens of the US with that brush, especially not here (and there is one non-US poster on this board who is just like that, but I won't name names) - this is just a general observation on this kind of situation. Some of the above stories fit that perfectly, the person seems to think "Oh, it appears I'm wrong so I'll SHOUT LOUDER!"
My question is: why? Wouldn't it make more sense to say "Whoops I misspoke" and sort it out, rather than digging themselves deeper?
I don't get that (What's wrong with me?
The problem is that America has evolved into a victim society where no one is in the wrong. People used to admit their shortcomings, but sometime in the mid-to-late-1960's our society started to blame-shift.
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
Just to explain to our non-Canadian posters, we have a store in Canada, Canadian Tire, they fix cars, sell hardware, bicycles, small kitchen appliances, camping supplies, all sorts of stuff. I can't think of a US equivalent.
Anyway, they give out coupons called Canadian Tire Money with every purchase, the amount you get is based on how much you spend. It looks a LITTLE bit like real money, it has a dudes face on it, and it has a denomination, anything from 5c to $1 (I think).
Working summer jobs at various tourist attractions, I lost count of how many times US tourists tried to pay for their admission with Canadian Tire Money. One lady actually CALLED THE COPS when I wouldn't accept her wad of 5c bills
Just to explain to our non-Canadian posters, we have a store in Canada, Canadian Tire, they fix cars, sell hardware, bicycles, small kitchen appliances, camping supplies, all sorts of stuff. I can't think of a US equivalent.
Anyway, they give out coupons called Canadian Tire Money with every purchase, the amount you get is based on how much you spend. It looks a LITTLE bit like real money, it has a dudes face on it, and it has a denomination, anything from 5c to $1 (I think).
Working summer jobs at various tourist attractions, I lost count of how many times US tourists tried to pay for their admission with Canadian Tire Money. One lady actually CALLED THE COPS when I wouldn't accept her wad of 5c bills
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
We call that Super Wal-Mart
My fellow Americans can be so friggin' ignorant
We call that Super Wal-Mart
Anyway, they give out coupons called Canadian Tire Money with every purchase, the amount you get is based on how much you spend. It looks a LITTLE bit like real money, it has a dudes face on it, and it has a denomination, anything from 5c to $1 (I think).
Working summer jobs at various tourist attractions, I lost count of how many times US tourists tried to pay for their admission with Canadian Tire Money. One lady actually CALLED THE COPS when I wouldn't accept her wad of 5c bills
My fellow Americans can be so friggin' ignorant
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
Almost got run over by a MoP last night when staffing an accident cordon.
"I'm sorry sir, but at this time we are investigating a major accident and no vehicles can enter this road. If you live on this street please park on the surrounding roads and walk to your property as guided by the other officers."
VRROOOM...
"Are you fucking trying to kill me you myopic twat?!?"
Open drivers door, remove keys, remove driver, arrest for dangerous driving AND failure to stop on request of officer.
Claim 6 hours in overtime at time and a half and go home and collapse before waking up 3 hours later for the next shift.
Customers rock
Hugo - needs his sleep tonight
Almost got run over by a MoP last night when staffing an accident cordon.
"I'm sorry sir, but at this time we are investigating a major accident and no vehicles can enter this road. If you live on this street please park on the surrounding roads and walk to your property as guided by the other officers."
VRROOOM...
"Are you fucking trying to kill me you myopic twat?!?"
Open drivers door, remove keys, remove driver, arrest for dangerous driving AND failure to stop on request of officer.
Claim 6 hours in overtime at time and a half and go home and collapse before waking up 3 hours later for the next shift.
Customers rock
Hugo - needs his sleep tonight
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
You said it bettter than I could.
Another thing is you could have 100 great customers, who joke and banter with you, even about their own foibles and mistakes, but get that one bad customer, and all thoughts of those 100 you had before go right out the window.
You said it bettter than I could.
Another thing is you could have 100 great customers, who joke and banter with you, even about their own foibles and mistakes, but get that one bad customer, and all thoughts of those 100 you had before go right out the window.
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
How can I help you? If it's a 4.0L, those are greta engines and I have excellent supply.
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