TNG Caption This! #410: Lightning Round!

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone!

First up to the plate, we have the "Career Opportunities" Award, going to:

GOWRON: He started it

WORF: Did not!

GOWRON: Did too!

PICARD (sigh): A career in archaeology looks better every day.

Next, we have "The Voice of Reason" Award, going to:

DATA: A Klingon male.
TROI: Awesome. We totally should have a creature with super strength and no understanding of social boundaries walking around the ship trying to behave like a Klingon. Nothing could go wrong with that combination.

Next, we have the "This one's for StarFAIL Blog" Award, going to:

O'Brien: I've carried out a full scan Sir, and can not find any Klingon's aboard.

Next, we have the "Brilliant Deception" Award, going to:

Picard: Here you go Gowron, you look a bit chilly. Now, what do I need to do to make Duras' son Leader of the Klingon High Council?

Next, we have the "Popularity Contest" Award, going to:

Picard: You see, Mister Worf? That's how a Klingon makes an entrance! Bravo, sir!
Bridge Crew: <polite applause>
Worf: @#$%....

Gowron: Klingon Chancellor's Log--I make this look good

DATA: "Klingon male, warrior race known throughout the quadrant for their strength, stamina, and virility. As well as their brazen masculinity, confidence, and living life to its fullest"

TROI (THINKING): Sigh ... hmmm, aren't Worf's quarters just down the corridor?

DATA: "They are also known for their prowess at satisfying the sexual demands of their famously difficult-to-please females"

TROI: "Excuse me Data, I have to go ... right now!"

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

Rather than skip a contest or make this one extra long due to my busy schedule last weekend, we shall have an abridged contest with just 3 pictures.

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Worf: Worf to Picard, it is confirmed. You left the oven on.

Picard: Number One, you're being energy attacked.

Riker: Huh?

Data: I believe that the Alien Drone may be hostile.

Yar: Ya think?!

 

[Maurice]

WORF: I told you not to light a match. Klingon farts are not to be toyed with!

RIKER: Mola Ram you're not.
T'JON: Shut up and give me your heart!

DATA: There is no need to take cover. We're regular characters on the show. They producers will never kill us.

 

[Triskelion]

T4WLH!

Worf: Found you. Or should I say, your porkbelly barrel.
Riker: Oh well, this isn't the first time I was betrayed by the McRib, and it won't be the last.

Riker: Who told this man he could wear bunny slippers?

Data: Boy, alien laser golf really sucks.
Yar: Shut up and hand me my 9 iron.

 

[hux]

Worf: I warned him not to have the curry

T'Jon: Kali Ma... Kali Ma... Kali Ma Shakti de

Data: According to my tricorder, the alien only attacks unconvincing, wooden scenery
Riker: In that case, we should protect Yar

 

[Rat Boy]

Riker: "What are the odds that with over a thousand people on board we're the only two with fire fighting training?"

Worf: "...actually, I don't have any."

Riker: "Neither do I. Thank God, this is less awkward now."

Riker: "Sorry, but my communicator's tamper-proof."

Data: "I believe we have located Master Skywalker."

 

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

How to make Klingon "Disruptor Chili"

Step 1: Simmer for hours in a traditional Klingon fire pit

Step 2: After consumption, get treated for heartburn

Step 3: The next day... Ready, Aim, Fire!

 

[tharpdevenport]

Riker: "Careful, Mr. Worf! The captain is finally getting some after nearly seven years; it's gonna get pretty damn hot in there!"

 

[Ithekro]

Riker: FIRE IN THE HOLE!!

Worf: I can see that, Commander.

Main Character Shielding

Meanwhile on Alderaan...

Data: That appears to not be a moon.

 

[Mojochi]

Worf: I knew we should've told you how terrible a cook your really are

The old "Com-Badge hand buzzer trick" was all in the deadpan delivery

Tasha's recurring nightmare of the away mission where Data nearly becomes partially functional

 

[JirinPanthosa]

TFTW!

RIKER: An explosion! Prisoners must be trying to escape!
WORF: Recommend we jump into the doorway one at a time without cover while frantically drawing our weapons!
RIKER: Good idea! Let's go!

RIKER: Is it me, or is it a little dry in here?
ALIEN: I really like these shaggy carp...ACK!

DATA: You know, maybe we should just stop killing these things, so they stop spawning more threatening ones.
TASHA: I never noticed before, but you have a really nice butt.

 

[shivkala]

Thanks for the Win!

Riker: Riker to Troi, I think it's time you scheduled some marriage counseling for the O'Briens. ASAP, before their next fight blows up the ship!

T'Jon: I'm electrocuting you, you could at least act annoyed!

Yar: The weaponry and scenery suck!

Data: Enhanced special effects won't be installed until Tuesday.

http://www.trekbbs.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/

 

[Leviathan]

Riker: OK, seriously, does nobody else think this guy looks like Kirk's son?

 

[Nerys Myk]

DATA: Increase temperature by 10 degrees.

YAR: There must be a better way to start a fire.

 

[joededman]

Worf: Ahh! Now the chili should be spicy enough.

T'Jon: Let me try and imbue some life into this Riker character.

Riker: I think he's channelling Lieutenant Colonel Bill Kilgore from Apocalypse Now. Stick close to him we should be safe.

 

[Vanyel]

Worf: Commander turn down the tanning bed light.

Clear.

Data: For a weapons system that eliminated the entire population of this planet, it is a very poor shot.
Tasha: The were probably programed by Imperial Stormtroopers.

 

[Triskelion]

Riker: Worf, did you leave your crimping iron on again?
Worf: KLINGONS DO NOT USE - Oh what the hell, probably.

Riker: Vulcan Gaydar meld? Do what now?

Data: Stand...perfectly...still.
Yar: Why, it won't be able to see us?
Data: No, I'm calibrating my side boob peripheral vision.

 

[Finn]

First Officer's Log: In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have beamed the Captain to a holodeck simulation where a holographic Beverly told him Wesley was his child, while we prepared for his surprise birthday party. He did not take it well. One thing led to another. On the holoprogram, the Enterprise was destroyed in the end....

 

[Nebusj]

Riker: ``Worf ... you ... are you crying?''
Worf: ``It's just so beautiful! Best. Birthday. Ever.''

Riker: ``Yeah, I've had this guy doing his lightning thing to me for like three weeks now. I think his species doesn't really know what it's doing.''

Data: ``The item to scavenge is a disruptor beam on maximum kill --- ah. Success already.''

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: I've always loved you!!!!