Flirting

[Gryffindorian]

Let me preface this post by saying I have zero skills when it comes to romantic interactions and relationships.

How can you tell if someone is flirting with you? I realize some people like to give compliments to others ('Nice hair,' 'I like your shirt'), but that doesn't necessarily mean they're flirting. If they are flirting, do you flirt back?

One time there was a café barista (same sex as I am) who was very friendly with me. He asked how my day was, and we exchanged pleasantries. I asked him to check the balance on my gift card; he said, "Sure. I'll even gladly pay for your drink." I thanked him and told him how thoughtful he was. In retrospect, I could have said something like "You're cute!" but didn't want to come off as creepy.

What say you?

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

HE was definitely flirting with you if he paid for your drink.

 

[Locutus of Bored]

When you say he paid for your drink, do you mean he said it jokingly while swiping your gift card to pay for it, or that he paid for it himself out of pocket? Because while I'm leaning toward it being flirting, either way, it could just be witty banter to pass the time if he used your gift card to pay. But if he paid for your drink with his own money, yeah, he was definitely hitting on you.

I think you would have been fine telling him he was cute in that situation since he was already either playfully joking around with you or buying you a drink. I don't see any reason why it would come off as creepy to an adult male who's already engaged you in friendly conversation.

 

[Amaris]

Without context, it's difficult to say for most examples, but yeah, that bartender was flirting with you. I flirt with everyone, everywhere, all of the time. Often, I do it without even realizing it.

It can be difficult to discern whether someone is flirting with you, or just being polite. I've always found that short, simple polite phrases usually indicate a lack of flirting, but again, it's all about context, tone, body language, so many things to read, and misread, when trying to divine someone's intent.

 

[Gryffindorian]

Sorry, I think what he said was, "I would gladly pay for your drink." I did have enough balance on my card, so I used it to make a payment. No barista had offered that to me before.

 

[Guy Gardener]

When a Predator is wounded mortally, they activate an atomic bomb to cleanse the area so that no one knows that they are a loser who got pwned, or how well they got pwned by tribal ####s in grass skirts.

If you are willing to never go into that coffee shop ever again, it's not bravery to ask this boy out for a drink and maybe dinner, and if you ask and he stays "no" and you refuse to not stop going to that coffee house, well then son, you got some serious stones.

Flirting is like the %1 of the iceberg bobbing out of the water wanting to since the Titanic.

Most people want to flirt, but they're wussies, and they don't want to have to set off a nuke every time they're rejected, but they are always looking and calculating possibilities.

Besides even if he doesn't like you like that yet, only an idiot turns down a steak dinner, and in the time it takes him to eat that prime ribeye, that is the time you have to make your case for why you are awesome.

Attraction and attractiveness is cheating and the easy way out... Or in?

Just because they think you're pretty it's no reason to think that this is a good match.

If a bad conversation can exclude a pretty person from a certain lay, then a good conversation can award a less attractive person with a night of nookie.

Which is 15 steps ahead of where you are at.

I'm also wondering if he's allowed to hit on/date customers?

Was he risking a severance package to tell you that he thinks you're hot?

Although, if his income is reliant on tips, maybe he flirts with everyone?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

I don't know if anyone's ever flirted with me. I am pathologically incapable of noticing such things. I wouldn't even know where to start.

Hell, somebody could walk right up to me with a megaphone and yell "I'M FLIRTING WITH YOU!!!!!" and I wouldn't pick up on it.

 

[hux]

I just assume everyone is flirting with me. They usually are. They're only human.

People like kissing and touching and stroking and licking. Always have, always will. You should have raised an eyebrow and said in your best Roger Moore voice... "I like my coffee like my men... hot, sweet and with a big penis that bends to the left."

Unless it was Starbucks, in which case you should have thrown your coffee at the wall and shouted... "pay your fucking tax."

 

[Guy Gardener]

Never put your penis in a full cup of coffee.

Displacement is a bitch, and even if you think it's fine and cooled down to room temperature, some times it hasn't cooled down, and it's not fine.

 

[MacLeod]

As with many things some people are better at flirting than others and picking up those signals. Of course one solution would be to get straight to the point with something like.

Hi, I think you're cute would, we should get to know each other.

 

[Guy Gardener]

Some people chose a speed they want to press into a relationship, and then panic if there's a strange foot on the accelerator.

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"Ray, next time someone asks you if you are a god, you say YES!"

"Harry, next time some asks you if you want to copulate, you say YES!"

 

[hux]

Never put your penis in a full cup of coffee.

Displacement is a bitch, and even if you think it's fine and cooled down to room temperature, some times it hasn't cooled down, and it's not fine.

Once again, I avoid a burnt penis because of you.

What is this... like the sixth time.

I got the number of a Starbucks work-monkey by asking her for a raktajino. Fortunately, she got the reference so sexy Trek-themed flirting followed.

 

[Amaris]

I don't know if anyone's ever flirted with me. I am pathologically incapable of noticing such things. I wouldn't even know where to start.

Hell, somebody could walk right up to me with a megaphone and yell "I'M FLIRTING WITH YOU!!!!!" and I wouldn't pick up on it.

Indeed. Sometimes I'm quite perceptive, and pick up on signals right away. Other times, I am utterly oblivious. Often it has something to do with how well I know the person. If it is a friend, then his or her flirting may be interpreted as silly fun by my senses, rather than if a stranger were to flirt I would pick it up right away.

That said, while I flirt almost constantly, I am fiercely loyal. So while I may joke and poke and play around with my words, my heart may belong to someone else and that won't budge.

 

[Bry_Sinclair]

Let me preface this post by saying I have zero skills when it comes to romantic interactions and relationships.

I'm in the same boat! I'm fairly shy in person and even worse when given complements, much less even think of giving them back to someone.

Never had a boyfriend/partner either as I've only ever had feelings like that for one guy and he's already taken, so forever stuck in the "friend zone". Life well and truly is a bitch at times

 

[Guy Gardener]

The complete saying you just used is "life's a bitch, and then you marry one".

Isn't it odd how the world has turned so up side down that that formerly t-shirt worthy antiquated hatespeach has become a beacon of hope for the future?

 

[RoJoHen]

People flirt with me all the time, and I usually just find it annoying.

 

[Kemaiku]

Huh, that depends. Did Starbucks stop asking for customers names generally last year?

 

[RoJoHen]

Huh, that depends. Did Starbucks stop asking for customers names generally last year?

I know this is supposedly a thing that Starbucks does, but I have never actually had it happen. I've been to many a Starbucks in my life, and they have never asked me for my name.

 

[Kemaiku]

They stopped asking for mine about a year ago. Until this one when one person in particular went out of their way to ask. I'm clueless about these things so...ugh.

 

[hux]

I love being asked for my name at Starbucks. It gives me an opportunity to role play.

Sir Cuthbert Longfellow has a great back story.