Your 10 Year Plan?

[PKTrekGirl]

Some people say that "Good things come to those who wait", but I put about as much credibility into that as I do the idea that "Jesus has someone for each person", (something I heard growing up. If only I'd have known better).

Good you are giving these up early. Because in my experience, they are both a load of crap. As is 'what comes around, goes around' and other such statements regarding any sort of karma or justice or whatever.

In my experience (particularly in the business world), the most ruthless always finish first...and most of the time make damn sure that nice guys don't finish at all. And by the way, Karma NEVER catches up to these people - another lie you have no doubt heard.

Good things do NOT, in fact come to those who wait. From what I can tell, you have to go out and TAKE what you want in life, not even caring if you take it from someone else. It's every man for himself. So work on those rationalization skills. They will come in handy.

And as for the "God has someone for everyone" nonsense, that, my friend, is the biggest lie of all. I mean, look how far that one has gotten ME. In fact, there are plenty of very lonely people in the world, and God, quite frankly, does not give a shit about it at all, as best I can determine. And while I'm on the topic, you can also forget about the 'God does not give you more heartache and pain than you can bear' nonsense. Total lie.

You know, I was like you guys once, for the most part - the straight A student, the 'responsible' one, the one who played by the rules, the one who cared about others and who never wanted to hurt a fly, the one who always wanted to do the Right Thing, the one who cared very much about being kind and decent and fair to others, pleasing her parents, working hard and being smart and expecting rewards to come from that alone. In fact, I'm pretty much still like that (how dumb am I, huh?). Only now, I am no longer under any sort of illusion that any of it will get me anything at all, let alone anything approaching 'happiness', 'justice' or 'fairness' or anything like that. Yes...I still have my 'principles'...but that is ALL I have. And frankly, I'm just not sure it was worth it. In fact, it probably wasn't worth it at all.

Yep...I took the path that you are on. And I can tell you that from my perspective of 15+ years further down the road, that it is not a road you want to be on, my friend.

For me, it is too late. I was a BELIEVER in all of that nonsense, convinced that being a good and decent person would eventually get me what I desired in life (which were not bad things or unreasonable things - in fact, they were much the same things as you want, and quite modest, really). But bottom line - it NEVER happened.

Kissing the right asses and losing your conscience is, in fact, MUCH more important than is being a hard worker...or even being extremely good at your job. Politics will win out EVERY TIME over competence and hard work. And most of the time, not only will the politican win...he will also manage to take credit for all of YOUR hard work in the bargain.

Being beautiful on the outside is, in fact, much more important (especially for a girl) than is being beautiful on the inside. Being beautiful on the outside will open every door. Being a kind and caring and decent person will just get you stomped on as the guys rush in stampede after the hot girl who cares about no one but herself (this holds true for men too, although perhaps less so).

And as for God, Karma, or whatever you want to call a force of 'justice' and 'truth' and 'right' in the world? I'm not sure I even believe in any of it anymore at all. But if there IS a God, I can tell you he sure as hell doesn't give a shit about me. I don't know what you have to do for him TO give a shit about you...maybe he doesn't give a shit about any of us and it is all dumb luck that any of us 'good guys' get even the smallest thing that we want out of life. I don't know. But I can tell you that being a 'good person'...or even a 'good Christian'? Well, that and a couple of bucks will buy you a cup of coffee in this world.

I know that I sound cynical. But that is intended. I simply don't want guys like you and Jetfire to make the same mistakes that I did, and expect things to come out any differently. For you, it is not too late.

My advise? Toughen yourselves up, forget about what's 'right' and 'fair' and 'decent' all of that nonsense, and go out and TAKE what you want using any means necessary. Otherwise, you will end up with nothing but a pile of broken dreams....and alot of anger over the fact that you were such a chump as to believe all the lies.

 

[Amaris]

Some people say that "Good things come to those who wait", but I put about as much credibility into that as I do the idea that "Jesus has someone for each person", (something I heard growing up. If only I'd have known better).

