TWOK "I'm delighted, any chance to go aboard the Enterprise..."

[Maurice]

Actually, the dialog as it appears in the workprint is a bit different than the draft I quoted previously

SULU
I am delighted; any chance to go
aboard Enterprise, however briefly,
is always an excuse for nostalgia.

KIRK
Hmmm. Spock as captain you don't
think I"m going to turn anything up
do you? By the end of the month,
you'll have your own command:
the USS EXCELSIOR.

BONES
Oh? Congratulations, Commander!

SULU
Thank you, sir. I've been looking
forward to that for a long time.

KIRK
Well, I for one am glad to have
you at the helm for three weeks.
I don't think these kids can steer.​

 

[Dukhat]

KIRK
Hmmm. Spock as captain you don't
think I"m going to turn anything up
Do you? By the end of the month,
you'll have your own command:
the USS EXCELSIOR.​

​

Jeez, no wonder the scene was cut. What horrible dialogue.

 

[Shikarnov]

KIRK
Hmmm. Spock as captain you don't
think I"m going to turn anything up
Do you? By the end of the month,
you'll have your own command:
the USS EXCELSIOR.​

​

Jeez, no wonder the scene was cut. What horrible dialogue.

Yeah, no kidding... WTH does "Spock as captain you don't think I'm going to turn anything up do you?" even mean?

 

[ozzfloyd]

KIRK
Hmmm. Spock as captain you don't
think I"m going to turn anything up
Do you? By the end of the month,
you'll have your own command:
the USS EXCELSIOR.​

​

Jeez, no wonder the scene was cut. What horrible dialogue.

Yeah, no kidding... WTH does "Spock as captain you don't think I'm going to turn anything up do you?" even mean?

He's doing an inspection. He is simply stating that it's unlikely he finds any problems...cause Spock.

 

[Harvey]

Kirk is talking about the impending inspection, but the dialogue is pretty rough. I suppose it's really no surprise that the scene was pared down.

 

[Dukhat]

​

Jeez, no wonder the scene was cut. What horrible dialogue.

Yeah, no kidding... WTH does "Spock as captain you don't think I'm going to turn anything up do you?" even mean?

He's doing an inspection. He is simply stating that it's unlikely he finds any problems...cause Spock.

Oh, I understood the gist of what he was saying. That isn't the problem. The problems are the extremely poor grammar and the fact that there's absolutely zero segue between the first sentence about the inspection and the second sentence about Sulu's command. The line just pops up out of nowhere.

 

[Shikarnov]

​

Jeez, no wonder the scene was cut. What horrible dialogue.

Yeah, no kidding... WTH does "Spock as captain you don't think I'm going to turn anything up do you?" even mean?

He's doing an inspection. He is simply stating that it's unlikely he finds any problems...cause Spock.

Well, I guess that makes sense. But that's some bad writing, going from one topic to the next without even a beat in between.

 

[ozzfloyd]

Oh, it's totally written shitty. ;-)

 

[Maurice]

Or there was an edit and they cut a line.

 

[Firebird]

From Harvey's notes on the workprint, I was able to piece together a more-or-less complete cutting continuity of said workprint late last year. The nonsensical line in question flows much better, based on what I've gathered (pages 25-25A): https://www.scribd.com/doc/246301267/Star-Trek-II-Footage-Rundown-Workprint

What's supposed to happen is a quick cut to the travel pod approaching the Enterprise in the middle of Kirk's line, right before he mentions Sulu getting the Excelsior.

 

[Maurice]

From Harvey's notes on the workprint, I was able to piece together a more-or-less complete cutting continuity of said workprint late last year. The nonsensical line in question flows much better, based on what I've gathered (pages 25-25A): https://www.scribd.com/doc/246301267/Star-Trek-II-Footage-Rundown-Workprint

What's supposed to happen is a quick cut to the travel pod approaching the Enterprise in the middle of Kirk's line, right before he mentions Sulu getting the Excelsior.

Oh, yes, you're correct. I made a mistake typing that. There should be gap indicated where you indicate.

SULU
I am delighted; any chance to go
aboard Enterprise, however briefly,
is always an excuse for nostalgia.

KIRK
Hmmm. Spock as captain you don't
think I"m going to turn anything up
do you?​

EXT. STOCK SHOT

KIRK
By the end of the month,
you'll have your own command:
the USS EXCELSIOR.

BONES
Oh? Congratulations, Commander!

SULU
Thank you, sir. I've been looking
forward to that for a long time.

KIRK
Well, I for one am glad to have
you at the helm for three weeks.
I don't think these kids can steer.​

 

[FormerLurker]

It would have worked to have Sulu meant to be the new commander of the big bad transwarp ship, only to have him stripped of that post because of the mess Khan made. Would have made for an interesting character advance for him. And if nothing else changes, he eventually gets the command we all knew was coming to him, and think the beginning of ST:VI is that much more cool.

