TNG Caption This! #420: Officer Thinking

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone, new contest!

First up to the plate, we have the "How it really happened" Award, going to:

Picard: "Mr. Data, I'm afraid I have some bad news...Tasha is dead. Data, I do not think you fully appreciate the meaning of "fully functional", nor did she."

Geordi: "Data, what were you thinking? 15 hours?"

Data: "Correction, Geordi; 15 hours, 12 minutes, 37 seconds..."

Next, we have the "Proper Supervision" Award, going to:

Blue shirt: Finally, they're distracted.....i can get back to playing Tetris.

Next, we have the "Lightweight" Award, going to:

PICARD: I thought a man your size could handle his liquor, Number One.

Next, we have the "Regulation Footwear" Award, going to:

LaForge: Maybe stiletto heels aren't the way to go for your away mission to Starfleet Headquarters.

Next, we have the "Skills" Award, going to:

PICARD: See? I remember exactly how to work this console. See? I just raised the shields.
(Lights go off on the Bridge)

Captains Log, Supplemental: Yep, this is one uncomfortable uniform.

Last night, when setting this contest up, I made an error that accidentally gave the same entry two awards. So here is the Proper Klingon Belly laugh Winner!

Picard: "Yes, Geordi is correct, Data. When it is your own desk, you should sit behind it, not in front of it. And in the future, I would like both of you to remember that it is inappropriate to call the captain in to settle this kind of piddly shit."

The next winner was the original choice for the Klingon Belly Laugh Award, but thankfully our vigilant moderator Mutai Sho-Rin came to the rescue and spotted the miss. So, a new special award in honor of our helpful Mod:

It was after the 18th iteration of faking the missing day, Data realized he probably should just say screw it and tell them.

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

And now, a new contest!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Crusher could only laugh at the weak nature of Riker's pickup lines.

Picard: Buffering again?!

Data: Counselor, it is time for the second half of my poetry reading.

Worf: Never mind, I don't want to be involved in this. You're on your own, Captain.

O'Brien: Budget cuts again, they replaced the Isolinear circuitry with plastic.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Data: "15 hours, 12 minutes, 38 seconds..."

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Worf: Admiral Maury has come aboard and will be here shortly.

Picard: Thank you, Mr. Worf. Now we can finally get to the bottom of this.

 

[Bry_Sinclair]

The Senior Staff created a game for the times they were called into the Ready Room for a meeting: Cut The Cheese And Run. Beverly was the reigning champion, five years in a row.

*Sniff sniff*
BEVERLY!!!!

Security: Come on now, wake up. Move it along, you can't sleep here, Missy.
[Troi hurls bottle of hooch in a paper bag]

Picard and Troi's side business as interior decorators never quite took off.

What the...? [Reads label on isolinear chip] O'Brien's random rank generator chip.

 

[joededman]

Crusher thinking: The fool has no idea where Deanna was last night.

Picard: For a counsellor she's certainly good at hiding her location from the ships computer.

Data: Counsellor! Shifts over. You do not have to hide here in the holo-deck any longer. You can go back to your quarters to sleep.

OBrien Thinking: 'Isn't that the way. Always at least one spare part left over after you put something back together. Hope it wasn't important.'

 

[Nerys Myk]

STEWART: Did we get a budget increase? The wardrobe department has given the aliens multiple costume styles!

O'BRIEN: Goodbye isolinear chip 216Y34-X2338-559. You were one of the best.

PICARD: Looks like Leadhead started the new TNG Caption Contest on time for a change.

CRUSHER: Wesley looks so grown up sitting at conn in his uniform. I just want to go over there and give him a big kiss and a hug.

RIKER: I'd pay real money if you would.

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

O'Brien; <thinking>Season 3 of Justified, can't delete that, haven't watched it yet</thinking> Sorry Captain, out of memory in the buffer, we've lost the away team patterns.

 

[Rat Boy]

After having their memories restored, Riker wasn't sure if he wanted to thank "MacDuff" or strangle him. Crusher was sure she'd go with option #2 after experiencing Number One.

Captain's Personal Log: I really need to stop playing Kerbal Space Program in the ready room. I can hardly get any work done. But they're just so adorable!

Okona: "If you folks don't mind, I'm off to seduce another future television superstar."

Data: "Apparently Sherlock Holmes induces narcolepsy in Betazoids."