Good you are giving these up early. Because in my experience, they are both a load of crap. As is 'what comes around, goes around' and other such statements regarding any sort of karma or justice or whatever.

In my experience (particularly in the business world), the most ruthless always finish first...and most of the time make damn sure that nice guys don't finish at all. And by the way, Karma NEVER catches up to these people - another lie you have no doubt heard.

Good things do NOT, in fact come to those who wait. From what I can tell, you have to go out and TAKE what you want in life, not even caring if you take it from someone else. It's every man for himself. So work on those rationalization skills. They will come in handy.

And as for the "God has someone for everyone" nonsense, that, my friend, is the biggest lie of all. I mean, look how far that one has gotten ME. In fact, there are plenty of very lonely people in the world, and God, quite frankly, does not give a shit about it at all, as best I can determine. And while I'm on the topic, you can also forget about the 'God does not give you more heartache and pain than you can bear' nonsense. Total lie.

You know, I was like you guys once, for the most part - the straight A student, the 'responsible' one, the one who played by the rules, the one who cared about others and who never wanted to hurt a fly, the one who always wanted to do the Right Thing, the one who cared very much about being kind and decent and fair to others, pleasing her parents, working hard and being smart and expecting rewards to come from that alone. In fact, I'm pretty much still like that (how dumb am I, huh?). Only now, I am no longer under any sort of illusion that any of it will get me anything at all, let alone anything approaching 'happiness', 'justice' or 'fairness' or anything like that. Yes...I still have my 'principles'...but that is ALL I have. And frankly, I'm just not sure it was worth it. In fact, it probably wasn't worth it at all.

Yep...I took the path that you are on. And I can tell you that from my perspective of 15+ years further down the road, that it is not a road you want to be on, my friend.

For me, it is too late. I was a BELIEVER in all of that nonsense, convinced that being a good and decent person would eventually get me what I desired in life (which were not bad things or unreasonable things - in fact, they were much the same things as you want, and quite modest, really). But bottom line - it NEVER happened.

Kissing the right asses and losing your conscience is, in fact, MUCH more important than is being a hard worker...or even being extremely good at your job. Politics will win out EVERY TIME over competence and hard work. And most of the time, not only will the politican win...he will also manage to take credit for all of YOUR hard work in the bargain.

Being beautiful on the outside is, in fact, much more important (especially for a girl) than is being beautiful on the inside. Being beautiful on the outside will open every door. Being a kind and caring and decent person will just get you stomped on as the guys rush in stampede after the hot girl who cares about no one but herself (this holds true for men too, although perhaps less so).

And as for God, Karma, or whatever you want to call a force of 'justice' and 'truth' and 'right' in the world? I'm not sure I even believe in any of it anymore at all. But if there IS a God, I can tell you he sure as hell doesn't give a shit about me. I don't know what you have to do for him TO give a shit about you...maybe he doesn't give a shit about any of us and it is all dumb luck that any of us 'good guys' get even the smallest thing that we want out of life. I don't know. But I can tell you that being a 'good person'...or even a 'good Christian'? Well, that and a couple of bucks will buy you a cup of coffee in this world.

I know that I sound cynical. But that is intended. I simply don't want guys like you and Jetfire to make the same mistakes that I did, and expect things to come out any differently. For you, it is not too late.

My advise? Toughen yourselves up, forget about what's 'right' and 'fair' and 'decent' all of that nonsense, and go out and TAKE what you want using any means necessary. Otherwise, you will end up with nothing but a pile of broken dreams....and alot of anger over the fact that you were such a chump as to believe all the lies.

I seriously needed to hear, er, read that. I have to say, I have started to feel some of that anger and bitterness already. I've always been a nice guy, but anger and cynicism is really starting to cloud my personality. I don't like it because I do enjoy being kind, I love to smile and greet people warmly.

