I'm new here and I've only had a look over the last few pages of this thread but I just wanted to say hi and that it's nice to see people talking openly and being kind and supportive of each other. I'm on the spectrum and have adhd, anxiety and occasionally a bit of depression. But I don't have anything to share right now. Hope the day is being kind to you all.
Got that one thing that put me over the edge into an anxiety attack today. I immediately took a benzo and did grounding and relaxation exercises and CBT worksheets. Stopped the worst of it but I was spiralling for a bit. 3 hours later and I'm still tense, despite the benzo. The worst is the lack of sleep. I just know if I could get my sleep back to where it was a few weeks ago I could deal with all this stress better. But I can't do it. Might take another benzo tonight before bed. See if I can just get a solid night out.
Sleep is the worst. My wife struggles with it routinely and it takes a bit to just find that groove and unwind. I've been taking to doing yoga before bed, trying to stretch out my back to get the tension to reduce. Moderate success. Good luck!
It's been an ongoing project for me. I never slept particularly well but then a decade of constant hyper vigilance and CPTSD completely ruined it. I've been working on it since I got out of that situation and it is quantifiably better even vs a year ago but I still can't hit the 7 hour/night average so every single night that is bad just devestates me. I have so much sleep debt it's impossible to catch up without going into a coma (and I'm still accruing more since I can't break 7 hours), and one night of 4 or 5 hours just plunges me back into a hole it's difficult to climb out of. The last two weeks have had many more than one night of 4 or 5 hours. It's negatively impacting me in every way. I'm hoping to catch up some this weekend without work to worry about, but I'm booked up tomorrow and Sunday with stuff so I can't even just spend the weekend in bed.
Welcome to this thread and forum. Thanks for the nice sentiments. Lately I have been feeling overwhelmed and anxious. My family is selling the house we've lived in for the last 15 years. Some of you may know that I've shared this home with my parents and other family members, and we've had lots of good memories together over the years. Now that my parents and oldest sister are no longer with us, some of us have parted ways, and it's just my brother and I left in a big empty house. So we'll be moving to an apartment within the next 30 days. Rents have gone up in recent years. I'm stressing over the next steps like finding a new place, confirming availability, scheduling the move, among other things. I don't know, but for some reason I think I would be depressed in this situation, but I'm not. Perhaps I've developed some degree of resilience from my mindfulness practice.
*HUGS* and good luck with getting some sleep this weekend. I had a bad spiral last night. Full "I'm terrible, self-centered, petty, angry, etc., etc." and "I'm just like my mom." I had a good talk with my Hubby this morning and he reminded me that 1) I'm not like my mom (she's seemingly incapable of self-reflection or learning from her mistakes); 2) I'm all those things because I'm *human*, but those are not *all* I am. That helped. Then I went to the gym and meditated when I got home, and those helped too. It's weird, like all the epiphanies I probably should've had over the years have squeezed into the year and a half since I started therapy. It's like superspeed time compression.
Sleep struggles suck quite a bit. Unfortunately, what I have learned is there is no real catching up the sleep debt so much as it is important to create a very consistent sleep schedule, going to bed at the same time every night, getting up every day at the same time, rather than trying to play catch up, like many tend to do on the weekends. The best I can suggest, short of therapy with someone trained in CBT-I (I believe, CBT for insomnia), is working on creating a very positive sleep space, music or white noise, and a relaxing time before bed. Difficult I know with the CPTSD. But, that routine will make a huge difference.
Definitely a lack of sleep just makes everything worse when it comes to mental health. Just like obesity seems to negatively affect every physical impairment out there, insomnia seems to negatively affect every mental impairment. Our bodies just need sleep. On occasion, yes, we can function on a few hours sleep if needed. But that adds up over time. Definitely true. I think it's important to focus on the present when it comes to insomnia and trying to sleep. Thinking about all the lost sleep and trying to 'catch up' is just going to create more anxiety and make it even harder to get to sleep. What's done is done. Don't worry so much on the past. Each day just make an attempt to get to sleep earlier and whenever one has the opportunity to sleep in, do that. It's really amazing what even one good night sleep can do for the body and mind. So focus on that instead of sleep debt. The girl I'm seeing now has a lot of anxiety and depression issues. I always try to tell her she's actually pretty amazing. She has a full time job (as a special education teacher believe it or not), she is a single mother, owns a home/car. Some days she really has to push herself, and she does. So I tell her to give herself more credit. Not everyone can do what she does when they deal with anxiety and depression. In my job I see it myself. I talk to some people about their own anxiety and depression and some people almost shut down, and some isolate, don't even come out of their room most of the time. And it's ok to have a good cry now and again if you need. Maybe she just needs a hug, or someone to vent to. I'm always ready for a good hug And it's important, like you say, to remember we are all only human. Don't worry about setting up lofty goals. Don't get me wrong, it's ok to have long term goals, somewhere you want to ultimately reach. But try to set up smaller, more achievable goals that you believe you can reach. Then you'll feel better about yourself when you meet those goals. Take them in steps. And eventually you'll get further and further and one day you might realize you're doing actually doing a little better. Human beings usually seem to feel better about themselves when they can reach the goals they set up for themselves. Just make them achievable and when they start, it's important to take baby steps so you don't create frustration. It might just be something as simple as washing the dishes today for someone having a bad time. Just something they can achieve.
As an FYI I've been typing stuff in reply here and then deleting it so if I accidentally post something and then it disappears that's why
Who else hates the struggle to get enough caffeine into your system to keep yourself functioning but not so much that it makes your anxiety untenable?
Worse is the headache if you don't get it soon enough But, yes, I have to modulate caffeine intake and never on an empty stomach. You ever been tested for ADHD at all?
Just curious. It can present in different ways including inattentive, tendency to daydream, or hyperfocusing to the exclusion of all else. Caffeine insensitivity can be a sign of it, a poor man's test as it were. That's why I ask.
I rarely eat in the morning so it's almost always on an empty stomach. I have coffee in the morning, yerba mate lunch ish for the caffeine and supposed mood enhancement, and a sugar free red bull in the afternoon. Nothing ever after 6, preferably nothing after 4. But since my anxiety has been bad I've been cutting back on caffeine since that makes it worse, but since my sleep has been worse because of the anxiety (this causing a loop) I'm more tired than normal so want more caffeine, which increases anxiety
Vicious cycle. I would encourage you to maybe exercise a little more to support the sleep, and continue your caffeine adjustments. When I'm super anxious I can't do caffeine past 3 because I won't sleep.
In other news this showed up in my email today, quotes about hope in the face of illness. Feels timely today.