So, I rewatched the episode and i liked it slightly more the second time. Might be worthy up bumping up my rating of it to an 8.
Still annoyed that Pike doesn't push back at all on the idea of poverty and suffering for children in the Federation. But by his expression he does seem, as other posters indicated, to be rather resigned to just not arguing with Alora about it.
Ways the episode could have been improved:
- Give some follow-up on the dropped plot thread where Number One is annoyed that there is no way to communicate with Pike, before he suddenly flips open his communicator and says "now, number one". It seems like there must have been a deleted scene where they reestablish comms and Pike sets up a "beam me out immediately, when I signal it" plan.
- They shouldn't have made the whole thing a mystery box. Without it we could have better explored the whole "sacrifice as a central part of their society" thing. Made it a little more integral to the storytelling and would have enhanced Pike's own consideration of his future sacrifice. Upon the rewatch, the episode plays better anyway when you are not trying to figure out the rather pedestrian mystery. And the second attack ship: what, was it on remote when they faked the death of the prospective first servant? or did that whole crew sacrifice themselves for the fake out?
- It's a nitpick, but La'an saying that accessing the data tapes from the downed attack frigate would have "taken weeks" through normal channels is rather silly. When has anything like that ever been the case especially when investigating and attacker? There was no larger story point about it (for instance, neither Uhura nor La'an got in trouble; it was never even mentioned again). La'an should have just said, "I took these to analyze. But they were erased by the data wipe and further damaged in the crash, but i figured with your linguistics expertise you might be able to salvage something the computer hasn't been able to."
But like I said, it played better the second time when I was more able to concentrate on the themes being covered than the kind of boring "mystery" elements.
The Federation is huge. There aren't some planets within the Federation that are completely utopian? That also doesn't account for sickness too. The alien civilization has figured all of that out.
I rather like that La'an breaks the rules in this regard. Probably an unpopular opinion, but sometimes you have to break well intentioned and important rules to do the right thing.