TOS Caption Contest #79 - Yo Ho Ho!

[Outpost4]

You folks are prolific. Most weeks we have four pages of captions. Some weeks it gets up to six. This week there were twelve pages. With an inspired jump into hyperspace with multiple photoshops, you all made the whole Trek community laugh an awful lot. This was one of those weeks I could have named a dozen winners.

But I won't. The main winners were contest regulars The Squire of Gothos and Captian Gertch (Now I know why you spelled Captain that way when you first signed up on TrekBBS, Gertch. Captian rhymes with caption.) Congratulations to you two for being funny once again.

Kirk: Strange, there appears to be a looped footage of you looking over your shoulder at me.

"Now THIS Captain, is what happens when tribbles grow up. Is it still hilarious that Scotty beamed them all away?"

When judging captions, I pull every one that I think could be a winner to make a rough cut and then pick from that. I must have had a dozen photoshopped choices selected. ("most likely to drive a running joke into the ground" / "Mom?" / "It's a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port." / "They appear to be gorged." / "It is not logical. I have the pointy eyebrows and ears while she has the pointy nipples."). After looking at all the variations, I ended up giving the wins to the two guys who started it all, Belar and Hambone. First time winner Belar grabbed a tit and Hambone took us to a galaxy far, far away. Nice starting the ball rolling, guys.

"Uncle Owen, this R2 unit has a bad motivator...look!"

This week's contest has two parts. The first is the normal one week, screen cap caption contest. The second will run for two weeks and uses cartoons out of Star Trek comic books mentioned in this thread.

The regular pics have Chekov on the throne and Spock investigating.

From the story The Flight of the Buccanner, which is book #12 if you want to read it, I pulled the following three panels. Please fill in the balloons. You can use one, two or all three of the pictures for your caption, and you can put the panels in any order. I would ask that you organize them vertically, instead of the more normal horizontal reading, so as to not stretch the page. A possible type face to use is LetterOMatic, which can be downloaded for free from here. As I said upthread, I'm letting this part of the contest run for two weeks.

By the way, in the first pic, those stripped shirt pirates are supposed to be McCoy, Spock and Scotty. And yes, they are all wearing hoop earrings. Kirk is in the red bandanna.

Arrgh, mateys!


TOS Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

26138
A Beaker Full Of Death (2x)
Adam Ihle (4x)
AlphaTrionTJW
ancient
Bad Atom (2x)
Battrekker
Belar

First Time Winner!
cakes516
CaptainJon
Classic Fan
commodore64
cooleddie74 (10x)
cultcross
DeafPoet
DrBob (6x)
DS9Sega (3x)
EliyahuQeoni
FishDS9
galleywest (4x)
Gertch (13x)

Plus one this time for a total of 14!
goldbug
Guartho
Haggis and Tatties
Hambone

Plus one this time for a total of 2!
J. Allen (2x)
jayrath
Kahloke
Kegek (2x)
KJM
Mallory
MGagen
Mojochi
M'Sharak (5x)
Nerys Myk (12x)
Noname Given
Outpost4 (12x)
Quo Vadimus
Rat Boy (17x)
Redfern
SciFi75 (2x)
scottydog (13x)
Shatmandu (6x)
Sir Rhosis (2x)
SpiderMonkeeDolenz(4x)
T'Bonz (5x)
terranova
Tharpdevenport (3x)
The Castellan
The Laughing Vulcan (9x)
The Old Mixer
The Squire of Gothos (7x)

Plus one this time for a total of 8!
The Tone (2x)
TigerOfDarkness
Tim M (3x)
Tristan
Turbo
vassa
Woulfe (3x)

 

[Outpost4]

Chekov wished Russia had invented the handle, too.

Spock: I have 23cc to your 10, Mr. Sulu.

 

[Michael]

Thank you, Outpost4! But why didn't you just say "this guy can make good Photoshops, but he'll never pull off a funny caption"?

Congrats to the other winners!

Okay, here's an obvious one:

*poop*

Chekov: "Now vere do I flush?"

 

[Gertch]

Woot! Thanks for the win. There were so many great ones. I don't envy your job but you do it well. Thanks for doing these.

"I vish de Keptin vould hurry in there. I have to drop a harry mudd."

Spock and Sulu tried hard not to let on Uhura's strap-on was sticking out of her skirt.

 

[Rat Boy]

Chekov: "That anvil's going to hit me, isn't it?"

Spock: "Pure LDS. I suppose this would explain the rash of recent hallucinations of being in a gay bath house with Captain Archer's crew, Balok's puppet, and the crew of a starship from the future."

 

[Defcon]

Chekov(thinking): Damn, I hate those wide open toilets.

Spock: Lieutenant Uhura, you will be happy to hear that Chekov isn't the father of your child.
Uhura (thinking): I hope it's you, you Vulcan stud.
Sulu (thinking): Why do I even have to give an urin sample? Everybody knows it can't be me.

 

[Outpost4]

Chekov: How come the caves we're in always have flat floors and no roofs?

 

[Michael]

Uhura: "What are you doing?"
Spock: "Scanning for caffeine. Can't handle that in the morning."

 

[Outpost4]

Spock: I thought this tasted like Pepsi. I specifically requested a Coke.

 

[Gertch]

Sulu: "So one drink make you larger and one drink makes you small?"
Spock: "Faster. Speed Mr Sulu, not size, drives the 60's."

 

[Michael]

Spock: "My records indicate that we need just one more thing to complete our can phone ..."

 

[EliyahuQeoni]

Hmm that's a strange place to find panties.

Spock:"According to the tricorder, the reason our coffee tastes like fish is because it was prepared by a Fish Looking Coffee Making Asswipe."

 

[Michael]

Spock: "The sensors indicate we'll soon be part of several cross captions. Also, Mr. Sulu will be subjected to multiple jokes mocking George Takei's sexual orientation."

 

[26138]

Chekov suddenly realized that he was out of toilet paper.

 

[Michael]

Chekov suddenly realized that he was out of toilet paper.

So he considered to use the out-of-space Persian tapestry.

 

[Jptrekker]

Additives you name, blend I name, otherwise refill no.

 

[Michael]

Spock: "Oh shit, my iPhone went bust!"

 

[EliyahuQeoni]

Spock:According to the library computer we've made an error. Its supposed to be two girls and one cup, not two cups and one girl.

 

[Jptrekker]

Run Meester Spock, get the plunger. It's bigger than the captain's log and it's jammed up the whole system.

 

[M'Sharak]

Spock: I have 23cc to your 10, Mr. Sulu.

Creme or Godley?