However, my kindness is not my most powerful emotion. I kind of feel I'm betraying myself, but I guess I might as well go on. You spoke very plainly and clearly, and I should be the same. I have another side of me that craves power and authority, power and authority done my way. The kind of authority that says what I want I get, regardless of whether it's "fair" or "right". Once in a great, great, great while, a tiny sliver gets through all of my defenses, but for the most part, people just see kind, compassionate, nice guy John, who is a little absent minded but is sweet and always means well.

I am that person. I am also the person who will ruthlessly get what he wants when he wants it. One of those people see, the other one stays bottled up. I have no doubt that it is the conflicting duality that explains my high blood pressure. When I was much younger it was different. When I wanted something, I got it, because I wanted it. It was that simple. I was a nice guy until someone threatened me or my goals. Hell, in elementary school there was a kid who pushed me out of the way to get to the drinking fountain, well, with no teachers around and just him and me, I (being a good foot and a half shorter than this kid) grabbed him by the shirt, shoved him against the wall, and from the bottom of my throat, staring him straight in the eye, told him that if he ever messed with me again, I would rip his arms off and beat the hell out of him with them. I kid you not. I remember his face, he was scared out of his mind. I don't think anyone had ever done that to him before.

The boy never bothered me again. I never saw him in school again. However, once I got a little older, I learned how to take that power and anger and rage, and lock it all away. Well, fast forward 20 years (I'm 29 now) and it's starting to, little by little, make it's way out. I think I can channel it into something more healthy, but it can't be the way I've been for the past 20 years. This is no longer working for me, as it's leading to social and physical health issues. Hell, I haven't even had sex. Not because there wasn't an opportunity, because God there were many, but I didn't take that opportunity because I was "a good boy". My faith was against it, and like a little drone, I followed that. If I could go back in time and kick my own ass for that, I would.

You know, I have found (and your post confirms it for me), that what people want and what they say they want are two entirely different things. I saw a girl with a piece of garbage I would loosely term a human male, and just wonder why that is.

Certainly there are some women who do look for the sweet, smart, good humored guy to be with for the rest of their lives, but what most women say they want is not what most women want. If I have this correctly, most women do want a smart man, but they want him to be smart, sexy, dashing and the knight in shining armor from the storybooks. The same applies to men. Some men do want that smart, sweet, good humored girl but most of them want a girl from the centerfold, in one way or another. There's more to it, but I'm just making the point that these lies feed on one another.

From my observations, what you say is true. You, of course, have seen it a bit longer than I have, but the fact remains that for most people, the person who would find you (general you) to be the right match is not going to happen. We obfuscate and cloud the truth with "there's someone for everyone". No, no there isn't. These are comforting sayings that older folks say to ease the minds of younger lovelorn friends and family. There is no truth in it. I am glad I learned this sooner rather than later, and I will be doing something about it. Being a good natured doormat earns you nothing but scars and pain.

Whatever I apply my mind and willpower to does come to pass.
I do get what I want. I have refused that power for a very long time.

I think it's time I let it out for a while and see what happens.
Let's see if that drive, determination and charisma still exists.

J.

 

[sidious618]

My advise? Toughen yourselves up, forget about what's 'right' and 'fair' and 'decent' all of that nonsense, and go out and TAKE what you want using any means necessary. Otherwise, you will end up with nothing but a pile of broken dreams....and alot of anger over the fact that you were such a chump as to believe all the lies.

Your advice is terrible. At least in my case it is. While no one should be a door mat and everyone should go out and try their best to get what they want violating one's principles is a great way to put yourself down the path of self-destruction. I used to be like that, ignoring what I thought was the right thing to do in order to get ahead or to easily skate around something and I've regretted it every single time. I can't live with myself if I act like that.

So am I going to screw someone over to get ahead? Stab someone in the back? No, I'm not. Maybe if I do that I'll get a raise or get a lofty position but if that's all I'm in life for then life ain't worth living.

