@Galactic Alignment
I have two things to say to you and since the banner under my name is green I strongly recommend you read at least the second point. The first has to do with the content of your topic, the other regards the tone.
1) Content:
You have gotten a plethora of helpful answers in this thread. The bottom line is this: Yes, it is possible to learn coding without going to school. In fact, I know a few professionals who make a good living and don't have a degree. A degree helps but it's not everything.
What you do need then is lots of enthusiasm and willingness to put effort into self-teaching. Generally speaking, you will not find people willing to train you for free. This will all be on you. There is no way around that.
The good news is: The very basics of coding are learned easily enough and you can hone your skills working on some projects of your own.
Some codecamps and similar sites also include programs that connect you with others to do specific coding jobs for organizations like non-profits. You will not earn money there, these projects are designed to provide both sides with something they need: practice on real-world application of coding skills for you and a working software for the 'client'.
Here comes the neither-good-nor-bad-news: Since you can't go to school again, the only way to make somebody hire you is to build a set of references, a little virtual box full of stuff you've created. So you can go to an employer and show them the projects you've worked on. This could also just be a particularly well-done github repository of course. Just something that proves you've done coding and know at least the basics. In the end, a lot of coding is learning on the job because no programmer leaves school knowing every programming language or every tool they might later need. In fact, it's not even entirely uncommon for a company to hire somebody who doesn't even know the programming language they want to use for a specific project but she has other skills and knows programming languages well enough to adapt.
The bad news is: This will be very time-consuming and you will spend many hours on it at first that you will not get paid for. No, there is no way around this.
Programming Languages:
Instead of asking people which language to learn and agonizing over why one might not be a great idea: Pick a language to start with, to find out if you even enjoy it. There's a good reason many people suggest Python since it's pretty logical and easy-to-learn. It comes with the added benefit of having a very amazing and rich learning infrastructure online, so you can actually learn it for free relatively easy.
And here's the deal: You will not stop at this language. Depending on what you want to do, you need to branch out anyway. Learning Python alone will only give you a very limited set of skills so you might end up wanting to learn about other stuff like databases (for sure, how aboout SQL?), web design (Ajax? Or starting with basic html and CSS?), mobile app development (Who doesn't love Swift?!
) and many many other topics. This depends entirely on what you actually want to work on. Again, this will involve a lot of self-study.
Quite honestly, there is only so much people can suggest to you on this site. It all boils down to: Pick a language to start with on one of the places people recommended and start learning. Then learn more stuff to see how it can interact with other kinds of systems like databases. Then build stuff you can show to potential employers. They won't hire you based on you saying: "Hi, I've learned this programming language." They want to see how you use it.
2) Tone:
Look at this colorful assortment of savoury tidbits:
Can you not see that your tone is at the very least problematic, adversarial and incendiary?
It's not just that you're being defensive, you're actually being rude.
And now we get to the gem:
That is an ad hominem attack on @Dimesdan. You do not get to do that on this forum and don't expect any patience with shit like this. Hence:
WARNING FOR FLAMING. COMMENTS TO PM.
I have two things to say to you and since the banner under my name is green I strongly recommend you read at least the second point. The first has to do with the content of your topic, the other regards the tone.
1) Content:
You have gotten a plethora of helpful answers in this thread. The bottom line is this: Yes, it is possible to learn coding without going to school. In fact, I know a few professionals who make a good living and don't have a degree. A degree helps but it's not everything.
What you do need then is lots of enthusiasm and willingness to put effort into self-teaching. Generally speaking, you will not find people willing to train you for free. This will all be on you. There is no way around that.
The good news is: The very basics of coding are learned easily enough and you can hone your skills working on some projects of your own.
Some codecamps and similar sites also include programs that connect you with others to do specific coding jobs for organizations like non-profits. You will not earn money there, these projects are designed to provide both sides with something they need: practice on real-world application of coding skills for you and a working software for the 'client'.
Here comes the neither-good-nor-bad-news: Since you can't go to school again, the only way to make somebody hire you is to build a set of references, a little virtual box full of stuff you've created. So you can go to an employer and show them the projects you've worked on. This could also just be a particularly well-done github repository of course. Just something that proves you've done coding and know at least the basics. In the end, a lot of coding is learning on the job because no programmer leaves school knowing every programming language or every tool they might later need. In fact, it's not even entirely uncommon for a company to hire somebody who doesn't even know the programming language they want to use for a specific project but she has other skills and knows programming languages well enough to adapt.
The bad news is: This will be very time-consuming and you will spend many hours on it at first that you will not get paid for. No, there is no way around this.
Programming Languages:
Instead of asking people which language to learn and agonizing over why one might not be a great idea: Pick a language to start with, to find out if you even enjoy it. There's a good reason many people suggest Python since it's pretty logical and easy-to-learn. It comes with the added benefit of having a very amazing and rich learning infrastructure online, so you can actually learn it for free relatively easy.
And here's the deal: You will not stop at this language. Depending on what you want to do, you need to branch out anyway. Learning Python alone will only give you a very limited set of skills so you might end up wanting to learn about other stuff like databases (for sure, how aboout SQL?), web design (Ajax? Or starting with basic html and CSS?), mobile app development (Who doesn't love Swift?!

Quite honestly, there is only so much people can suggest to you on this site. It all boils down to: Pick a language to start with on one of the places people recommended and start learning. Then learn more stuff to see how it can interact with other kinds of systems like databases. Then build stuff you can show to potential employers. They won't hire you based on you saying: "Hi, I've learned this programming language." They want to see how you use it.
2) Tone:
Look at this colorful assortment of savoury tidbits:
No, you didn’t read what I wrote
EXPLAIN.
Please do not bother me any more with your smug bullying.
baiting
BECAUSE I CAN’T AFFORD TO. I AM S TARVING TO DEATH, I DO NOT HAVE TENS OF THOUSANDS OF POUNDS LYING AROUND
Can you not see that your tone is at the very least problematic, adversarial and incendiary?
It's not just that you're being defensive, you're actually being rude.
And now we get to the gem:
You really have the cruelty of a concentration camp guard. My great grandparents were likely murdered by people with your same mindset.
That is an ad hominem attack on @Dimesdan. You do not get to do that on this forum and don't expect any patience with shit like this. Hence:
WARNING FOR FLAMING. COMMENTS TO PM.
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