They should have had a toilet bomb like in Lethal Weapon, then we'd finally have proof they exist in the future.
Star Trek: Renegades
- Thread starter Danlav05
- Start date
A
Amaris
Guest
Now I have this image of Admiral Tuvok sitting on a commode, talking about how he's took old for this shit, with a crazy, wild eyed Chekov off to the side trying to help him jump off the pot before it explodes.
If this had happened in the movie, I would have paid $60 for it.Now I have this image of Admiral Tuvok sitting on a commode, talking about how he's took old for this shit, with a crazy, wild eyed Chekov off to the side trying to help him jump off the pot before it explodes.
If it kills me: Star Trek v Transformers! Total Money Grab!!! 
Now I have this image of Admiral Tuvok sitting on a commode, talking about how he's took old for this shit, with a crazy, wild eyed Chekov off to the side trying to help him jump off the pot before it explodes.
But... Is it that Tuvok is too old for this shit, or is that MAN, HE AIN'T FOUND SHIT?
Continuing the scene-by-scene rewatch. I figure I'll keep going with this as long as I'm finding it illuminating.
Reactions to prior scenes:
Thumbs:
Thumbs:
Thumbs: hooked in belt-loop while chewing Siphonian hunt-weed.
Thumbs:
Thumbs:
And now...
Thumbs:
Thumbs:
Thumbs: down, but from a smiley Obama.
Thumbs: not even the thumbs are interested.
Thumbs:
... and that's it for now.
Reactions to prior scenes:
Opening Sequence: music not bad. Attractive female, check. Impassioned voiceover, check. (One of the things I liked most in Renegades was the use of the "Invictus" poem as a through-line for Lexxa's character. Whoever had that idea? Solid. Give that man an Orion slave-girl, except don't assume it's a man or that Orion slave-girls are an appropriate medium of exchange, because what in a bucket of bolts is wrong with you?) Levels a bit off on the voice track vs. the music there. Do I know who this is, why their... apparent prison cell is so spacious, or why they're writing on the wall in chalk? Nope. Do I care? Nope. Do I want to know more? Please, it's Adrienne Wilkinson. YES I want to know more.
Thumbs:
Okay, incredibly cheap-looking effects wise, can't lie -- that flame effect is curiously reminiscent of the glory days of the Video Toaster -- but in a charming B-movie sort of way. Fairly generic hunter-warrior species? Check. The troubled father-son pair behind that make-up are chewing the heck out of whatever scenery they can get near, I'm digging that. And then, a mysterious obelisk! And then, BZZZAAMM! One of Our Planets Is Missing! I can dig it.
Thumbs:
Lieutenant Masaru's got that Vulcan precision down. "Someone or something." Nice work, Lieutenant! Chekhov appears, looking severely in need of a nap, and orders the computer into "shadow mode," which apparently is an "added drama" subroutine. He and an inexplicably-shadowed Tuvok -- maybe shadow mode throws shade on Vulcans? -- have a conversation about how the Federation is facing a situation in which planets are missing and the events of the TNG "Conspiracy" storyline are playing out simultaneously. Chilling indeed.
And of course the Council will do nothing, because... well, honestly I would mock this, but then I remember the past decade in Congress and it's like, "oh yeah." And then Tuvok walks out of the shadows in a sudden shakey-cam shot that's at an angle and that seems to be telling me this is Dramatic As Heck, and he says "I know of such a crew" and I ain't lying, it's damned good to see you again, Tim Russ, you were the only part of Voyager I consistently liked, so okay.
And of course the Council will do nothing, because... well, honestly I would mock this, but then I remember the past decade in Congress and it's like, "oh yeah." And then Tuvok walks out of the shadows in a sudden shakey-cam shot that's at an angle and that seems to be telling me this is Dramatic As Heck, and he says "I know of such a crew" and I ain't lying, it's damned good to see you again, Tim Russ, you were the only part of Voyager I consistently liked, so okay.
Thumbs: hooked in belt-loop while chewing Siphonian hunt-weed.
I must immediately apologize for that "nap" crack about Koenig because goddamn, look at that Asian guy at helm. I swear to Christ there are shots where he has literally nodded off.
Anyway, Captain Alvarez of the U.S.S. Archer seems a peppy, gettin'-things-done sort of fellow, like him already. Also, best use of the word "pulchritudinous" since Laurence Olivier last macked on a passing lady at Happy Hour. The Icarus crew, meanwhile -- who are So Frakking Ragtag that their costumes all came from shows of totally different genres and time periods -- are resourceful but struggling under the leadership of some jagoff wearing almost exactly the same Eighties Glam-rock Wig as that Baran guy in the TNG episode where Picard went undercover as a smuggler.
They do however have a massively powerful ship which they presumably stole at some point. Is there backstory there? Presumably? Do I want to know? Nope. Good call Renegades. Pretty sweet space battle ensues, Icarus escapes and steals the cargo, Captain Alvarez curses "Bucket of bolts!" like he just finished watching an episode of Middle-Man, and we learn that "Lexxa" would never be as stupid as the guy who's talking like the Cookie Monster and who actually does the "Mwaaaa-hah-hah-hah-haaaah" laugh. Good, cheesy fun all round.