I spent seven years denying who I was in order to fit right on in and get ahead. I screwed people over, yeah. I got what I wanted. Or at least what I thought I wanted. Then one day I realized that I hated myself because of those types of actions. I hated denying who I was and what I believed in. I was tired of not saying what I thought and not acting the way I wanted to. Maybe I won't "get ahead" of everyone else but I will, and to some extent do, have the thing that so many people lack: happiness.

 

[Amaris]

My advise? Toughen yourselves up, forget about what's 'right' and 'fair' and 'decent' all of that nonsense, and go out and TAKE what you want using any means necessary. Otherwise, you will end up with nothing but a pile of broken dreams....and alot of anger over the fact that you were such a chump as to believe all the lies.

Your advice is terrible. At least in my case it is. While no one should be a door mat and everyone should go out and try their best to get what they want violating one's principles is a great way to put yourself down the path of self-destruction. I used to be like that, ignoring what I thought was the right thing to do in order to get ahead or to easily skate around something and I've regretted it every single time. I can't live with myself if I act like that.

So am I going to screw someone over to get ahead? Stab someone in the back? No, I'm not. Maybe if I do that I'll get a raise or get a lofty position but if that's all I'm in life for then life ain't worth living.

I spent seven years denying who I was in order to fit right on in and get ahead. I screwed people over, yeah. I got what I wanted. Or at least what I thought I wanted. Then one day I realized that I hated myself because of those types of actions. I hated denying who I was and what I believed in. I was tired of not saying what I thought and not acting the way I wanted to. Maybe I won't "get ahead" of everyone else but I will, and to some extent do, have the thing that so many people lack: happiness.

Her advice is pretty sound. The nicer, more good natured you are, the more people will use and abuse you. PKTrekGirl isn't saying you can't or shouldn't be nice, she's saying that if you want something go get it. In other words, "all is fair in love and war". If you're too nice, believe me, someone else who isn't so nice will take what you want, and will spit in your face doing it. Other sayings along this line are "Lead, follow or get out of the way" and "Either shit or get off the pot".

Kind, sweet, expectation leads to nothing but heartache and bitterness. The reason goodhearted people turn cold is because there are assholes who will abuse them until they have nothing left. It is best to protect the good heart beneath a stronger, more durable armor. Save the good hearted compassion for the people who deserve it, and the rest can interact with the more powerful, more assured, more capable "you".

Best quote I ever heard along these lines was in the movie Leap of Faith. Jonas Nightengale, the preacher, who in his darkest moments let slip some honesty:

Hey boss. Remember me? Jack Newton. Got a question for you. Why did you make so many suckers? You say, 'love never endeth.' I say love never started! You say 'the meek shall inherit the earth.' And I say all the meek can count on is getting the short end of the stick! You say, 'is there one among you who is pure of heart?' and I say not one!

J.

 

[Gepard]

J., it sounds like you and PK are equating "nice" with "doormat." Going out and getting what one wants in life doesn't need to overlap with being a dick about it, so I don't buy the idea that being "too nice" will result in all the opportunities being taken away by others. It's also possible – and advisable – to set boundaries and be willing to say "no" to somebody if you need to. If you can't do that, people will take advantage of you, and no amount of ruthlessness will save you from that.

Gep, douchbag.

 

[Amaris]

J., it sounds like you and PK are equating "nice" with "doormat." Going out and getting what one wants in life doesn't need to overlap with being a dick about it, so I don't buy the idea that being "too nice" will result in all the opportunities being taken away by others. It's also possible – and advisable – to set boundaries and be willing to say "no" to somebody if you need to. If you can't do that, people will take advantage of you, and no amount of ruthlessness will save you from that.

Gep, douchbag.

I'm not equating nice with doormat and I don't think PK is either. However, being exceptionally nice, going out of your way to be nice, in that lies good natured servitude.

J.

 

[sidious618]

Her advice is pretty sound.

Not even close.

The nicer, more good natured you are, the more people will use and abuse you.

No, not at all. You're making the mistake of being nice=being a push over. They're not the same at all. Someone can be nice but still get angry and stand up for themselves.