Overworked yet without a planet to beam down to, stressed out at home with no relief at all, O'Brien finally snaps and tests out if isolinear chips are edible.

 

[Bad Thoughts]

O'Brien: A few more adjustments, and I should be able to keep my stash of single malt suspended in the transporter indefinitely, where Keiko can't find it.

 

[shivkala]

Crusher: Doctor's Log-And that's how Crusher got her groove back...

Picard: Wait a minute, aren't we supposed to have full high definition immersive tactile input holographic displays in the future? Why the Hell am I watching this on a screen scarcely bigger than an iPad Air?

Abed: It seems the Dreamatorium was too much for Annie to handle.

Picard: And that's why we brought Han Solo, I mean Thadiun Okona, here.

O'Brien: "Naked Female Officers Holodeck Program," my God Reg! I should turn you in. On the other hand...

http://www.trekbbs.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/

 

[Bad Thoughts]

Picard: Here is the Enterprise, we stand around and talk out our problems, slowly and deliberately.
Yanar: If you don't mind, Captain, I'd like to ...
Picard: We cannot resolve your problems unless everyone commits to the process, even you.
Yanar: I'm eight months pregnant, and my feet are swollen. I'd rather not be forced to stand.
Troi: I was pregnant before, and it was no big deal. Suck it up.
Yanar, thinking: this is going to end like that episode of Downton Abbey.

 

[Finn]

Riker: Surely Deanna was joking when she doesn't always get them with me every time. You did, didn't you? Right?

Picard: Computer, how did Wesley save the Enterprise during the finals week at the Academy?

Computer: Unable to compute

Data: Deanna, you missed the part where Trip survived...

O'Brien:Surely, there would be no harm to this.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Crusher: Man alive, I love Prostate Exam Day.
Riker: Can't you do that with scanners now?
Crusher: Old-fashioned way is more fun. *snaps glove*

Picard: What is it with these people and Picard Facepalm memes?

Data: Deanna, I sense that you are tired.
Troi: Is that supposed to be a joke?
..I am tired. How long has this speech been going ON?

O'Brien: "A PROMOTION IS HEADED YOUR WAY." Hah! Daft fortune cookies. What, are they going to make me chief engineer?

 

[Hutchy01]

Riker: Just tell him he's relieved of duty and needs to put his pants back on!

Picard: This tastes like piss ... What is it?
Data O/S: Your normal Tea captain

 

[Triskelion]

Riker: You...removed Data's nuts?
Crusher: Standard procedure.
Riker: Oh.
Crusher: For pissing me off.

Picard: Computer, location of ceiling cat, I mean Spot....

Replace Clare's Dragoons with Justin Beiber, will you? Let's see how you like waste recyc in your cornflakes, Billy Boy.

 

[hux]

TFTW

Riker: So it's healthy and normal sized?
Crusher: Yup *snigger* perfectly normal.

Message from Starfleet command: Someone has travelled back in time and stopped the iPad from being invented which is why your screen is now so chunky.
Picard: Ah, that explains it.

Picard: Picard to Data; Troi has spent all night getting wasted on the holodeck with holographic Klingons again, please pick her up.
Data: Understood.

Debin: This is the worst rave I've ever been to, Picard, you dick.

O'Brien: If I don't replace this chip, Kieko can't beam back to the ship.

Three hours later.

O'Brien: If I don't replace this chip, Kieko can't beam back to the ship.

Eight hours later.

O'Brien: If I don't replace this chip, Kieko can't beam back to the ship.

Fourteen hours later.

O'Brien: If I don't replace this chip, Kieko can't beam back to the ship.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Beverly: I have no idea what he's talking about. All I asked for was a small pastry. I didn't know he was going to start laughing! Was it something I said?

 

[TolkienOtaku]

謝謝, LeadHead! Glad you thought my caption was funny!

Dr. Crusher: "O rly?"
Riker: "I think you've been looking at too many early 21st century memes, Doctor."
Dr. Crusher: "NO WAI!!!"

Picard: "Youtube changed their site AGAIN?"

Data: "Counselor, please cover up your cleavage. I am finding it difficult to concentrate."

Pregnant Girl's thoughts: Man, what I wouldn't give for a Delovian soufflé right about now.

O'Brien: "Welp, better get rid of this before Keiko finds it."

 

[tharpdevenport]

"'Disco Inferno', The Trampps? No wonder the lights go all colorful and smoke fills the transporter room sometimes."