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Mental Wellness Support Group

Doom Shepherd said:
The Christians believe that God doesn’t accept people driven to suicide. Even when he’s behind the wheel.
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This Christian knows that he doesn't know enough to make that conclusion.

And, despite personal spiritual beliefs, I still struggle with depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts at times. It's not logical or rational but there it is. And I am learning every day how to keep moving, to breathe, and to find strength.

Obsidian7 said:
I had a doctor appointment earlier. I was really nervous about my concerns being heard because there was a lot to discuss. Had to be really concise but thankfully the doctor really understood. They want to book a longer appointment because they think I might have PTSD.

On one hand it's scary but on the other hand it's a relief. Over a 32 month period I was put through the emotional and physical wringer with noisy neighbours and narcissistic abuse from the local authority. Over the last year, it's been hard coping with, and recovering from, certain issues. It's also good to put a name to the symptoms and not feel crazy.
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Congratulations on taking that step.
 
Life can be wonderful but it can also be a struggle at times. Let's focus on the good stuff. Easier said than done, I know from experience but there's no point in giving up, no one wins there.

I like to think, or try to think, that no matter how hard things can get somethimes, there's the possibility that things could get better. Situations are obviously different for all of us but if there's hope, then there's hope. The shitty situation just might get better. Even if someone thinks, OK, this is it, there's no way to know for certain. We don't know what the future might bring. It could be something negative but it could also be something awesome.
 
I was leading a yoga class yesterday for clients and it was a powerfully positive thing to just focus on my own breath. I told them (and myself) that each breath is uniquely our own in that moment. It's a valuable lesson to realize that there is that positive.

Here's one of my favorite songs for dark times:
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Armus said:
Sometimes when you can't imagine things could get worse they do. You think it's the end but you find out that you're stronger than you realized. There are people who have gone through the same challenges so no one should feel alone. No one should suffer alone needlessly.
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A joy shared is a joy doubled
Suffering shared is suffering lessened..

I lived a life of suffering... and I don’t anymore... if a am I share it

Saturday night I was really down from what I usually am... I knew this Saturday night...I had slept all Friday night and all Saturday day... and was getting ready to sleep yet another 12 hours of deep depression.. a friend text me during the brief waking moments.. I said I was down and needed to heal myself... I told her I needed to take a shower and stop sleeping... she supported me.. just then another friend.. with brain trauma calls asking for my support.. I assured him he was fine and not to worry but told him I was in bed and needed to take a shower and heal he was like get up and take a shower..direct command to me simple for him but I had no luck trying to do that on my own all Saturday and probably till Monday... his simple assertion broke me free..I took a shower and then things totally changed. Just like that.. I knew what to do.. told my friend what I needed he just was the person that did it then.. I have had a great mood since..

Yeah when I remember the past when I was homeless or in those state psychiatric isolation rooms that they put cameras in..I can see how far I have come.. it’s the gratitude of not being there I am aware of...

We can believe in ourselves because we are great.. this is something I know.
 
fireproof78 said:
Here's one of my favorite songs for dark times:
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I'm into some metal bands and that kind of music does make me feel better.
Perhaps not just any metal but definately the favourites.

Distorted electric guitar just is so great. :)
Fortunately I can play guitar a little bit. :)
 
I haven't stopped by this thread for a while, so I thought I would give you all an update. Soon after I had my suicidal intentions, I checked myself into the hospital. They sent me to a mental health facility that was actually less than a mile from where I live.

I spent five days there and, believe it or not, I actually have fond memories of the place. My discussions with the counselors were very enlightening and I even unlocked some repressed memories. Being around and getting to know the other patients there, all of whom which were going through similar things, made me realize that I wasn't alone. I mean, people always tell you that "you're not alone", but this was the first time I actually felt it. I even made a few friends. People who know what I'm going through because they've gone through it themselves. We check in which each other by way of text with supporting and encouraging words. We even plan on getting together for lunch one day, but our schedules never seem to mesh.

I have continued to see my therapist, and after I got out of the hospital he said that he could already see the difference. I had more color to my skin (several friends said the same), he said it was the first time he'd ever heard me laugh or speak positively about the future.

