Sounds like a good plan to take a break. Sometimes one needs to regroup. My experience with direct management is that when there’s a problem they don’t want to rock the boat because they don’t like conflict and tend to see nothing and hear nothing. Talking to HR sounds better. I would go over the direct management’s heads if I were you. They have a responsibility towards their employees and the company needs to act.
I don’t think this manager has much management experience and seems to make it up on the fly, but also won’t accept when they’re wrong. My inability to stand up to this, mostly because of homelife uncertainty, has ended with me on beta blockers and antidepressants. I’m hoping a month or so away from work, the meds, reconnecting with my hobbies, and a long weekend in Scotland will sort me out. So far, I don’t feel any better, Christmas pressure doesn’t help.
Happy new year everyone I made that meme yesterday (complicated new year eve ) and I thought you'd all appreciate it. Feel free to use it ! (I know it misses an O but I don't feel like doing it all over again atm) Also, a diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome is possibly coming ahead for me. I hope for answers. Hoping the best for you, my friend <3 Better days are waiting ahead for you <3
I've lived with anxiety most (if not all) of my life. Depression has played a long part too but thankfully I've channelled it into creative stuff or things that make me really happy. Things aren't perfect but they're better than they were, say, five or six years ago. Around my mid teens I was diagnosed with a rare condition. For a while, it set me apart from my peers until everything balanced out. Although I still felt different even though I looked normal. Plus, I spent years with no support group or person going through the same issues. Basically, there wasn't (and still isn't) a lot of information about the condition. Especially the emotional side. Sometimes, people or situations can get too much and I have to withdraw. On the plus side, there's an online support group which has brought other patients together worldwide. We're all in the same boat but the quality of diagnosis/treatment is different for everyone. Right now, I'm trying to cope with bad anxiety. I've had dreams with a recurring theme, anxiety nightmares and one time hallucinated music which was kinda surreal. To be honest, I've been dealing with stress for the last couple of years. A toxic situation has left me mentally and physically exhausted. At least, more than I can cope with. Mostly it was and still is related to antisocial behaviour and lack of sleep. Originally, things got so bad that I had to leave my home for a month. I was at breaking point and developed facial eczema because of prolonged stress. Thankfully, that situation ended after five months but the cycle continued with another person linked to the original problem. There was an aspect of narcisstic abuse too. That's a whole different chapter. It took me a while to recognise and label that behaviour from people who were supposed to help, but thankfully, I cut off their 'supply' and I'm healing now. Guess that my body and mind is still processing those issues. Things still aren't completely settled but I've fought hard for breathing space. Because... I don't think anyone else wanted that. Over the last two years the eczema has grown worse and I have blepharitis too. I've improved my diet to combat those symptoms but with certain triggers still in place it isn't easy. Sorry for the long post...
Wondering if I'm the only one with such powerful hyper-specialization that I cannot learn something which doesn't interest me ? I've been facing this issue for a very long time, but it seems to be getting worse as time goes. It could be a sign of AS, but I can't know for sure until I get diagnosed. Anyway, as the doors I've been desperately pushing to work in my passion field are all shutting down on me, I struggle to find what else to do with my life...I'm feeling like some useless "Jack of all trades". Interested in many non financially profitable fields. Very qualified in some but with a limited number of diploma. Feeling unable to restart university courses because my brain is blocked by the uninteresting things I'd be supposed to learn to graduate. Feeling like a total waste of brain cells, since I can't fit in the normal and formatted space designed for intelligent people, no matter how hard I try...Lost in that limbo designed for what society would call "low intelligence people", but feeling that I don't belong. 'Oh Life' she cries, 'there must be more'...
Does it count here when you feel your past selves in your psyche waking up? My older elementary school self is awake and being held by my present self. I've had this happen before a couple of years ago when my therapist helped me fully awaken my traumatized four-to-five-year-old self.
Of course it counts. Many mental trauma and disorders can be tracked down until childhood and teenage years. These are important development milestones that can be damaged forever if a trauma occurs. I feel you...I still suffer from the effects of bullying and harassment during highschool.
yes, same here. I don't differentiate between past selves and present self - for me there is only one self that developed over the years - but there are traumata that root in my childhood and still have a considerable effect on my life 5 decades later. As for more recent problems - and this might be a little bit off-topic - have any of you experienced memory loss during menopause (or andropause)? I'm a bit worried since lately I forget things that I used to do automatically. The problem seems to concern only long-term momories (which would exclude Altzheimer). I can't recall the name of a colleague whom I've known for 15 years, I can't remember a standard computer command I used successfully only a minute ago, I forget part of the melody of a song I've been singing for the last 2 days. Is that normal or should I get it checked? Brain cancer runs in my family but I did have a MRT of the brain only 3 months ago due to an infection and that showed no anomalies nor any damage by the infection. Could it possibly be a diabetes related problem? I have an appointment next week for my checkup, and it'd be helpful if I knew what to ask my GP to look for.
I have noticed myself becoming increasingly scatterbrained. I’ve been marking that one down as a symptom of stress though. Stuff like forgetting whether I’ve taken my medicine. Yesterday I forgot I’d put some bacon under the grill.
I can memorize REAMS of the most inconsequential trivia about any subject I find interesting. I am essentially UNABLE to forget anything that strikes my fancy, even in passing. I am a Trivial Pursuit nightmare... IF it pertains to a subject I enjoy. I have given the entire Third Degree in Freemasonry from memory. But things I NEED to know, but don't care about? Like Calculus? Or the names of work acquaintances (as opposed to the people in my department with whom I interact daily?) Not a chance. Not the most useful of skills, is it?
LOL indeed. I've always been able to instantly memorize individual animals or plants and I hardly ever forget a scientific name. But recalling faces or names of classmates or colleagues? Takes me years! And the most anoying memory fail of all: when one writes a shopping list so as to not forget anything and then one forgets the darned list at home.
Every memory I have, and can recall, is in the near present tense. There is no separation, no hierarchy of memories ranging from old to new, they're just all here together. I remember having a salad the day before in the same way I remember singing for our state governor, which was in 1990, or remembering first reading the backs of record albums in 1983.