TNG Caption This! #392: The Spirit of the Season

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone! Sorry about being way late on this one. Just been busy leading up to the holidays.

First up to the plate, we have the "Rat Boy is stealing thought's out my my brain, again" Award, going to:

Picard: "Report."

Worf: "'To Kill A Mockingbird' by Harper Lee."

Picard: "Not a book report!"

Next, we have the "Well, not until Insurrection" Award, going to:

Troi: Oh look at me, I'm Commander Riker! I've just broken the Prime Directive by having sex with a person from a race without gender and convincing them they're a female! I am such a fool! No wonder Troi won't date me.

Next up, we have the "Cause and Effect, oh wait... that's a different episode" Award, going to:

Wesley: "This is where I switched off my targeting computer."

Admiral: "What was wrong?"

Wesley: "Nothing. I was alright."

Admiral: "and then the crash?"

Wesley ...

Next, we have the "Missing Picard" Award, going to:

Riker: He's about this high? Answers to the name Jean-Luc Picard? Bald? No? Haven't seen him? Damn it, where could he have gone? I swear, turn your back one second on him, he sees some archelogical display or a kiosk selling tea, and bam! Lost captain! Every time, every time! You know this is why he's not allowed on away missions!

Next, we have the "Well then, what kind of man ishe?"

WORF: Sir! I protest. I am not a sherry man.

The Photoshop award, goes to:

Riker out!

And...

QUARK: Here's your bill. Please pay the cashier.

WORF: Bill???! We don't use money! Everything is free!!! Where's Guinan?

QUARK: Did you miss the sign on the door? "Under New Management". Would it help if I used smaller words or pictures?

Captain's log: It appears, that Some officers just can't manage my directive for all officers to walk in order of rank

Picard: Let's hope the night crew didn't face the borg while we were in bed!

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

I know I said I'd have some special awards this time around, but being so busy pushed that back to the next contest.

Before I post the next photos, just want to say Happy Holidays to everyone on the TrekBBS and hope you all enjoy the coming days!

And now, new contest!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: Vash, you bought me a Bolian Ceremonial Crystal!

Vash: Yes.... bought...

Picard: (off-screen) I assure you, Admiral. The Enterprise is a well-oiled, professional operation.

Data: Captain! Look what I made in arts and crafts with the school children!

Riker: How about, we leave this case of expensive booze here and your people become unofficial "Agents" of the Federation?

Worf: Computer, replicate item #170984A.

Computer: Unable to comply. The last allotted bunny rabbit stuffed animal has been replicated right behind you.

Data: Captain, that was not the ghost of Christmas future. The EMH is playing jokes on us again.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Worf (thinking): "I wish they'd hurry up and get that kid out of here so I can replicate K'Ehyler's Mor'dbagh present!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

DATA:A one man show based on "A Christmas Carol" would be a horrible idea, sir.

 

[shivkala]

Thanks for the win, Lead-Nosed Reindeer

Picard: A diamond?

Vash: Yes? I thought my use of the term "rock" would have given it away. Were you expecting something else?

Picard: I was hoping for some nose candy, myself.

Data: Sir, I believe your peace attempts have been successful! The people of Troyius have given us this horse as a gesture of peace!

Hayne: Chateau Picard? We use this to clean our engines!

Despite capitalism being defunct, Build-a-Bear somehow survived and made its way onto starships to torture parents in the 24th century.

Data: Scrooge? No, sir, this is actually supposed to be a pastiche of you!

http://www.trekbbs.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard: "I was just thinking how nice this would look on the third finger of your left hand."
Vash: "Oh? Oh! Well...this is awkward."

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Data: I am unfamiliar with the idiom, "Friendship is magic."

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: This is the fourth time I've tried to replicate a bat'leth. This station must be defective!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Data: "It is a gift. For Admiral Murray."
Troi: "Isn't he the one who called you a 'horse's ass' at a symposium last month?"
Data: "Yes."
Troi: "I really don't think this is a good idea."

 

[Mojochi]

Thanks for picking mine

Vash: It's as big as a door knob

Picard: What's a...... door......... Knob?