Anyway, Captain Alvarez of the U.S.S. Archer seems a peppy, gettin'-things-done sort of fellow, like him already. Also, best use of the word "pulchritudinous" since Laurence Olivier last macked on a passing lady at Happy Hour. The Icarus crew, meanwhile -- who are So Frakking Ragtag that their costumes all came from shows of totally different genres and time periods -- are resourceful but struggling under the leadership of some jagoff wearing almost exactly the same Eighties Glam-rock Wig as that Baran guy in the TNG episode where Picard went undercover as a smuggler.
They do however have a massively powerful ship which they presumably stole at some point. Is there backstory there? Presumably? Do I want to know? Nope. Good call Renegades. Pretty sweet space battle ensues, Icarus escapes and steals the cargo, Captain Alvarez curses "Bucket of bolts!" like he just finished watching an episode of Middle-Man, and we learn that "Lexxa" would never be as stupid as the guy who's talking like the Cookie Monster and who actually does the "Mwaaaa-hah-hah-hah-haaaah" laugh. Good, cheesy fun all round.
Thumbs:
Lexxa's fighting in prison! More importantly, Adrienne Wilkinson is being smoking hot and fighting in prison! Hi, Orion guard Garrett Wang, you are the more convincing of the two Orion guards, good job! Oh and hey, that is Mignogna behind the Cardassian makeup, entertaining as always.
Tuvok shows up and uses someone who is clearly Lexxa's mom as leverage to get her to go with him. Dick move, Tuves, but desperate times and all that. Lexxa makes two separate references to prison rape within the space of like a minute, ughhh -- and seriously, did people like that "rape gangs" crap from Yar's backstory so much that we need to relive it? -- but I actually like the emotional work from Wilkinson here. This makes me root for Lexxa enough to wish that she'd appeared earlier in the movie of which she appears to be the protagonist.
Tuvok shows up and uses someone who is clearly Lexxa's mom as leverage to get her to go with him. Dick move, Tuves, but desperate times and all that. Lexxa makes two separate references to prison rape within the space of like a minute, ughhh -- and seriously, did people like that "rape gangs" crap from Yar's backstory so much that we need to relive it? -- but I actually like the emotional work from Wilkinson here. This makes me root for Lexxa enough to wish that she'd appeared earlier in the movie of which she appears to be the protagonist.
Thumbs:
And now...
The great-great-granddaughter and her room-mate still feel shoehorned in here. Of course this being a rewatch, I know now that it's because she's literally a Chekhov's Gun -- and wow, we don't even learn her name here! -- but still, the whole thing feels just static.
Things pick back up as Owen Paris comes strolling in, and wow, he really looks "too old for this sh*t," as Detective Murtaugh might put it. Still, we see a welcome bit of fire from him at the end there -- him and Chekhov both, to give Koenig credit -- that saves the scene from being a total loss.
Things pick back up as Owen Paris comes strolling in, and wow, he really looks "too old for this sh*t," as Detective Murtaugh might put it. Still, we see a welcome bit of fire from him at the end there -- him and Chekhov both, to give Koenig credit -- that saves the scene from being a total loss.
Thumbs:
So Lexxa ponders a picture of her mom as she prepares to take her ship back. We get our first real Emote from Edward Furlong's Fixer and it's a doozy, perhaps uncomfortably like watching the real actor's likely reaction to dropping a gram of choice Colombian marching powder on a shag carpet but... it kinda works. He should be alarmed that somebody's overriding the ship, anyway.
Pigeons missing from Lexxa's slow-mo stride-in, and all good John Woo-isms require pigeons, so, points off for that.
Watching her vaporize Cookie-Monster-Baran, err, Mordenar is unexpectedly satisfying, though. I love how she settles into the seat like she's relishing the thought of her glutes grinding his last few particles out of existence. The second-in-command's welcome-back feels genuinely warm... I'm enjoying Gary Graham just generally, in fact. The Bajoran heavy's reaction to the Cardassian "blasphemer," also nice.
Pigeons missing from Lexxa's slow-mo stride-in, and all good John Woo-isms require pigeons, so, points off for that.
Watching her vaporize Cookie-Monster-Baran, err, Mordenar is unexpectedly satisfying, though. I love how she settles into the seat like she's relishing the thought of her glutes grinding his last few particles out of existence. The second-in-command's welcome-back feels genuinely warm... I'm enjoying Gary Graham just generally, in fact. The Bajoran heavy's reaction to the Cardassian "blasphemer," also nice.Thumbs:
Appreciate the stab at developing Icheb and Ronara* as characters but it's still super-awkward and mostly a miss. Playing it out more subtly and without Icheb explicitly explaining his backstory would have been more satisfying even from a fanservice standpoint, frankly. This is where one can learn something from the Abrams approach, to be honest; his Easter Eggs were typically more subtle than this, played out in a single shot or moment or line of dialogue.
