• Welcome! The TrekBBS is the number one place to chat about Star Trek with like-minded fans.
    If you are not already a member then please register an account and join in the discussion!

Bad Trek Jokes, Part II

Have you ever seen those memes on social media? Where there'll be an image of Patrick Stewart and he'll say "Use the force, Harry!" and it'll be signed off as Gandalf? They're jokingly pissing off Star Trek fans, Star Wars fans, Harry Potter fans, and Lord of the Rings fans by combining all four into one.

Same idea here. I just purposely mismatched DS9 with the TOS Movies and Disco. Maybe it works better as a meme. And if it were easier to post pictures, I'd actually put one up!

.
.
.

On another note (showing my age): The Sega Genesis game had some catchy music. Even though all it has is Sisko running around.
Hilarious!!! I have never seen those memes... but I will find them now. That is my plan for the rest of the afternoon, lol
 
Q: What do you call it when that Strategic Operations Officer on DS9 runs as fast as he can? A: Worf Speed.

Q: How many Vulcans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Approximately 1.00000000000000000000000000000000

Q: What do the Klingons do with the dead bulb? A: Execute it for failure.

Q: Have you read the book "Chekov: The Navigator"? A: It's by: I. Kiptin

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Mr. Spock: Obviously, it was the logical thing to do.

A visiting admiral approached Chekov's station on the ENTERPRISE. Thinking he would test the young officer, he asked, "What would you do if the weapons officer suddenly got his head blown off?" "Nothing, sir." "Why nothing?" "Because I'm the weapons officer, sir."
 
Q: What do you call it when that Strategic Operations Officer on DS9 runs as fast as he can? A: Worf Speed.

Q: How many Vulcans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Approximately 1.00000000000000000000000000000000

Q: What do the Klingons do with the dead bulb? A: Execute it for failure.

Q: Have you read the book "Chekov: The Navigator"? A: It's by: I. Kiptin

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Mr. Spock: Obviously, it was the logical thing to do.

A visiting admiral approached Chekov's station on the ENTERPRISE. Thinking he would test the young officer, he asked, "What would you do if the weapons officer suddenly got his head blown off?" "Nothing, sir." "Why nothing?" "Because I'm the weapons officer, sir."

Welcome aboard! Set phasers to Pun.
 
Chekov once said that the Warp engine had been invented by a little old lady in Moscow... In his defense, he was falling drunk that day.
 
LG%20and%20DC%20B_zpssbisrjfw.jpg
 
"Senator Vreenak, why do you keep comparing Into Darkness and The Wrath of Khan?"
"It's a REMAAAAAKE!"

Remember Lieutenant Primmin, the guy Starfleet sent to DS9 to take over security duties from Odo? Sisko unceremoniously had him removed after his habit of never showering had caused the security chief to give him the Odo rant.

When Michael Burnham saw her roommate assimilated by the Borg, she instantly realized that resistance would be futilly.

Seven of nine fans questioned for this article have been pleased with Jeri Ryan's casting in Star Trek: Picard. The other two would have preferred Kate Mulgrew.
 
The Kzinti had captured a Medusan, but since Medusans are energy beings, they had trouble deciding how to eat him. The Kzinti captain had the last word. He said they should use lots of sugar, because, "everyone knows a spoonful of sugar helps the Medusan go down."

Captain Kirk: "Since all of you crewmembers performed so inefficiently today, there'll be no liberty at Starbase Seven."

Voice: "Give me liberty or give me death!"

Kirk: "Who said that?"

Voice: "Patrick Henry."

McCoy: "I've borrowed Mr. Scott's bagpipes."

Kirk: "But you can't play them."

McCoy: "While I've got them, neither can he!"

Harry Mudd was arrested and charged with fraud for selling maps to the Fountain of Youth. When computer records were checked, it was discovered he had been arrested for the same offense in 1716, 1986, 2005, and Stardate 25.8.

Harry Mudd was on trial again.

"Harry," said the judge, "You're accused of throwing your wife, Stella, out of the window. This is a most serious crime."

"But your honor," cried Harry, "be lenient. You've met my wife."

"Yes," answered the judge with a shudder, "and I don't blame you for what you did. But don't you understand-- she could have LANDED on somebody?"

How many Federation shuttles does it take to change a light bulb? None. Shuttlecraft don’t last as long as light bulbs.

How many Guardians of Forever does it take to change a light bulb? Since before your sun burned in space, I have awaited that question.

Q: Why did the Klingon cross the road? A: To conquer the other side.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Mr. Scott: 'Cos ma wee transporter beam was na functioning properly. Ah canna work miracles, Captain.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Mr. Spock: Obviously, it was the logical thing to do.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Computer: Insufficient information.
 
Sometimes I wonder if I'm really as funny as I think I am, but then I come and read you people's jokes and my doubts melt away.
 
The Kzinti had captured a Medusan, but since Medusans are energy beings, they had trouble deciding how to eat him. The Kzinti captain had the last word. He said they should use lots of sugar, because, "everyone knows a spoonful of sugar helps the Medusan go down."

Captain Kirk: "Since all of you crewmembers performed so inefficiently today, there'll be no liberty at Starbase Seven."

Voice: "Give me liberty or give me death!"

Kirk: "Who said that?"

Voice: "Patrick Henry."

McCoy: "I've borrowed Mr. Scott's bagpipes."

Kirk: "But you can't play them."

McCoy: "While I've got them, neither can he!"

Harry Mudd was arrested and charged with fraud for selling maps to the Fountain of Youth. When computer records were checked, it was discovered he had been arrested for the same offense in 1716, 1986, 2005, and Stardate 25.8.

Harry Mudd was on trial again.

"Harry," said the judge, "You're accused of throwing your wife, Stella, out of the window. This is a most serious crime."

"But your honor," cried Harry, "be lenient. You've met my wife."

"Yes," answered the judge with a shudder, "and I don't blame you for what you did. But don't you understand-- she could have LANDED on somebody?"

How many Federation shuttles does it take to change a light bulb? None. Shuttlecraft don’t last as long as light bulbs.

How many Guardians of Forever does it take to change a light bulb? Since before your sun burned in space, I have awaited that question.

Q: Why did the Klingon cross the road? A: To conquer the other side.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Mr. Scott: 'Cos ma wee transporter beam was na functioning properly. Ah canna work miracles, Captain.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Mr. Spock: Obviously, it was the logical thing to do.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Computer: Insufficient information.

It seems to me that some of these jokes from from Trek Magazine about 30 or 40 years ago.
 
If you are not already a member then please register an account and join in the discussion!

Sign up / Register


Back
Top