PKTrekGirl isn't saying you can't or shouldn't be nice[...]

Maybe it's not what she meant but it sure read that way to me.

If you're too nice, believe me, someone else who isn't so nice will take what you want, and will spit in your face doing it.

The key word there is "too." Too much of anything is bad. Well, for most things.

Kind, sweet, expectation leads to nothing but heartache and bitterness.

Ever hear of the expression "Hope for the best but prepare for the worst?" It's a good expression to embrace.

Save the good hearted compassion for the people who deserve it, and the rest can interact with the more powerful, more assured, more capable "you".

I do my best to have only one "me." Otherwise I'd think I'd be false. Sure, some people might see a more irritated side but that's because they irritate me, not because I suddenly change into someone else in their presence.

Best quote I ever heard along these lines was in the movie Leap of Faith. Jonas Nightengale, the preacher, who in his darkest moments let slip some honesty:

Best quote I ever heard about this type of thing was from the show House as House at his worst is essentially the person you and PK are describing:

(To House) "You pretend to buck the system, pretend to be a rebel, claim to hate rules. But all you do is substitute your own rules for society's. That's a nice, simple rule — tell the blunt, honest truth in the starkest, darkest way. And what will be, will be. What will be, should be. And everyone else is a coward. But you're wrong. Someone cowardly should not call someone an idiot. People aren't tactful or polite just because it's nice. They do it because they've got an ounce of humility. Because they know that they will make mistakes, and they know that their actions have consequences, and they know that those consequences are their fault. Why do you want so badly not to be human, House?"

And then later on...

The ex-patient who shot House: "That's all right, you don't have to say anything. Just let me soak into your subconscious. You think that the only truth that matters is the truth that can be measured. Good intentions don't count, what's in your heart doesn't count, caring doesn't count, that a man's life can't be measured by how many tears are shed when he dies. It's because you can't measure them. It's because you don't want to measure them. Doesn't mean it's not real. And even if I'm wrong, you're still miserable. Did you really think that your life's purpose was to sacrifice yourself and get nothing in return? No.... You believe there is no purpose to anything. Even the lives you save you dismiss. You turn the one decent thing in your life and you taint it, strip it of all meaning. You're miserable for nothing. I don't know why you'd want to live."

That last line reflects what I said in my last post. If I gotta throw everything away that makes me tick, principles and personality being a big part of that, then I don't want to live. But I don't do that so I do want to live.

 

[Gepard]

However, being exceptionally nice, going out of your way to be nice, in that lies good natured servitude.

But that's exactly what I'm saying – you're letting other people walk all over you in the name of niceness, and like sidious just said, that's being a pushover.

For example, I hold doors open for people in stores all the time. Men, women, kids, whole families, doesn't matter, People appreciate it. It feels good to do a small nice thing for someone. But that doesn't mean I ignore what I need or want out of life in favor of somebody else, and I've never had anything nice I've done for somebody turn into some kind of "servitude." It's knowing where to draw the line that's important, and not ignoring myself if I need to do something for me.

 

[sidious618]

No one is saying that you should not try your damnedest to get what you want. But to throw away your hopes, principles and personality because, hey, life can be tough sometimes? I'd never want to live that life.

 

[Kestra]

Good things do NOT, in fact come to those who wait. From what I can tell, you have to go out and TAKE what you want in life, not even caring if you take it from someone else. It's every man for himself.

I agree that good things don't come to someone who waits, but that's because I believe in taking action and actively seeking that which you want. I don't believe in taking from other people solely for my own benefit.

Yes...I still have my 'principles'...but that is ALL I have. And frankly, I'm just not sure it was worth it. In fact, it probably wasn't worth it at all.

Honestly, it doesn't sound like you have your principles. It sounds like they've changed and the principles you have now are entirely different than those you once believed in.

For me, it is too late. I was a BELIEVER in all of that nonsense, convinced that being a good and decent person would eventually get me what I desired in life (which were not bad things or unreasonable things - in fact, they were much the same things as you want, and quite modest, really). But bottom line - it NEVER happened.

