And people can't be monstrous and logical at the same time?
Again: the question is not one of plausibility, but of desirability. "People" can be that, but do we want T'Pring to be one of those people?
To me, it's either T'Pring is monstrous, or Vulcan society is. If we take it as is, Vulan is essentially on the same level as Saudi Arabia regarding women's rights, and that Durant really sit right with me.
As I've been saying, the point is that I don't think the writers and producers of "The Serene Squall" realized how the easy bond-breaking they depicted would redefine the events of "Amok Time." I mean, it didn't even strike me the first time I saw the episode; it only came to me later when I thought it through. I don't think they had any intention of portraying either T'Pring or Vulcan society as monstrous; they just didn't recognize the domino effect of the change they made. I'm not positing a character trait of T'Pring's here, I'm positing a plot hole that, if left uncorrected, would require redefining T'Pring in a way that I don't think was intended. So I'm hoping there's a way to fix the plot hole that doesn't require T'Pring choosing to make a guy kill his best friend purely out of petty spite.
I prefer that T'Pring just did something awful, but with a reason. She is essentially giving Spock her own version of "The Vulcan Hello", and I actually like that better. BUT I can see why you would not.
That analogy doesn't work, because "the Vulcan hello" doesn't mean destroying a Klingon ship, just firing on it to show you mean business, earning their respect enough that they're willing to negotiate. It's the same principle as animals baring their fangs to each other before choosing to coexist, or drunks in a bar getting into a brawl and coming out of it as best buds. It's proving you're strong enough to be seen as an equal rather than a target or an unworthy underling. "Vulcan hello" is a misnomer, because it's just the Vulcans recognizing how Klingons "say hello" and accepting the logic of "greeting" them in the same way.