^what he said. If you're overweight, try to get into better shape. If you feel you have other issues (attractiveness, self-confidence, etc) try to work those out. Therapy may be advisable. If you're a member of a church or community organization, see if they have any singles type events where you can meet people. If you're looking for companionship, don't obsess over sex if you do meet someone - let the relationship develop naturally. This relationship stuff takes time.
And that's fine for you. But you can't apply that to others or dismiss their valuation of sexuality the way you did.
I seem to recall we had Jayson threads similar to this one several years ago, and we offered him similar advice back then. Please just get your shit together, man. Meanwhile, why not watch these educational films:
I'm actually alot better than I was 10 years ago. For starters I no longer feel so desperate to have sex or a girlfriend that it would drive me bonkers. In fact I kind of like having problems. It makes me feel human. Also back then I was so obssed with always trying to be a perfect human being it made my OCD worst. I have the OCD were you get intrusive thoughts like violent stuff. Everytime I had a bad thought I would anyalise it to death. This would just cause more thoughts. Afterwhile though I started to basically give myself a break. Once I did that the OCD even started going down to a point where I barely even have it anymore. I still have depression but to me that just gives me something to work on. I am always thinking about how to either have fun or improve myself. I like those goals and if I don't always succeed it just means it gives me something to look forward to. Jason
Everyone has bad thoughts -- random synaptic circuit shit that kicks in -- you just have to learn the reflex of ignoring them and not bringing them into reality or obsessing about them. It's kind of pointless trying to be perfect though. Perhaps aim to do no harm and put others before you. However, many successful people are sociopaths so being pleasant might be somewhat incompatible with achieving status in the world. BTW I find regular strenuous exercise helps combat depression but I can't say it'll work for everyone.
I agree on the perfect thing. For some reason I was always like that. I recall crying once when I told my mom I was intrested in girls. to me the thing seemed dirty for some reason. Also I am someone who is alway afriad of hurting people's feeling to a point where it gets hard to make friends because I feel like I can't open up. this causes trust issues. As for the ocd that has been with me since at least the late 90's. Proably longer but didn't really register when I was younger. What I have noticed is fear tends to drive them ore than anything. I have never been afraid hurting people. OCD is different from having some of the more intense type of things like bi-polar or whatnot. People with OCD always never act on their thoughts. What made me afraid though was more existential. I always wondered what they said about me as a person or my soul for the lack of a better word. Also it played into my fears of hurting people's feelings. I would look at people and feel shame or guilt. I always wondered what they would think if they could hear my thoughts. this of course would just trigger more thoughts and the cycle would keep repeating itself. I agree that exercise helps but I do got to start slow because of how big I have gotten. GO to fast I will just injury myself. Jason
Yeah, first leave off the junk, sugary, and processed food, eat more healthily and build up gradually on exercise. You do seem to have self-esteem issues so some counselling might help although I guess it costs. There are probably some self-help books that you could read but I'm not able to recommend any -- I've read "What Color Is Your Parachute?", "Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High", and "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" -- none of which seem appropriate to your situation. There are many books about breaking bad habits and increasing self confidence so perhaps start with one of those.
I already see a therapist. I even go with my mom. I like being able to talk about things with both of them in the same room. As far as self-esteem goes that is kind of hard but it actually helps coming to places like this. Also am going to be going to some support groups. Wish there was actually something else that is fun in my town but there is squat. Whatever you do, never move to Oklahoma. Jason
We use to have wind back in the day. That was in the before time. Back before "Twister" let everyone know about it. It wasn't long until Yankee swindlers came in and took it all and left us nothing but Fracking technology. Now all our homes are in ruins because of the earthquakes. Are schools are destroyed and our children are shamefully getting smarter since they not being exposed to our school books. Do you know what it is like to to have wear flame retartant clothing while taking showers in public showers because half of the time you get water and the other time you get fire. It is a bleak time. But Oklahoma football looks to have a good season next year so things aren't all bad. Jason
Have you looked at meetup.com? You can search by state, city etc.. there is a ton of stuff there, you'd be surprised. A lot of it is very grassroots and small and you'd never see it or know about it otherwise. Also most stuff is no commitment, just show up!
Talking about sex....on a Star Trek site...... This can't be right.We have stereotypes to live up (or down)to.