You've just been assigned to Red Shirt duty. What are you going to do to avoid getting wacked in the next episode?
You're A Red Shirt....
- Thread starter Spock's Barber
- Start date
Change into a Gold Shirt. 
Maybe a blue shirt would be safer.
Surreptitiously stick my name into the opening credits. I may still die, but at least I'll get resurrected before the end of the episode!
Risk is our business.
I'd handcuff myself to Captain Kirk and tell him, "If it happens to me, it happens to you, too."
A
Amaris
Guest
♪ ♫ You're a red shirt,
and you're on the bridge,
but you know that you've not gotta say.
you'll be the first on that landing party,
you'll be the first on that landing party,
It's a bad shirt,
and it'll cost you your life,
but you know that you've not gotta say.
Say "No sir," but it won't really matter,
cause you'll be beaming on down to stay. ♫ ♪
(to the tune of "Rich Girl" by Hall and Oates)
and you're on the bridge,
but you know that you've not gotta say.
you'll be the first on that landing party,
you'll be the first on that landing party,
It's a bad shirt,
and it'll cost you your life,
but you know that you've not gotta say.
Say "No sir," but it won't really matter,
cause you'll be beaming on down to stay. ♫ ♪
(to the tune of "Rich Girl" by Hall and Oates)
Go and see Dr.McCoy and ask for a bed in sickbay? 
JB
JB
I wear a red shirt and I work for Scotty. I'm one of those famed Starfleet engineers.
Plus I'm secretly in charge of his private whiskey stash up in one of the warp nacelle pylons.
Plus I'm secretly in charge of his private whiskey stash up in one of the warp nacelle pylons.
Take a job in Communications, it's probably the safest Red Shirt Department--plus Uhura would be my boss!
Put my pants on my head and two pencils up my nose and say Wibble.
Very good. Can you also write Red Shirt lyrics for the Barnes and Barnes song, "Fish Heads"?
State and vigorously pursue your case for sex reassignment surgery, if you're not already a woman. How many of them bought the farm? Yeoman Thompson of course, in of the more lamentable examples of a red shirt being sent to Sto-vo-kor, but I'm not flashing on any others right now. Maybe this was just an example of a fading genteel (or sexist) sensibility still at play, even in an SF production, but regardless, I think you were definitely in a much more advantageous position to survive, even though you probably still earned fewer quatloos than your male counterpart, but hey, you did have a much longer life expectancy, so at least that inequality would come out in the wash.
I know how to repair computers. Therefore I'm indispensable.
``Regulan Anti-Symmetric Poison Handcuffs ... harmless to the wearer until he snaps someone else into it. A dastardly booby-trap from that world's most barbaric age. And now poor Ensign Barber is the last victim of a senseless era. Check that --- may poor Ensign Barber be the last victim of a senseless era. Warp speed, mister Sulu.''
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