What you are describing as "heavy-handed" is having the writer's having to show the characters are LGBTQ+ as not being straight. This because for most people, a person is just assumed to be straight and cisgendered by default.I understand; it's difficult to accurately have such discussions outside of verbal discussions. I am not doing a great job at conveying my feelings on this topic. I apologize for that. I am personally good with all of those lifestyles. Where I get annoyed is in television portrayals, where I feel the writers are heavy handed with their approach to introducing this types of character traits. I don't know how to explain other than liken it to when the writers do the same thing with issues such as climate change, gun control, race relations, and other similar, polarizing issues.
Given that they are human beings and not the subjects of debates (or at least they shouldn't be), I would hope so.There is a way to acknowledge all of these things in story, whether it be a belief in global warming/cooling, guns saves lives/guns take lives, someone is gay, lesbian, transgender, heterosexual, etc tastefully and with some level of respect.
That's because you assume that everyone is straight and cisgendered by default, it's a bias and one that all of us have due to how we were raised. Even when I see a character, I just automatically assume they're straight because that's what I usually see.The way I don't like to see it done, and where I feel some of my other examples have fallen into the habit, is when a character that perhaps we've known for 2, 3 or more seasons "suddenly" is presented as <insert variable here> without any lead up or prior implication, particularly when it is out of line with how that character has behaved or been described in the past. It's like a hard left turn... you don't care that you've made a course correction, but it's jarring when it comes about unexpectedly. When it does come about, whether it be making a character homosexual, transgender, whatever - the writers/producers then seem to feel it is necessary to remind you about every chance they get, anytime the character is on screen, and then dedicate half of an episode about it. I don't want to see half an episode dedicated to "more traditional" gender roles, relationships, either.
Plus people in real life can just come out. No one is born automatically saying they're gay or trans, it can take years to accept. Part of this is due to society just assuming that everyone is straight and cisgendered by default. This happens to LGBTQ+, we can just think we're like the majority because everyone else is that way and we rarely see people like ourselves on television. I'm trans and the only representation I saw growing up were people being mocked on the Jerry Springer show and the punchlines to jokes. I didn't see a person like me (who wasn't a joke, hooker, criminal or victim) until I was nearly 30. I'm assuming you're straight and cisgendered given your reactions to this, so you've had representation your entire life. You take it for granted, so anything different seems "off" to you.
That's a good thing. We need to grow as a society because the old way is killing people.While I personally am more accepting, it is difficult at times to adjust to what is becoming a "new normal" in society. The assumptions we could make about people, characters, and tv even 10 or 15 years ago, which would have been a safe bet, aren't so anymore.
Accepting them as normal includes not erasing them. LGBTQ+ have different struggles and experiences than you and these need to be shown in entertainment, just like your struggles and experiences have been shown since entertainment began. Showing that is not isolating anyone, LGBTQ+ people are already isolated because they aren't being shown. Nearly all of us are raised by straight and cisgendered parents with straight and cisgendered siblings, cousins and friends. All the shows we see are about straight and cisgendered people. Even at an early age, we know we're somehow different, so we think something is wrong with us. But if we see someone like us, being treated as an equal and accepted, then we know what we are and that it's perfectly normal. Saying that "we're all the same" and that's why we shouldn't tell LGBTQ+ stories is erasing us. You can't just have a gay character acting exactly like a straight character, not having any romantic experiences. That's just having someone wear a shirt saying they're gay but otherwise is just like the straight people.Again, I know I haven't done an amazing job explaining myself here; and I don't intend to be insensitive (quite the opposite) nor to offend anyone. But I feel about these issues as presenting in entertainment the same as I do in real life about things like race: If we are to accept each other for who we are, blind to ethic race, blind to gender identity, and to accept it as completely normal (as we should), then it needs less talking about, not more. The more we point out just how different we are, the more isolated and separate we become. This is not the same as refusing to discuss inequality or discrimination in any form; those are wrong and need to be corrected.
Except that you aren't seeing your own bias. You seem to want LGBTQ+ characters as window dressing and nothing else. For me seeing straight and cisgendered people being straight and cisgendered is shoving it down my throat because I can't relate to that experience. I don't know what it's like to just accept the gender I was born with. LGBTQ+ people stories to tell and they are equally valid and deserve to be told. Maybe if you're exposed to more of them, you might actually begin to understand us better. That's not going to happen by just having LGBTQ+ people acting like "everyone else", that's erasing our identities and lives to make you more comfortable.We can acknowledge that someone is a certain way, feels a certain way, loves a certain way, but we don't need to be reminded after every commercial break. At some point, you yell at the tv screen saying "OK! I get it! She likes girls/He likes other guys! Can we please move on?! " So that's where I'm at. The "shove it down our throats" part is where the writers and producers keep bringing it up as if to condition us to it as being normal, which feels abnormal. It would be more natural and feel as if it's truly a part of a character if it's stated or demonstrated and then treat it as we have always treated anything else on tv, with regards to gender, sex, relationships and personal identities.