I am sorry to hear that happened to you and while I cannot imagine the depression that must have hit, I also would encourage to not let it ruin the rest of your holidays. Though, trust me, I feel that temptation.
Mental Wellness Support Group
- Thread starter Twilight Phoenix
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I'm sorry you had such a shitty experience. *hugs*
@wayoung It could have just been some ribbing and not intended to be insulting so my advice is to give them the benefit of the doubt. I think it might have appeared offensive because you don't know what they were saying but it could easily be as innocent as just silly comments about your undies which you might have found funny if you knew what they were saying.
It could also be your girlfriend's family trying to gauge you so take that in to consideration when you visit. Maybe they're testing the waters so if your girlfriend says they were just being silly about your attire then take it as nothing more than that. Some of the names of boxer shorts can be quite funny in how they try to resemble more prestigious brands. I'm not saying your boxers fall in to that category but it's possible that is all there is to it so don't let it spoil your holidays.
It could also be your girlfriend's family trying to gauge you so take that in to consideration when you visit. Maybe they're testing the waters so if your girlfriend says they were just being silly about your attire then take it as nothing more than that. Some of the names of boxer shorts can be quite funny in how they try to resemble more prestigious brands. I'm not saying your boxers fall in to that category but it's possible that is all there is to it so don't let it spoil your holidays.
Yeah, that does seem like shitty behavior to me. A situation like that is already awkward enough without them making those kind of comments in a language you don't understand.
I know it's not their fault, but I have to admit, I always get a little paranoid when I can tell people are talking about me in a language I don't understand.
I hate my depression and anxiety so much because it always fluctuating how intense it feels. Biggest gripe the positive swings don't last and it becoming very resistant to any form of medical treatment or therapy from my mental health provider. Can't do TMS because I have metal in the skull from reconstructive head surgery.
Is EMDR a possibility?
Fell into a shame spiral yesterday. I was looking at outfits for NYE and remembered doing the same thing last year and thinking then I'd be thinner by now. It feels like all the time in the gym has been wasted, even though I know intellectually that's not true. I'm stronger and healthier. Just still obese. 
Always a challenge, my friend. The point is to go forward, not to arrive at one specific destination. That you are being healthier, and stronger is a good thing. But, as cliche as it sounds, you didn't get here overnight and won't leave here overnight either.Fell into a shame spiral yesterday. I was looking at outfits for NYE and remembered doing the same thing last year and thinking then I'd be thinner by now. It feels like all the time in the gym has been wasted, even though I know intellectually that's not true. I'm stronger and healthier. Just still obese.
Thanks. 
Never heard of it
Eye Movement Desentization and Reprocessing therapy. It was developed to help stuck trauma memories but has been shown to be effective in other cases too. It is a very structured therapeutic intervention that uses bilateral stimulation to aid in process.
I have to look into it.
At least you're stronger and healther.Fell into a shame spiral yesterday. I was looking at outfits for NYE and remembered doing the same thing last year and thinking then I'd be thinner by now. It feels like all the time in the gym has been wasted, even though I know intellectually that's not true. I'm stronger and healthier. Just still obese.
I did it for a year. My ex did it for awhile as well.
It's a new-ish therapy from the early 90's that's grown in popularity. It has its proponents but also it's detractors. There's not a lot of solid evidence behind it.
I found the actual EMDR didn't help but the repeated exposure therapy, which is part of the EMDR, did. Which is a pretty common experience with it.
I'm a hypocrite, I spend my teenage years telling my high-school friends that they shouldn't compare themselves to other people. That life isn't a competition, that everyone hits their goals at their own pace etc.
Now, I'm doing it myself. I feel like I've accomplished nothing, worse, I can't take care of myself anymore. I blame my mother who didn't teach me to be independent, I learned everything from my boarding school. What I wasn't prepared for was how much I quickly would grow to hate it: the cooking, the ironing, the cleaning, the laundry.
I hired a cleaning service to do it in my place, and I discovered when I had money troubles that I can’t live without it. Bleh, I hate feeling like this
Now, I'm doing it myself. I feel like I've accomplished nothing, worse, I can't take care of myself anymore. I blame my mother who didn't teach me to be independent, I learned everything from my boarding school. What I wasn't prepared for was how much I quickly would grow to hate it: the cooking, the ironing, the cleaning, the laundry.
I hired a cleaning service to do it in my place, and I discovered when I had money troubles that I can’t live without it. Bleh, I hate feeling like this
That sounds bad, if it changes into feeling of doom you should see a doctor
I never would've imagined that having to spend New Year's Eve completely alone for the first time in fourteen years would affect me this much. I've just shrugged, concluded that one of the content creators I'm following might be doing a livestream today so that I could at least have some parasocial fun, but none of them are. So as much as I didn't want to, I have to face the realization that I'll be having the most mind-bogglingly ordinary Sunday evening imaginable, with the exact same schedule I always have, and everything outside my routine I could try would just feel like a forced attempt to distract myself. I even have to go to bed at the same time I always do on Sundays, because the forest hike tomorrow that my best friend invited me to out of pity is in the morning so I need to wake up at exactly the same time as if I was going to work. It just makes me feel like my entire life is empty and meaningless, and nothing ever changes.
Hugs
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