• Welcome! The TrekBBS is the number one place to chat about Star Trek with like-minded fans.
    If you are not already a member then please register an account and join in the discussion!

Mental Wellness Support Group

I never would've imagined that having to spend New Year's Eve completely alone for the first time in fourteen years would affect me this much. I've just shrugged, concluded that one of the content creators I'm following might be doing a livestream today so that I could at least have some parasocial fun, but none of them are. So as much as I didn't want to, I have to face the realization that I'll be having the most mind-bogglingly ordinary Sunday evening imaginable, with the exact same schedule I always have, and everything outside my routine I could try would just feel like a forced attempt to distract myself. I even have to go to bed at the same time I always do on Sundays, because the forest hike tomorrow that my best friend invited me to out of pity is in the morning so I need to wake up at exactly the same time as if I was going to work. It just makes me feel like my entire life is empty and meaningless, and nothing ever changes.
Hugs.

But, also, all I want is a quiet evening at home. All I do is work.
 
I never would've imagined that having to spend New Year's Eve completely alone for the first time in fourteen years would affect me this much. I've just shrugged, concluded that one of the content creators I'm following might be doing a livestream today so that I could at least have some parasocial fun, but none of them are. So as much as I didn't want to, I have to face the realization that I'll be having the most mind-bogglingly ordinary Sunday evening imaginable, with the exact same schedule I always have, and everything outside my routine I could try would just feel like a forced attempt to distract myself. I even have to go to bed at the same time I always do on Sundays, because the forest hike tomorrow that my best friend invited me to out of pity is in the morning so I need to wake up at exactly the same time as if I was going to work. It just makes me feel like my entire life is empty and meaningless, and nothing ever changes.
I'm online now in Zoom. Currently it is just me, but earlier we had Sereaux, Tribblefeeder, and Maurice.

Zoom Details:
Zoom Meeting ID: 892 0224 9685
Passcode: NCC1701
 
I'm a hypocrite, I spend my teenage years telling my high-school friends that they shouldn't compare themselves to other people. That life isn't a competition, that everyone hits their goals at their own pace etc.

Now, I'm doing it myself. I feel like I've accomplished nothing, worse, I can't take care of myself anymore. I blame my mother who didn't teach me to be independent, I learned everything from my boarding school. What I wasn't prepared for was how much I quickly would grow to hate it: the cooking, the ironing, the cleaning, the laundry.

I hired a cleaning service to do it in my place, and I discovered when I had money troubles that I can’t live without it. Bleh, I hate feeling like this

I'm feeling sense of dread today.

I never would've imagined that having to spend New Year's Eve completely alone for the first time in fourteen years would affect me this much. I've just shrugged, concluded that one of the content creators I'm following might be doing a livestream today so that I could at least have some parasocial fun, but none of them are. So as much as I didn't want to, I have to face the realization that I'll be having the most mind-bogglingly ordinary Sunday evening imaginable, with the exact same schedule I always have, and everything outside my routine I could try would just feel like a forced attempt to distract myself. I even have to go to bed at the same time I always do on Sundays, because the forest hike tomorrow that my best friend invited me to out of pity is in the morning so I need to wake up at exactly the same time as if I was going to work. It just makes me feel like my entire life is empty and meaningless, and nothing ever changes.
***HUGS***
 
I never would've imagined that having to spend New Year's Eve completely alone for the first time in fourteen years would affect me this much. I've just shrugged, concluded that one of the content creators I'm following might be doing a livestream today so that I could at least have some parasocial fun, but none of them are. So as much as I didn't want to, I have to face the realization that I'll be having the most mind-bogglingly ordinary Sunday evening imaginable, with the exact same schedule I always have, and everything outside my routine I could try would just feel like a forced attempt to distract myself. I even have to go to bed at the same time I always do on Sundays, because the forest hike tomorrow that my best friend invited me to out of pity is in the morning so I need to wake up at exactly the same time as if I was going to work. It just makes me feel like my entire life is empty and meaningless, and nothing ever changes.