I have since found a job, my lack of which was contributing to my anxiety in a huge way. I've also patched things up with my family.

I'm still seeing my therapist, but this week he brought up that perhaps he had done as much as he could for me. He said that even if we stopped meeting regularly, I could always set up an appointment or restart our bi-weekly sessions. I chose to continue our sessions for the time being, with an eye upon going it on my own.

I want to thank everyone here for the support and kind words. The affection I got from my friends after getting out of the hospital was a little overwhelming, as well as reassuring myself that I wasn't as worthless as I thought myself to be.

Peace to you all.
 
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Obsidian7 said:
I had a doctor appointment earlier. I was really nervous about my concerns being heard because there was a lot to discuss. Had to be really concise but thankfully the doctor really understood. They want to book a longer appointment because they think I might have PTSD.
Click to expand...
Welcome to the club :) Sounds a bit crazy but PTSD seems to be among the problems easiest to resolve, once you have the courage to face your fears. I'm still working on it (I had a traumatizing landlady and consequently developed a fear of landlords, janitors, heating bills and everything connected to rented property) but it's really getting better all the time.

Welcome back, @Turtletrekker! I have a colleague who suffers from very bad depressions and frequently spends his annual vacation at the hospital. It really does him good and I'm tempted to try it myself.
What I find very hard is to find the energy to meet with people. Since I had my first depression I have become quite a recluse. How do you cope with that aspect of depression? Do you have any tricks how to cheat yourself into going out and having more social contacts?

I'm glad I never had any suicidal tendencies, regardless of how depressed or scared I was. Maybe I just have an unusually strong survival instinct. But on the whole I think the shittiest life is still a good deal better than the best death.
 
rhubarbodendron said:
Welcome to the club :) Sounds a bit crazy but PTSD seems to be among the problems easiest to resolve, once you have the courage to face your fears. I'm still working on it (I had a traumatizing landlady and consequently developed a fear of landlords, janitors, heating bills and everything connected to rented property) but it's really getting better all the time.

Welcome back, @Turtletrekker! I have a colleague who suffers from very bad depressions and frequently spends his annual vacation at the hospital. It really does him good and I'm tempted to try it myself.
What I find very hard is to find the energy to meet with people. Since I had my first depression I have become quite a recluse. How do you cope with that aspect of depression? Do you have any tricks how to cheat yourself into going out and having more social contacts?

I'm glad I never had any suicidal tendencies, regardless of how depressed or scared I was. Maybe I just have an unusually strong survival instinct. But on the whole I think the shittiest life is still a good deal better than the best death.
Click to expand...

True. It's a case of knowing what your triggers are managing them. A normal life is possible. I used to love certain things, and still do, but enjoy them in moderation.

I can relate to your fear of certain things. I had to adjust my thinking and perception of certain activities.

I felt detached from my home for a while but turned it into a positive. As crazy as it sounds, I can't watch the battle of Wakanda from Avengers: Infinity War. Especially hearing Black Panther's battle cry. Guess the tension, loud noises and aggression reminds me of the incoming noise/stress from my neighbours.

However, I can cope with the intense gameplay of Call Of Duty or enjoy a violent episode of The Witcher. Going to bed is easier now too. Although, sometimes I'll have anxiety and stay up longer for no reason. It's strange how the triggers work.
 
yes indeed. I find herbal remedies helpful: the scent of lavender or in very bad cases a spoonfull of valerian root extract (the latter tastes so horribly that all fears run away! :D ).
I've also noticed that an imbalance in other parts of the metabolism can lead to a malfunction of the nerves and thus trigger anxiety or depression. I have to take 3 pills per day against my diabetes. Occasionally I forget one. If I take only 2 per day for 2 days in a row I get anxiety fits. If I it happens 3 days in a row I get depressions.
(I have an insulin resistance: without my pills the sugar can't get into my cells so that they begin to starve. The starving nerve tissue in the brain freaks out and gives me anxiety to alert me that something is wrong. Well meant but a bit counterproductive as anxiety makes me burn sugar faster and lose my appetite, so that the tissue starves even more. But try explaining that to my brain cells *sigh*...)
 
When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you. - ~African Proverb
___________
Just like this is so darn true
I'm so promoting this state of mind...
 
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