Being a good and decent person doesn't necessarily equate to certain rewards. Some people believe in being good and decent just for the sake of being good and decent. Life isn't fair, and people aren't rewarded for every good act that they do, but that doesn't mean that doing what you believe to be the right thing is nonsense.

Kissing the right asses and losing your conscience is, in fact, MUCH more important than is being a hard worker...or even being extremely good at your job. Politics will win out EVERY TIME over competence and hard work. And most of the time, not only will the politican win...he will also manage to take credit for all of YOUR hard work in the bargain.

Again, I have to disagree. It depends on what your priorities are. My husband and I had this discussion the other day when I was doing a take-home exam. He offered to help with it, and I declined because that's against the rules. He was like "Okay, if you'd rather be ethical than successful, that's up to you." But I do not believe the two to be mutually exclusive. Yes there are things that I could gain if I changed some of my principles, but those principles are more important to me than what I would gain from ignoring them.

Being beautiful on the outside is, in fact, much more important (especially for a girl) than is being beautiful on the inside. Being beautiful on the outside will open every door. Being a kind and caring and decent person will just get you stomped on as the guys rush in stampede after the hot girl who cares about no one but herself (this holds true for men too, although perhaps less so).

Being beautiful does have its benefits. Being kind and caring has its benefits as well. Once again, you may choose to do as you like, but I absolutely refuse to believe that superficiality wins out over other traits 100% of the time.



On to other things ... my ten year plan includes getting a B.A. in psychology and then doing either an Ed.S. in School Psychology or a Psy.D. in Clinical Psychology. All very lofty from where I'm sitting right now. The rest is up in the air. Ten years from now I'd like to have had children, be more settled into family life, etc. I really want that. But current circumstances limit my thoughts in that direction. I'm focusing on school and I'll take the rest as it comes.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

I hope, I hope, I hope that in ten years time I have children. That's my one real ambition. I want children; but first I have to find a woman to enter into a long-term relationship with. Which is difficult, because a) very few women want a husband who stays home and looks after children while she works to support them all, and b) women like me. I've always had close friends of both sexes, with no distinction in how I relate to or spend time with them. I've found that when someone gets on with the other sex just as well as they do with their own, they're unlikely to be considered attractive or desirable. I guess men and women tend to view relationships in terms of masculine/feminine distinctions, complimenting each other, that sort of idea. That isn't something that works when you don't distinguish sex-wise in terms of friendships and relations. I've lost count of the number of female friends who have told me, with genuine belief, that I'd be a "great husband", but, tellingly, none of them are ever looking for a man like me. I'll be a "great husband" for the semi-mythical woman to whom I'm not a friend, apparently .

Did I mention I want children?

 

[Peach Wookiee]

I'd also rather be true to myself than what others think I should be. I've tried the other path, but at the end of the day, I've had to look myself in the mirror.

 

[Goji]

Damn, I wanted to have the most cynical post in this thread. I posted too soon.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Personally, I don't understand why so many people are so anxious for success. Yeah, being a considerate, ethical, "nice" person gets you nowhere fast, but so what? Why the compulsion to do so? Unless you truly believe good people deserve good outcomes, what does it matter?

I will never convert to the "take what you want by any means kick-others-in-the-groin-or-they'll-do-it-to-you" ideology some people are promoting here. I've had quite enough of that. Show people there's a better way. Treat people with kindness, empathy, respect, etc, co-operate and be sensitive to their concerns, and sooner or later they'll start doing the same. That's what I find, anyway. Refuse to participate in such a toxic system, and others will soon do the same.

I myself have been treated very, very poorly thanks to society' encouragement of ruthless competition and selfishness. I want no part of it, not if it means anyone else has to suffer what I did. Because if I support and justify the system by behaving that way myself, I am condemning others like me to suffer, no?

Of course, unlike many people I never had an aggressive or competitive drive, so maybe it's easier for me?