Data: Apparently, "It reminded me of you" is not sufficient cause for presenting a gift to the counselor

Riker: Alright, you got what you wanted. Now where's the antibiotic for your local STDs?

Worf: Such contradictory parenting. How is a child supposed to understand that they shouldn't play with their food?

Data: Sir, I was led to believe there would be bugs that hum in this program

 

[JirinPanthosa]

PICARD: Wow, that is a huge diamond! Did you know diamonds are a made of carbon atoms in a perfect lattice of tetrahedral bonds? Once considered quite valuable on Earth due to their former rarity, they have a refractive index of 2.419.
VASH: Interesting. Did I mention I have a boyfriend?

DATA: I like the horsie.

HAYNE: Hey, booze! Thanks! But what I really want is transport to Earth for all of our people. It is silly in the utopian 24th century for us to have to live in this awful place just because our ancestors failed to establish a successful colony. Do you know they have rape gangs here? Rape gangs! This is 2367. If you could bring us back to Earth we could enjoy the same safety and luxury that other humans do.
RIKER: I can get you more booze!

WORF: Hmm...it's Deanna's and my six month anniversary. Do I get her the flowers, or the targ head? Flowers, targ head...hmm...I have to go with my instincts here. Computer, one targ head!

DATA: I chose this costume because out of all the Scrooge costumes in human theatrical history, it's by far the cheesiest. I have observed, humans like their entertainment to be cheesy.

 

[Nerys Myk]

DATA: While it is the thought that counts. I gave you this last Christmas.

 

[Nebusj]

Picard: ``A Tallarian doorknob? Do you know how rare this is?''
Vash: ``How rare? How rare?''
Picard: ``Not even slightly rare. There's two of these attached to most every door on the planet.''

[ three hours later ]

Vash: ``Wait, why would a door have an attached knob?''

Data: ``Navigation reports we are entering a dense field of collectible knick-knacks.''

``Man ... what are we ever going to do if the 80s come to an end?''

The Devilbunnies beam in Mister Snuffles to take out Worf! They succeed, because of course.

``Don't you worry, Jean-Luc, we'll get you back to Hill Valley in the year 2355 or my name's not Doctor Noonian Brown!''

 

[bolak]

Old Earth proverb: beware geeks bearing gifts.

Just then, Worf realised he had sent the pattern for Troi's All-Night Orgasmatron Bunny to the wrong replicator.

 

[Finn]

Picard: (OS) Damn it, Data! Just because I look like a kid means I can't play with a real horse anymore!

 

[Hutchy01]

Vash: The finest blue meth this side of New Mexico

Picard: When I said go get the Jackass , I meant Commander Riker!

Worf: They are my sample bottles, you PetaQ

Worf: Replicate one comestible 'fluffy' bunny.

Data: Captain , you will be visited by three ghosts tonight ...

 

[2takesfrakes]

"Jean-Luc, since this vacation started - let's face it - you've been listless ... and this just might perk you up."

"You want to perk me up?"

"Mhm."

"It makes me shudder to think what your mind might concoct. I'll take this pill ..."

 

[huskers57]

Thanks for the win!

Captain Picard - "This must be kept hidden from Troxartas!"

Data - "I really had to go high at the auction to get this horse... Who'd have thought a Women's Auxiliary auction would draw Zsa Zsa?!"

Riker - "Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son."

Worf - "Transwarp beaming of stuffed bunnies...and to the one place we just can't go..."

Data - "I don't know what you want, but I know I can get it for you, with a minimum of fuss! Money, jewels, a *very* big ball of string. "

 

[Rat Boy]

Vash: "What is it?"

Picard: "No idea, but some person called Star Lord was asking around about it."

The games portion of the fiesta was clearly rigged since Data was the only one strong enough to break the pinata.

Hayne: "...Crown Royal."

Riker: "They were out of Chivas."

Hayne: "Fair enough."

Worf tried not to be envious of Lieutenant Jones for marrying someone twenty years younger than him, but at least there was his trophy wife's bratty kid that balanced things out.

Data: "Captain, you really should not be criticizing my choice of wigs."

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Bunny: Hey! Jackass! Back here! I've just been replicated and I'm already a better shot than you!