The exchange between Jaro and Garis* is less forced, still not sure if it's entirely necessary -- though it does set up Jaro's little "neural damage from Cardassian torture" deadpan nicely, so that's a plus. (I find myself mostly liking Jaro's little asides. Kevin Fry has the kind of presence to pull it off.) Ragnar's rather sickly fatalism is a nice touch, too. Overall the scene's a lost opportunity, though; Lexxa should be a much stronger and more dominant presence in it than she is.
* Nondescript names like this get hard to keep straight pretty quickly, I have to admit, and I'm pretty decent with nondescript alien names.
The exchange between Jaro and Garis* is less forced, still not sure if it's entirely necessary -- though it does set up Jaro's little "neural damage from Cardassian torture" deadpan nicely, so that's a plus. (I find myself mostly liking Jaro's little asides. Kevin Fry has the kind of presence to pull it off.) Ragnar's rather sickly fatalism is a nice touch, too. Overall the scene's a lost opportunity, though; Lexxa should be a much stronger and more dominant presence in it than she is.
* Nondescript names like this get hard to keep straight pretty quickly, I have to admit, and I'm pretty decent with nondescript alien names.
Thumbs: down, but from a smiley Obama.
Interlude with Chekhov and whatsherface. It's a likeable moment for Chekhov, an awkward one from his daughter (as all of them are for her)... a completely disposable scene otherwise. It's not even really needed as a set-up for later events.
Thumbs: not even the thumbs are interested.
Somewhat mixed feelings on this one. It's always nice watching Picardo work and he does a fine job here as ever. Sean Young acts like she hasn't acted in a while, TBH, but she has a touch of her old presence. This scene slows things down, too, but unlike the previous one it doesn't feel like filler: we're learning important and interesting things from it, like what Lucien's role is and the regrets that haunt her, and that's all cool.
Have to be honest though, the kiss feels like walking in on your parents making out, charming but vaguely embarrassing. Still, otherwise it's a decent scene.
Have to be honest though, the kiss feels like walking in on your parents making out, charming but vaguely embarrassing. Still, otherwise it's a decent scene.
Thumbs:
... and that's it for now.
If this had happened in the movie, I would have paid $60 for it.Now I have this image of Admiral Tuvok sitting on a commode, talking about how he's took old for this shit, with a crazy, wild eyed Chekov off to the side trying to help him jump off the pot before it explodes.
+1
A
Amaris
Guest
Oh, definitely. +1 also.If this had happened in the movie, I would have paid $60 for it.Now I have this image of Admiral Tuvok sitting on a commode, talking about how he's took old for this shit, with a crazy, wild eyed Chekov off to the side trying to help him jump off the pot before it explodes.
+1
It's kind of a minor thing, but the yellow bothered me as well. It was like they filmed those scenes in an abandoned Blockbuster Video.
Haven't really posted here in ages, but I figured I'd check in to see how people felt about the new movie... and yeah. Hopefully Axanar turns out well.
A
Amaris
Guest
Are you sure? I saw it as more of a Hollywood Video kind of look. I worked in one, and they had some of the ugliest yellow walls you ever saw.
Renegades disappointed me. Of Gods and Men I really enjoyed, for all it's craziness it was entertaining. This... not so much. Sorry
I am curious, how on Earth is Lexxa Khan's daughter? Unless she's a lot older than she looks (which I doubt from the TNG-era phaser rifles in the flashback), it just doesn't work.
I am curious, how on Earth is Lexxa Khan's daughter? Unless she's a lot older than she looks (which I doubt from the TNG-era phaser rifles in the flashback), it just doesn't work.
Sperm bank?
King Daniel said:
It's scifi. Could be genetically his daughter when someone took the samples Starfleet probably had on him (from McCoy's tests on the Enterprise) and then produced her from it. Illegal experiment that now casts her as Khan's daughter. Interesting story to tell, maybe. But possible.
The bomb thing was particularly dumb. They even say the thing was contructed by nanites she was laced with, meaning they could assemble it anywhere.
It can take out a room easily, or even pose a threat to the entire building, so where it is in the body doesn't matter, so why didn't the little idiots build it in the thorax where it was far less easily tampered with and go more unnoticed by the victim.
And I mean really, she didn't feel an entire bomb being built in her hand by the things? wouldn't it push out the bones slightly or press on the nerves at least?
"Hey, my hand feels weirdly itchy, now it's stinging, and it feels slightly sluggish. Hmm, nah, it'll be fine."
Such a heavy handed way of forcing an emotional responce from the audience it's terrible.
It can take out a room easily, or even pose a threat to the entire building, so where it is in the body doesn't matter, so why didn't the little idiots build it in the thorax where it was far less easily tampered with and go more unnoticed by the victim.
And I mean really, she didn't feel an entire bomb being built in her hand by the things? wouldn't it push out the bones slightly or press on the nerves at least?
"Hey, my hand feels weirdly itchy, now it's stinging, and it feels slightly sluggish. Hmm, nah, it'll be fine."
Such a heavy handed way of forcing an emotional responce from the audience it's terrible.
I think we're going to need an experts opinion on which is the correct Enterprises C.
The other problem with it is this - after someone tries to take out an admiral in Starfleet HQ it completely strains credibility that the vague "The federation hands are tied" set up earlier is still in force.
You stop that right now MISTER!!!
Similar threads
- Poll