Maybe it isn't out of pity but he really likes you to spend time with
 
This new year is already feels strange, as if I don't belong.
You do belong. You often don't realize or know your true impact to those around you. It could even be something simple as holding a door for someone, who themselves are going through a rough patch and just a little acknowledgement from someone else is enough for them to make it through the day.

We're all just individual bricks in a wall. Every brick contributes to the structural integrity of the wall. While some bricks are keystones that will cause the wall to collapse if missing, the other bricks help shore up the other bricks. You may only be aware of the bricks right around you but you a still a vital piece.
 
You do belong. You often don't realize or know your true impact to those around you. It could even be something simple as holding a door for someone, who themselves are going through a rough patch and just a little acknowledgement from someone else is enough for them to make it through the day.

We're all just individual bricks in a wall. Every brick contributes to the structural integrity of the wall. While some bricks are keystones that will cause the wall to collapse if missing, the other bricks help shore up the other bricks. You may only be aware of the bricks right around you but you a still a vital piece.
Also unique. Not one of us is like another, and we all have value.
 
Last edited:
In bed with a sprained ankle. Hard to walk. Very nervous. Having anxiety attacks about health issues.
 
My mind is nagging me about things that needs to done but I can't remember exactly what. Does that make sense? I hate feelings when they don't make any sense.
 
My mind is nagging me about things that needs to done but I can't remember exactly what. Does that make sense? I hate feelings when they don't make any sense.
Feelings don't have to make sense. They are simply messengers that sometimes misinterpret our bodies cues. Demanding feelings make sense can lead to frustration though.

Yes, it makes sense, but I would get it out of your head (journaling, as Commander Troi notes), as well as other mindfulness practice.

And here's a random Garfield comic discussing the concept of anxiety without a specific cause.
 
So my job hunt is still going on. I have been meeting with my employment specialist ( think that's what his title is) who did help me with doing a resume and has been putting job applications during our meeting. I've even gotten some offers for interviews, but the problem is they're really not places I actually want to work. I feel kind of bad, but I feel guilty saying no when he asks if I want to apply for the jobs that he's picking out, but then once get home, I realize that I really don't want to work at that job.
I have been a little disappointed in what I've been doing with him. I was hoping he'd have access to unique resources, but pretty all he's been doing is just pulling up jobs on Indeed and putting in applications for me. I really don't need him for that, I can do that at home on my own.
I did put in an application on my own today for a kennel attendant job at a local vet's office. I've decided to just focus on animal jobs now, so vet clinics, pet day cares, and any stables/horse ranches if I find them.
 
I have been a little disappointed in what I've been doing with him. I was hoping he'd have access to unique resources, but pretty all he's been doing is just pulling up jobs on Indeed and putting in applications for me. I really don't need him for that, I can do that at home on my own.
Let him know this. Ask about getting tested for your anxiety and therapy.
 
So my job hunt is still going on. I have been meeting with my employment specialist ( think that's what his title is) who did help me with doing a resume and has been putting job applications during our meeting. I've even gotten some offers for interviews, but the problem is they're really not places I actually want to work. I feel kind of bad, but I feel guilty saying no when he asks if I want to apply for the jobs that he's picking out, but then once get home, I realize that I really don't want to work at that job.
I have been a little disappointed in what I've been doing with him. I was hoping he'd have access to unique resources, but pretty all he's been doing is just pulling up jobs on Indeed and putting in applications for me. I really don't need him for that, I can do that at home on my own.
I did put in an application on my own today for a kennel attendant job at a local vet's office. I've decided to just focus on animal jobs now, so vet clinics, pet day cares, and any stables/horse ranches if I find them.
I was in a similar program like that about 20 years ago and they helped learn how to drive as a way to assist me in finding a job!
 
If you are not already a member then please register an account and join in the discussion!

Sign up / Register


Back
Top