Tell me some mundane story about your life or anything.

I think I might be the only person who say I once ran over someone. I was down with my Dad for the Summer and he is basically rich and owned lots of open land. He had both his business and home at the same place and tons of space in-between his business buildings and his home. Anyways he and my Stepmom owned 4-wheelers and I was out driving one around and I was pretty young at the time so I wasn't very responsible and wasn't paying attention and accually drove over my little brother who was playing in the sand and I didn't see him.

I know I went into instant shock. I stoped the vehicle and went inside while my Dad and step mom went to check on him. It was basically a miracle that happened. They way he went under was in such a away that the wheels didn't go over him and he just sort of slide underneath. I remember just sitting inside looking at those speak and spell toys or whatever they were called and trying not to cry but soon as they came in I burts into tears even though I already knew he was okay.

Jason

 

Oh, they know when they do something wrong. They just don't care. Of course when I get angry I also start working under the theory that everyone from God to the slow driver is doing these bad things just to screw, me over! Also doesn't quickly wishing them to "Go to Hell" count as enough of a comeback? Must I add sound effects to my anger as well.

Jason

 

^^ Using your horn to tell another driver "Fuck you" is rude. A safe and conscientious driver uses his horn to warn other drivers of something they may not be aware of -- like that they're about to back into you in a parking lot. Surely that situation has happened to you once or twice?

 

It seems to me the near misses happen so fast that many times you don't have time to react. I know when I was once hit by a drunk driver who ran a stop sign that was I saw him coming and was sort of torn about whether I should speed up or slow down. I think I went faster and he ended up hitting the backend of my truck and it spun around in a circle and hoped a curb. That guy ended up driving off.

Of course this when I was a bulk carrier and back then you couldn't not show up for work unless you had a replacement. So the cops showed up. They found the drunk driver in a nearby residence where he lived and was trying to cover up his car with a tarp. My truck somehow still ran even though it was very loose in the backend. It kind of swayed but me and my sister after being about 2 hours late showed up for work and did the route in a broken vehicle and then she went to the hospital to get checked out for a concussion. She I think hit the dahboard. I sort of pushed against the sterring wheel and recalled my head hitting the top of the roof but I wasn't as bad off. I've always had a thick head. Between this and the basketball and hitting my head on a couch and someone hitting me on the head with a Tennis racket I have always sort of just bounced away from those things without any problems.

Jason

 

You know I think something like that also happened to me or someone in my family. It's weird how a story like this feels so familiar but I can't recall the details. Makes me think about the latest X-Files episode, dealing with people's false or miss-remembered memories.

Jason

 

Late one night in college some friends and I were walking back to our dorms after a cast party. Now my college theater group, back in the day, had cast parties that were so epic that fraternity brothers tried to crash them. That being the case, we were fairly well-flown by the time we left. The cemetery wasn't exactly en route, but it wasn't exactly off it either, so through the cemetery we went. One of the grave markers had a particularly ugly styrofoam wreath in front of it, bearing the word "Mom." Dave stopped before this wreath, declaimed (theater people, remember?) for a moment on how ugly it was, and with the immortal phrase, "Bye Mom!", punted it about 15 yards away. Muff and I laughed so hard we could hardly breathe.

 

I prefer cappuccino over any other coffee, and the only time I drink coffee after noon is during the annual goose dinner in the beginning of November, and then it's espresso. Not even a RPG can entice me to sip some Java in the afternoon or evening. When I lived in London and worked with an Algerian who ran the beverage station, I learned that coffee should be very strong and sweet. His coffee skillz was a life saver in Tea Hell. Also, I don't drink coffee in Germany, and I would never order cappuccino in France. German establishments make some seriously tea-like coffee, and in France they'll whip cream and plop it in your coffee and call it cappuccino. Fuck no, that's NOT cappuccino.

 

We were on holiday in British Columbia and decided to go fishing. We all went off to the creek (me under protest, since fishing isn't my favorite activity).

After awhile we suddenly heard honking from where we'd left the van. My grandparents were puzzled as to what was going on because all of us were present and accounted for.

When we got back to the van, we discovered that the dog (picture a brown and white beagle - named Snoopy, of course) had apparently decided he'd been alone long enough and wanted to let us know that. He'd placed both front paws on the horn and kept it up until we got back.


Another thing about honking... it's been many years since I've gone shopping downtown on a Saturday, so I haven't really noticed... is it still the custom for newlyweds and the wedding party to drive around town, honking the horn? A few decades ago it was a usual weekend thing to see cars decorated with flowers driving around town, horns honking, in a "look at us, we just got married!" attention-seeking thing.

I managed that with a badminton racquet once. It was more embarrassing than painful.

 

As a kid when I was still young enough to be pushed in grocery basket at the grocery store I would sometimes open the dog food we would get for our dog and eat it.

In high school when I was on the basketball team we were on a road trip and spent the night in a hotel. Somehow the toilet got clogged in the room I was staying in and also after I used it and we skipped out without notifying the hotel. I was really embarassed though in retrospect I am not sure what I could have done, differently. I used a plunger and everything to try and stop it but it didn't work.

Jason

 

Going by that, one assumes you can't.

 

When I was 16, I bought some hairspray -- Aquanet (this is the '90s, what else would I get?) -- and I was hanging out with a friend who's the type of kid your parents don't want you hanging out with.

So, he had his cigarette lighter with him, and we used hairspray to flare up some fire. Got some pretty good flames going.

Ouch!

 

My junior year of high school I had an 89-yard TD run called back because of an illegal shift penalty on my best friend (still to this day).

To add insult to injury, on the next play, they called a play that faked to me and gave the ball to my teammate, who fumbled and the ball was recovered by our opponent. The fake was so good that the stadium PA announcer thought I had the ball and therefore announced me as the culprit, so fans (classmates mostly) believed I had coughed it up .

 

I love going to any of my local grocery stores and buying their generic-brand stuff. Part of the reason is admittedly because they are cheaper, but it's probably due mostly to having never developed that strong of a loyalty to brand-name stuff as a kid. Yes, you sometimes get what you pay for, but I've found many generic stuff just as good as the brand-name stuff and often at half the price.

 

I remember when there was VERY generic stuff. When I was in junior high I'd walk into grocery stores and see these plain white packages with weird sans-serif lettering that said things like BEER, CEREAL, BREAD, etc.

Even the books were like that. There'd be these thin paperback novellas that said SCIENCE FICTION, WESTERN, ROMANCE, etc.

Ah, those were the days....

 

I remember the gallon jugs in supermarkets labeled - with big yellow stickers - RUM, VODKA, WHISKEY, etc.
In high school, during the summers, we'd boost a couple with elaborate schemes, and go drink them out in the county park, hidden away from casual observance. The next day usually consisted of

Yes, those were the days...

 

George Carlin said it best:

Anyone driving slower than you is an idiot.
Anyone driving FASTER than you is a MANIAC!!!!

 

One time I really wanted some pizza from Mellow Mushroom, so I drove over to Somerset and missed the turn, so I had to go to the next light and make a u-ie

Another time I was driving on I-75 and realized my speed was exceeding 95 mph, so I let off the accelerator a bit to normalize my speed

 

I nominate this one THE WINNER!! Of the most matching the thread title anecdote

 

So i met this girl....
I woke up the next morning, Nikki wasn't there.
I looked all over and all I found was a phone number on the stairs.
It said thank you for a funky time,
call me up whenever you want to grind.