Movies Caption Contest #252: The History of the Film

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone! New contest time!

First up to the plate, we have the "Reputation" Award, going to:

Spock: "You should exhibit more discretion! Consorting with such a known slut could be very detrimental to your reputation!"
Kirk: "Jesus, Spock! She's standing right behind you!"
Spock: "I'm talking to her!"

Next, we have the "Historical Innaccuracies" Award, going to:

"Perhaps she is wanting wifi for her iPhone?'

"Spock, this isn't the 19th century, stop confusing her"

Next, we have the "One confusing story talking about another" Award, going to:

Kirk: They traveled faster than warp ten then turned into lizards. I don't get it
McCoy: God damn it Jim, change channels

Our Photoshop Award, goes to:

Trek To The Egg

Spock: but she's Vulcan. Surely, your charm can't work with her

Kirk: I don't believe in the no win scenario...... And don't call me Shirley.

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

And now, while a little later than April 1st, I think it's still close enough for an April Fools Contest!

This movie has been the source of so many wonderful winning captions, why not give Monty Python and the Holy Grail its own contest?

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Arthur: Its a new caption contest! RUN AWAY!

Minstrel: (Singing) He is Brave Sir Robin and Brother Maynard and Roger the Shrubber and Concorde...

Galahad: Forget the Holy Grail, I'm staying here forever!

Brother: (reading) And the lord said, if the Holy Hand grenade of Antioch does not explode properly, there shall be no refunds...

Bridgekeeper: What is your name?

Lancelot: Ummmm.... dang. I knew that a minute ago...

Brother: (reading) The Holy Grail can be found at the Castle Aggggghhhhh. It is only findable with Google Maps version 3.5.

 

[Nerys Myk]

IDLE: Look, Trekkies... and I thought our fans were obsessive.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

TFTW, LeadHead!

Galahad: "Why...this convent is little more than a den of sexual perversion and iniquity!"
Mother Superior: "Do you object to such things, Sir Galahad?"
Galahad: "Well......yes......officially..."

 

[Ithekro]

Wait wait. How does one do a caption contest using Monty Python and the Holy Grail, without just repeating what is exactly in the image from that film? I mean, it is harder to get funnier than what was already there.

 

[Nerys Myk]

NASTY: See, this is much better than your "Tragical History Tour" idea.

 

[Rat Boy]

Galahad: "You know, there are some perfectly good trees we can hide in over there."

Sir Robin: "Sir Eee, could you tell me how to get to Camelot?"

Sir Eee: "Certainly, sir. At the next stump, turn left!"

Galahad: "...would you women mind backing off? I wasn't expect the Spanish Inquisition..."

*jarring chord*

Not Zoot: "...bloody hell, not again."

Brother: "...and so the Lord doth said upon usage of His most holy of hand grenades: 'Hasta lasagna, don't get any on ya'."

Knights: "Amen!"

Old Man From Scene 24: "What is the capital of Asyria?"

Lancelot: "Hold on, let me check Wikipedia."

Brother Maynard: "...It says 'You Are Here.' It also says the grail can be found at the Castle of Agggggggghhh...next to Chuck E. Cheese."

Arthur: "That's just across the food court. Knights, let us ride...to Chuck E. Cheese!"

Patsy: "...it's only a corny kids restaurant chain."

Arthur: "Shhhhhh!"

 

[Triskelion]

Arthur: These Are The Voyages Riker! Run away!

Minstrel: Who was that French fellow with the Van Dyke and British accent?
Sir Robin: Just another douchebag from the Greenwood.

Mother Superior: You think you're unlucky with women! We had a blind fellow in here from the future who couldn't cop a feel with a testoon of pence on groat-and-a-farthing night!

Warp nine point nine nine nine shalt thou not count, nor either count thou eight, excepting that thou then proceed to nine. Ten is right out!

Bridgekeeper: What is your name?
Lancelot: My name is Sir Lancelot of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What is your quest?
Lancelot: To seek the Kurlan naiskos.
Bridgekeeper: What is the warp speed velocity of Berlinghoff Rasmussen's shuttle achieving time travel through a wormhole?
Lancelot: What do you mean? With a stable or unstable terminus?
Bridgekeeper: Huh? I don't know that!

Arthur: The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog?
Brother Maynard: The Dancing Doctor of Sub Rosa.
Arthur: Run away!

 

[Rat Boy]

The natives look on in horror as the Enterprise-D crashes into Veridian III.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Troll: "Don't waste your time. I've been over there. Not worth the price of admission."

 

[tharpdevenport]

"Hello, angry, violent unruly mob here. We heard you won't cater a homosexual wedding because of your religious dictates, so we though we'd politely disagree by protesting you, bashing you with vile insutls and death threats online, and burn your castle down.

Politely."

 

[inflatabledalek]

The cast react to seeing how much shameless shit John Cleese will do for money in the future.

James Doohan turns up for the first day of filming on TMP with his new moustache.

Knight: This Alice Eve knicker scene is completely gratuitous and sexist...

Queen: You could look away.

Knight: In a second!

Arthur: Here I have Gene Roddenberry's ashes. Now, how do we get them into space?

The original "Kirk Dies on the bridge" ending to Generations.

Cleese: They're trying to caption us? One of the funniest films of all time? They really think they can come up with jokes that won't look cack in comparison?

Idle: Not a chance.

 

[Ithekro]

Would this count as 10th century technobabble?

Authur: So how do we defeat the Rabbit?

Sir Robin: Could we use the insense holder as a projectile and knock it out?

Authur: No it is too fast for that.

Brother Mynard: But if we insert gunpower into the insense holder, we might make an explosion big enough to render it inert.

Sir Robin: Right, but we'd need to get the mixture just right.

Authur: Make it so.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Needs more babble.

 

[tharpdevenport]

"Dear friends, today is the day that the knight cried. And he cries not for the passing of one man, but for the death of a dream; the dream that he would someday taste the ultimate victory over his hated enemy, for it was the King Arthur who made me the happy soul I am today. How I agonized over the perfect way to thank him for that. Perhaps with a iocane pie in the face ..... or an exploding whoopee cushion, playfully planted by the Round Table. But those dreams were dashed by the weasely little gunsel sitting there In our midst. The cowardly, insignificant garlet who probably got lucky when King Arthur slipped on the slim trail this loser left behind him. This MOUD, diseased hyena filth who's NOT FIT TO LICK THE DIRT FROM MY SPATS!...

But I digress."

 

[Ithekro]

The natives look on in horror as the Enterprise-D crashes into Veridian III.

It is only a model.

 

[tharpdevenport]

The natives look on in horror as the Enterprise-D crashes into Veridian III.

The natives look on in horror as Uhura does her naked fan dance. In broad daylight. With Sulu helping.

 

[Triskelion]

"Lutes, Flutes & Bagpipes Straightened - call Freida the Fluglehornist 1-800-TUNE-ME-PIPE."

 

[Hutchy01]

Man with Beard (thinking): Should Eric's head be on fire?!

 

[Smellincoffee]

Arthur: RUN AWAAAAAAAAAAY!
Worf, OS: I do not understand this program at all. Real warriors do not "run away". And where is Robin Hood?

Lancelot: Who is "Jenny"?
Galahad: I don't know, but she sounds like a damsel in distress. I'll take care of her. Eight-six-seven, five-three-oh-nine. Got it.

"What's Bruce Wayne doing down here? And why is he wearing Batman's boots?"

Troll: A toll is a toll, and a roll is a roll, and if we don't get no tolls, then we don't eat no rolls.