 

[Dukhat]

It would have worked to have Sulu meant to be the new commander of the big bad transwarp ship, only to have him stripped of that post because of the mess Khan made.

Again, I'd point out that at this early stage, the ship mentioned in this scene was not supposed to be the transwarp prototype supership, but just another random ship Sulu was going to command.

I like to think that the Excelsior seen in STID was an homage to this particular ship (i.e. that was the ship Sulu would have commanded from this cut TWOK scene.)

 

[Shikarnov]

It would have worked to have Sulu meant to be the new commander of the big bad transwarp ship, only to have him stripped of that post because of the mess Khan made.

Again, I'd point out that at this early stage, the ship mentioned in this scene was not supposed to be the transwarp prototype supership, but just another random ship Sulu was going to command.

I like to think that the Excelsior seen in STID was an homage to this particular ship (i.e. that was the ship Sulu would have commanded from this cut TWOK scene.)

Do we have any information that says at what point they decided on the Excelsior? I recall some comics that took place between STII and STIII that featured Admiral Kirk, his command crew - including Lt. Saavik (but without Captain Spock) serving on board the USS Excelsior.

So at some point, significantly earlier than we saw on screen -- even before Spock's resurrection was conceived -- the Excelsior was designed, named, and even shared with licensees producing Star Trek material.

Assuming my memory isn't faulty (which may be the case since we're talking comics from 30 years ago) it makes me wonder how much of a throw-away line that really was.

 

[Dukhat]

Do we have any information that says at what point they decided on the Excelsior? I recall some comics that took place between STII and STIII that featured Admiral Kirk, his command crew - including Lt. Saavik (but without Captain Spock) serving on board the USS Excelsior.

Those comics to which you are referring actually take place between STIII and STIV (with Spock in command of the U.S.S. Surak), which required them to revamp at the last minute, since they were unaware that STIV was going to take place back-to-back with STIII.

 

[Shikarnov]

^ I stand corrected

OT: That's an interesting turn of events. Steal a ship, disobey orders, destroy the stolen ship, and then get command of the newest ship of the line. How'd that come about?

(I need to find a copy of these old comics, I think...)

 

[eyeresist]

Meyer's admitted that he'd make Shatner do lots of takes to tire him out and get him to shake some of his more theatrical flourishes. After a while, Shatner would get tired or bored, stop "acting" and just start being. That's why Shatner is at his most naturalistic in Meyer's TWOK and TUC and rather hammy when he was directing himself in TFF.

Shatner was very good in the "I need my pain" sequence, the God Planet, and the concluding "Maybe God is right here, in the human heart" scene. Problem was, the rest of the movie was delivered as comedy, even the dramatic scenes.

 

[Amasov]

Oh, there's more. It was edited out.

SULU
(embarrassed)
I am delighted; any chance to go
aboard Enterprise, however briefly,
is always an excuse for nostalgia.

KIRK
I cut your new orders personally. By
the end of the month, you'll have your
first command: USS EXCELSIOR.

SULU
Thank you, sir. I've looked
forward to this for a long time.

KIRK
You've earned it. But I'm still
grateful to have you at the helm
for three weeks. I don't believe
these kids can steer.​

Now, George Takei claims Shatner deliberately "sabataage"d the scene, but I have the audio from the workprint—which includes this exchange—and Shatner's line delivery is fine.

I'd wondered about that. I always notice Sulu has more lines after he says "Enterprise," but the scene quickly cuts.

 

[Amasov]

Now, George Takei claims Shatner deliberately "sabataage"d the scene, but I have the audio from the workprint—which includes this exchange—and Shatner's line delivery is fine

Is this audio clip something that can be shared? I'm genuinely curious to hear it.

[yt]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VM7PE_trf4[/yt]

Go to 8:20. George mentions it in detail.

 

[Maurice]

Now, George Takei claims Shatner deliberately "sabataage"d the scene, but I have the audio from the workprint—which includes this exchange—and Shatner's line delivery is fine

Is this audio clip something that can be shared? I'm genuinely curious to hear it.

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Go to 8:20. George mentions it in detail.

Shatner is playing the Kirk he's playing throughout the first part of the film: he's unhappy, low-key, possibly even jealous that Sulu is getting a command. But here's the thing about that George clip: if this anecdote is at all true, notice how he goes to the director instead of pulling Bill aside and saying, "Hey, Bill, I don't feel like I'm getting something I can play off, here. Can you tell me what angle you're trying to play so I can get in sync with it, or counterpoint it?" But, nah, that would be too grown up.