Greskrendtregk. Copy and paste is your friend.
Where is it said in the shows or movies that prime universe McCoy had a wife?
That's a tricky issue for which there is no clear-cut answer. The ex-wife, painful divorce, and estranged daughter were always meant to be part of McCoy's backstory from Day One, per Gene Roddenberry and D.C. Fontana, but, yes, they never actually made it onscreen in the Prime Universe. So the new movies picked up on a "fact" that had been floating around for decades before making it "official."
Same with Uhura's first name being "Nyota," which had been used for decades in the books and comics and such, but didn't become "canon" until the 2009 movie.
Nowadays, even photos and merchandise based on Nichelle Nichols are labeled "Nyota Uhura," which amuses me.