Meanwhile, on Cloud City, LUKE SKYWALKER JUNIOR is in a fancy hotel suite with a bunch of hot naked alien babes, using his lightsaber to open a bottle of champagne.
[NOTE: Luke Skywalker Junior could be played by me. I mean, it doesn’t have to be me, but I think you’re gonna be really impressed by the demo reel I shot in my garage.]
NAMELESS BABE #1: We’re so happy you saved us from those bounty hunters, Luke Skywalker Junior.
NAMELESS BABE #2: Seeing you kill all those bounty hunters with your lightsaber made us so horny… for sex.
JUNIOR picks his up lightsaber.
JUNIOR: Well, let me… turn it back on.
JUNIOR is ready to have sex with the babes again. Suddenly a bounty hunter flies through the window on a jetpack. Oh shit! It’s BOBA FETT! He didn’t die in the Sarlacc pit after all!
Boba Fett fires a bunch of lasers. Junior blocks them all with his lightsaber. Boba Fett stops shooting and lands on the ground.
BOBA FETT: Finally, a Jedi who is as badass as I am. I could kill you… but I think the galaxy is a little more interesting with you around.
Boba Fett gives a thumbs-up.
BOBA FETT: See you in the spinoff, kid. [jetpacks away]