I started a Trek haiku thread on another forum (now, no more). Here are my contributions:
Gamma Quadrant, still.
What are we doing out here?
More raktajino!
Another voyage,
another anomaly.
We can't take much more!
Vic Fontaine's crooning,
on the USS Kelvin,
at Dixon Hill's wake
Distress beacon from
humanoids with face ridges-
it's Tuesday in space.
Transporter echo
wandering a Jefferies tube...
Turbolift to Hell!
... a temporal loop?
Are we stuck in a tempo
ral loop? Are we stuck...
Glistening bloodwine
and bowls and bowls of fresh Gagh
Honor the fallen!
The bosun's whistle
Soft air rush as doors open
Impulse engines' thrum
I know what goes well
with this resequenced protein...
Passionfruit iced tea!
Balder than Sisko-
Captain Ilia Janeway
on Star Trek: V'ger
A sun beats down on
the Rikers' Risa time-share.
Steady as she goes.
Always trespassing
where no one has gone before...
Human-kind on trial
Pine is essential
but Hemsworth is not required.
Get another Chris!
Constellation class,
how many nacelles you got?
Yo- that's a lot, bro.
Efficient circuits
strain to cognate the human-
positronic brain
So many minds but
only one thought between them
Locutus of Bored
Riker and Sisko
know how to advance themselves:
facial hair heroes
Under the table
in 10 Forward, I just found
7 tricorders.
Failed to kick my Targ.
Now I'm sentenced to break rocks
on Rura Penthe.
Wesley Crusher and
Alexander Rozhenko
look askance at Nog.
Young Spock's scruffy beard.
Emotional? Logical?
Mirror Spock's goatee.
This station's bright side:
your next birthday party is
wormhole-adjacent
Daddy, where's my sock?
Chief, get it working again.
O'Brien- fix it!
Plain, simple Garak
Tinker Tailor? Soldier Spy?
Never mind- just eat.
Klingon diplomats
talk softly, carry bat'leth.
Scratch that- SHOUT LOUDLY!
Self-sealing stem bolts,
tulaberry wine, Yamok sauce...
... perhaps a mixed case?
We are Jem'Hadar.
Genetically-modified,
rollin' on K-Dubs.
Want to stop the Borg?
Distraction is our last hope.
Assimilate Q.
Send an away team-
Thomas Riker's been replaced
by Mirror Tuvix!
Section 31.
The real secret? Just pranksters.
Beam in. Poop. Beam out.
Revenge: best served cold.
Try to find the logic in
Plomeek gazpacho!
Romulans, Vulcans...
my name is Jean-Luc Picard.
I will mediate.
Mr. Sulu will
captain the Excelsior
until time's collapse.
Can we even tell
that Lwaxana Troi was hit
by Cupid's phaser?
Holosuite Oo-mox,
with one Morn story, becomes
Agonizer booth
Sylvia wakes Kirk
from a pleasant slumber on
next week's show: Catsbutt
For Chris and Vina,
love was just an illusion...
if memory serves.
Ready transporters-
this damned food replicator
is out of carbons.
Locutus of Borg,
I'm Leland-Control of Borg.
We're pleased to meet us.
Open the case and
stare directly at the orb.
Time's not important.
Uncomfortable pause.
Is this Starfleet policy?
Captain, I'm confused.
I will forever
bang my head into the wall
in near-warp transport.
Games of brinksmanship?
Dom-jot and Parisi Squares
are enough for me.
My symbiont by
EPS conduit to
your staid Klingon heart.
Jack Crusher was crushed.
Jonathan Archer was arched.
Will Riker was... riked.
Section 31
of the Mirror Universe
.uoy no pu kaens lliw
Joy! The computer
informs me, "Program complete.
Enter when ready."
I'd lift it myself!
Utopia Planitia
is building my dream.
We are joined like Trill
in our spiritual past-
Romulan, Vulcan.
Warp core, infested.
The ambassador... lying.
My mind- out of phase!
Sauternes, old but sweet-
but I'll not yet have dessert.
Now, to live again!
We'll ask the doctor,
"Do synths dream of android sheep?"
Positronic cells.
What is legacy
when compassion's left the world?
Leisure of a man.
Pull up a chair, Will.
Dear God- what are you doing?
Leave my ready room!
Feline supplements-
sure. Now maybe something for
that baby space-whale... ?
