Admiral: "Anybody ever told you your meeting table looks like an erect alien penis?"
Tuvok: *giggles*
Paris: Tuvok, can you read this? I'm colorblind.
Tuvok: ...
Voyager Caption Contest #134: Substitution
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Tuvok: *giggles*
Paris: Tuvok, can you read this? I'm colorblind.
Tuvok: ...
Paris: They're looking for someone named Nick Lacarno.
Tuvok: Then Mr. Locarno you are safe!
Tftw Leadhead 
Doctor: Scans indicate Chakotay is... dead?
Torres: Nah, he's still breathing.
Janeway: Set your scans to Mahogany.
Paris: Thats odd, it says: Error 404 Page not found </staph>
Tuvok: Did you happen to outsource parts of this holodeck experience?
Paris: Hey, it also says some rich Nigerian prince wants to send us money.
Boothby: Where d'ya get the sturdy table, a strip joint? bwahahahah!
Boothby: Where d'ya get the sturdy borg, a strip joint? bwahahahah!
Admiril: <sigh> This is gonna be a long meeting...
Doctor: Scans indicate Chakotay is... dead?
Torres: Nah, he's still breathing.
Janeway: Set your scans to Mahogany.
Paris: Thats odd, it says: Error 404 Page not found </staph>
Tuvok: Did you happen to outsource parts of this holodeck experience?
Paris: Hey, it also says some rich Nigerian prince wants to send us money.
Boothby: Where d'ya get the sturdy table, a strip joint? bwahahahah!
Boothby: Where d'ya get the sturdy borg, a strip joint? bwahahahah!
Admiril: <sigh> This is gonna be a long meeting...
BOOTHBY: Do you also have a table shaped like a fork?
Chacotay: "No, we only like spooning here."
Thanks for the award, Leadhead! 
(And if you don't mind me asking, what is the name of the font you used in the "Quantum Slipstream Award" graphic?)
Tuvok: Have you found it yet, Mr. Paris?
Paris: Hang on, Tuvok! Vertical Hold ... Brightness ... Contrast ... Tint ... I think I'm in over my head.
Tuvok: You fly a faster-than-light starship for a living.
Paris: Yeah, and you handle ray guns and anti-matter warheads! If you want to try to adjust the colour, be my guest!
Tuvok: I ... defer to your expertise, Mr. Paris.
Janeway: And before we get started, let me just say... Valerie, your great-grandfather has always been a personal hero of mine. It's an honour to meet one of his descendents.
"Boothby": We've been over this. You understand we're not really who we appear to be, right?
Janeway: Of course, Boothby. And I appreciate your willingness to help us out here, just like you always did for me back at the academy.
"Boothby": *sigh*
Once Torres implemented "Engineering Siesta Time", Carey knew his dream of regaining the Chief Engineer position would never come to pass.
Tuvok: Phaser set to "tanning", and firing!
Paris: Ahh! Eye protection, Tuvok! Not without the eye protection!
EMH: I'm getting no readings whatsoever!
Janeway: Um, doctor? You're trying to scan with a salt shaker.
EMH: Well, if it's good enough for Leonard McCoy...
(And if you don't mind me asking, what is the name of the font you used in the "Quantum Slipstream Award" graphic?)
Tuvok: Have you found it yet, Mr. Paris?
Paris: Hang on, Tuvok! Vertical Hold ... Brightness ... Contrast ... Tint ... I think I'm in over my head.
Tuvok: You fly a faster-than-light starship for a living.
Paris: Yeah, and you handle ray guns and anti-matter warheads! If you want to try to adjust the colour, be my guest!
Tuvok: I ... defer to your expertise, Mr. Paris.
Janeway: And before we get started, let me just say... Valerie, your great-grandfather has always been a personal hero of mine. It's an honour to meet one of his descendents.
"Boothby": We've been over this. You understand we're not really who we appear to be, right?
Janeway: Of course, Boothby. And I appreciate your willingness to help us out here, just like you always did for me back at the academy.
"Boothby": *sigh*
Once Torres implemented "Engineering Siesta Time", Carey knew his dream of regaining the Chief Engineer position would never come to pass.
Tuvok: Phaser set to "tanning", and firing!
Paris: Ahh! Eye protection, Tuvok! Not without the eye protection!
EMH: I'm getting no readings whatsoever!
Janeway: Um, doctor? You're trying to scan with a salt shaker.
EMH: Well, if it's good enough for Leonard McCoy...
Paris: What is this? A toilet paper for ants??
Boothby: I really liked this table - when it played the alien in Galaxy's Child.
Paris: "... kill all Humans ... kill all Humans ... kill all Humans ..."
Tuvok: How I wish I could!
The Doctor: "Captain, my scans indicate that your persistent habit of ignoring the Prime Directive has finally shattered the fourth wall."
Janeway: "We can't just do that to our loyal viewers! Doctor, B'elanna, I'm willing to hear your suggestions on how to close this plothole."
The Doctor: "Well, you could start with drinking less coffee, getting a proper haircut and blaming the 'Kardashians'."
Lt. Torres: *sigh* "I'll go grab the self-sealing stem bolts."
Paris: "In case of monochromatic failure, please return to sender before the expiration date of October 30th, 1938..."
Tuvok: "My apologies, Captain. I do not know which one of these people you were referring to as 'Will'."
Ensign Kim: "Captain, I'm detecting a massive explosion in Engineering.. no lifesigns!"
Janeway: "Acknowledged Harry, have Engineering take a look at it."
Boothby: "Did I ever tell you that back in the days, I had a table just like this? It was round and smooth and all made of mahogany."
Adm. Bullock: "Yes sir, didn't we all. Now back to the matter at hand. Captain, did you and your crew come to an agreement on how to dissolve this unfortunate conflict?"
Janeway: "As a matter of fact, yes we have. But we will all have to do our part if we are willing to make this work. Mister Boothby, what are your thoughts on this matter?"
Boothby: "Eh.. ? Oh! Did I ever tell you that back in the days, I had a table just like this? Round.. smooth.. all made of mahogany."
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Paris: Do we really have to go through this every seven years?
Torres: At least you won't have to worry about Vorik coming on you every seven years...
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