Contest: ENTER DS9 CapCon #164: Now in HD!

[IMC Headquarters]

SISKO: Mister Nog! Remember--you're our designated driver. Stick to the root beer tonight.
NOG: (incomprehensible squealing)

KIRA: I'll never point a laser at a jet ever again!

BASHIR: I'm no lawyer, but I think this contract from the Orion Syndicate will give you greater take-home pay than what you're getting here. You could make a killing. Oh. Wait. You do actually have to kill somebody.

 

[IMC Headquarters]

MARTOK: She'll break your heart, Worf. Mark my words. And then when you're howling at the moons in your miserable grief your enemies will sneak up behind you and slit your---
WORF: Do you wish to lose your other eye, General? Leave us alone.
JADZIA: Ooh. You'd howl for me, Worf? That is so romantic...
MARTOK: Gaah!

 

[kkt]

MARTOK: She'll break your heart, Worf. Mark my words. And then when you're howling at the moons in your miserable grief your enemies will sneak up behind you and slit your---
WORF: Do you wish to lose your other eye, General? Leave us alone.
JADZIA: Ooh. You'd howl for me, Worf? That is so romantic...
MARTOK: Gaah!

Not to be confused with gagh.

 

[R O B]

Quark: You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Inner Monologue: "Don't look at the boobs, don't look at the boobs, don't look at the boobs..." looks up at her and comments aloud, "Top of the boobs to you."

 

[Captain pl1ngpl0ng]

What do you mean we can't join the sex simulation??

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Sisko: Chief, when are you going to fix the uniform replicator?
O'Brien: (mutters) How do you know I didn't?
Sisko: What's that?
O'Brien (louder): Nothing, sir.

Bashir: "Six across. 'Handsome, in a roguish sort of way'...hmm, what could it be? Any ideas?"
Leeta: "If you're fishing for compliments, Julian, I gotta tell you, you're gonna have to use better bait than that..."

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Quark: "Rom, have you seen Odo around lately?"
Rom: "No. He could be anywhere right now. Or anything. That cup, for instance. Or the bottle in your hand. Even...me. (stares into Quark's eyes, does the "I'm watching you" V finger gesture, cocks head to one side, then goes limp on the bar)
Quark: "Don't do that!"
Rom: (shoulders shaking with laughter)
Quark: "It's not funny!"

 

[tharpdevenport]

Why not let somebody else judge this and the movie contest? Doesn't look like LeadHead is coming back any time soon.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

SISKO: Forget the war, people. It’s time to save our pretend crooner!

QUARK: Alright, your two minute lunch break is over, get back to work.

ODO: If you’re so worried about the Federation why not collapse your side of the wormhole?
FEMALE CHANGELING: This way is more fun.

MARTOK: Worf, it’s HR. There’ve been complaints about the PDA.

DAX: Did anyone get hit?
KIRA: No one with an established name.
DAX: So no casualties.

LEETA: How do I make him interested, maybe I should act like a patient? Nah, nobody’s that creepy.

 

[Oddish]

AVERY BROOKS: "All right, I am officially renegotiating my contract. And it now includes the right to shave my head if I ing want to! ANY QUESTIONS?!!"
RICK BERMAN: "Uh... n-n-no, Mr. Brooks. Y-you do you."

BASHIR: "Wow... I know Vulcan Love Slave was spicy, but I didn't know it involved a case of champagne, a bullwhip, a banana cream pie, two sticks of dynamite, and a live squid!"
LEETA: "And that's just Chapter One."

DAX: "Kira! The Cardassians are shooting at us! Look for your contact lens later."
KIRA: "Never mind, found it."

ODO: "You have Trill zombies and Romulan zombies, but no Bajoran zombies? What if I wanted a Bajoran zombie?"

NOG: "Everyone else is wearing fancy suits, and I gotta wear these grimy old coveralls. Why do I have to wear the coveralls?"
SISKO: "Because you're the ensign. Deal with it."
O'BRIEN: "This actually isn't so bad. You should have seen what the Voyager crew made their ensign wear. Kim, I think his name was."
KASIDY: "I remember. He looked rather fetching in that pink bunny suit."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Kira: "Why do we have to limbo under phaser fire set to kill anyway? One of us could die!"

Dax: "Worf says regular limbo is without honor."

 

[Oddish]

MARTOK: "Just so we're clear, Dax, I want Worf in his uniform and ready for duty at 0800 hours tomorrow. So whatever you two do together, don't injure him too badly."
DAX: "No promises."

QUARK: "Wait a minute... is that a cat I'm hearing out there?"
ROM: Why are you worried, brother? It's just a cat."
QUARK: "It might be. Or it might be Odo."

 

[Captain pl1ngpl0ng]

i cant hold my shape anymore, this contest has been going on for over two years!!!


.

 

[Oddish]

DAX: "I'm looking for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Have you seen them?"
MAN: "They live in New York. All we have here in Miami is giant alligators."

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Dax: "Hello, sweetheart..."
Worf:..."okay. What did you do and how much is it going to cost me?"

 

[Leviathan]

Cardassian Computer: .....EXTERRRRRRMINATE!

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Quark: "Morn, for the hundredth time, if you want to record your podcast here, you gotta pay the studio fee!...Don't look at me like that..."

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Quark: (offscreen) "Welcome to Quark's Wax Museum and Murphy Bed Emporium! Make a friend, buy a bed!"
Odo: "You're pathetic-"
Quark: "Just like the prices you'll find anywhere else!"
Kira: "Goodbye!"

 

[tharpdevenport]

Kira: "I was wrong -- you can't light your farts with phaser fire. That Starfleet Academy Vulcan guy was wrong. Think his name was Tuvok."