FNN updates:
"Shuttle Crash Strands Pair At Odds"
"New Disease Reversed"
They say space is black.
Sometimes I look out at death
and wish they were right.
An early Risa
knows seeking rest is pointless.
Horgon conclusion
An IDIC pendant
draped against a dead man's neck-
no grace in The Forge.
The final frontier
in an endless dimension-
time will defeat us.
I was accepted
at Starfleet Academy.
Itchy uniforms
Eight years an ensign
Abandoned salamander
Justice for Tuvix!
Lieutenant M'Ress,
I'll only ask you once more...
Stop licking your butt!
Live long and prosper
on this over-burdened rock...
Is it logical?
Raffi Musiker
Captain Cristobal Rios
Agnes Jurati
Commander Data
Admiral Kirsten Clancy
Doctor Bruce Maddox
Took a sip of joe-
I’m over-cranked and canted.
”Would you mind explai...”
City in the clouds...
Have you ascended above
any empathy?
Eight series watched, what
have I done? Now Voyager's
the only damned one.
Oh, Deep Space Nine game...
your ratings, mediocre.
Yet play you, I must!
Logician Surak
could never prepare us for
a mind like Trelaine’s
Bones got mad when Spock
dug a huge pit on Andor-
that Vulcan ice hole!
I’m sorry, sir, that
your people are malnourished.
We just have Neelix.
Locutus of Borg,
making a collective call
to Seven of Nine
New memory tape-
"The Perpetual Ensign",
Harry Kim's memoir
Evocative first
haiku from Garak Nephew.
Welcome to low art!
Phaser, transporter,
tricorder, replicator,
chocolate pudding.
It is logical
to exercise the body.
Live long and perspire.
Search for her using
multi-phasic bio-scans.
The surface is bare.
Hugh Culber is dead
but the mushrooms embrace him.
Pax mycelium
"Computer, locate
Livingston." "Livingston is
in Data's quarters."
Dud torpedoes and
dead nacelles in Xindi space.
Maybe Shran can help...
Plastic Kirk and Spock
had decades to save the day.
Mego Sisko waits.
Have you heard this tape?
My favorite tricording:
Bones Lectures Vulcans
MC Tuvok and
DJ Spock, violating
The Rhyme Directive
Recall sensor probe.
Warp signatures detected.
All decks, red alert.
Itchy uniform
Restrictive behavior codes
I'm Starfleet for life
More sentience, please!
We will duplicate your crew...
… but... pass... on Neelix.
Going in circles
with one nacelle out-of-phase...
non-standard orbit
"LaForge, can we move?"
"Warp drive still offline, captain."
"Where's my Shakespeare book?"
Under-bed monsters
or Neelix, right in your face-
your choice, Naomi.
Targ steaks, blood pie, gagh...
This Bird of Prey is well stocked.
Alas, no olives.
Glitched tricorder just
says, “Five million, three-hundred
eighteen thousand, eight.”
Arrived looking for
a low-mileage pit woofie;
left with no wallet.
Naomi Wildman,
you're the Captain's assistant;
Ensign Kim, her clown.
Wild Girl of the Woods,
you are wise beyond your years.
Rich soil serves you well.
"Will! Kestra's shooting
arrows at the garage door."
"Again, girl? SHIELDS UP!"
Well, Captain Braxton...
we meet again... and again...
and again... and a-
New xB warp core!
Top speed is Seven of Nine...
… Point-Nine-Seven-Five.
Resistance, species
3259, is futile
and illogical.
Like the Borg alcove?
Wait ‘til you see the foyer!
Feng shui is futile.
Here's Mudd in your eye!
Spit out what can't be chewed in...
The Tholian Wad.
"We might be able
to modify the shields to..."
"You have 10 minutes."
"Please state the nature
of your drinks emergency."
"Cold raktajino."
On the job, I still
chew whisky-infused gum, but
made with synthehol.
Electric doe eyes
assimilating my heart.
G'night, li'l Borgers.
Chaptalization:
Do electric admirals
make synthehol wine?
"One-hundred eighty
centimeters, precisely."
Measure of a man
I’m a whole new man:
slide trombone, jamaharon-
no anbo-jyutsu.
Ressican flautist
leans against the open door...
Need some help, buddy?
What a mess we're in.
Lower denominator?
Decks awash with dreck.
It’s tea, Earl Grey - hot...
but I just can’t separate
the saucer section.