 

[sidious618]

It's funny; people that do get ahead by those methods and become wealthy seem to end up spending it on therapty an awful lot of the time.

 

[Emher]

I'm not going to get into what PK and J. have been talking about, because I recognise myself in that, and if I start talking about it now, I won't get anything done today. What I will say is what I want in the next ten years:

- A job I like that pays decent. Should be so hard but sure as hell is.
- My car. I just want my Camaro, new and payed for by me before they change the design of it.
- A girlfriend who loves me. Also somethings that's way harder then it sounds like.
- Maybe a house.
- 80 lbs less of weight.
- New wardrobe because of weight loss.

That's all I want. That's all I want in ten freaking years. Surely I should be able to achieve at least a few of those.

 

[Kira Nerys]

To live each day .
Go to college .

 

[Deks]

PK and J expressed aspects that also describe somewhat the progress of my own life as well.
Being from Croatia (where I never felt I belonged) is not one of the most contributing factors really due to the extreme limitations of movements.
I was able to leave the country and come to London as a student, but I got an extremely short end of the stick from the entire ordeal.
The visa was initially denied twice for no logical reasons. After I filed for the appeal and finally got it, it wasn't even for a full year (to cover my course), but 11 months.
Not to mention the fact it was ridiculous that I was unable to find a part-time job over the past 9 and a half months (I searched in virtually all industries both on foot and online).
I hoped it would be possible to find a part-time job, save up more money so I can extend the visa, and remain in London until Croatia enters EU, so I won't have to leave.
Alas, due to the UK government changing regulations and increasing financial requirements when it comes to visas to exponentially high ones, it's impossible to do so (in fact, schools and unis are losing students as a result ... which also begs the question as to how will this reflect on UK as a whole, since plenty of money they have comes from internationals).

So, right now, my plan would be to return to Zagreb (reluctantly), stabilize my finances and save up money, possibly get a few more certificates, and wait until Croatia is finally in EU (which should happen within about 2 years max) so I can leave it once and for all.
Make no mistake, I absolutely don't like my own country, nor do I want to live there, but I am forced to do so.
Oh I agree that there is an option of remaining illegally, but just what kind of existence would that result into?
Also, I'd be damaging myself in the long run after Croatia does enter EU.

I actually had job offers here in London ... of course all of those exceeded 20 hours per week, and once I told them of my student limitations (which they should have been aware of from the CV to begin with), they couldn't do anything really (because all employers want people who have the ability to work without restrictions, and messing with the paperwork for a work permit is just something they don't want to go into ... and bending the rules of course is out of the question).

So ... my plan for the next 10 years?
I don't like to plan too far ahead for one thing.
I will go on with my premise to try and make the most of it in London before I have to leave, so that when I do come back, it will be under better conditions (because then, I won't be subject to idiotic immigration rules or have to deal with moronic ECO's who deny visas on a whim regardless if you satisfied all of the requirements or not).

I could explore one more option ... it's perfectly legal, and while I might actually win under those grounds (would have to consult with a solicitor before doing it though), it doesn't come without it's own potential problems.

I just feel that going back to Zagreb (regardless of how 'fairly modern' it may be in certain aspects) is a huge step backward, and could ultimately result in bringing me down even more.

It's like this: every time I come to London and settle in, it inevitably feels like it's being ripped away from me.
I don't want a family ... nor do I want kids.
I just want the ability to live, work and contribute in London ... oh and possibly a bf.
Croatia/Zagreb are just too pathetic/primitive (in my opinion) for something like that.

 

[Timby]

Ten years ago, I was 15, muddling through high school, planning on going to college for broadcast journalism to be in sports radio. Never had any thoughts of settling down, just being a mercenary for hire and going wherever the money took me. I also never planned on leaving Chicago.

Today, I'm 25, living in Dubuque, Iowa, with degrees in journalism and public relations, a partner in and the editorial director of a communication and software development firm, married, with an affordable apartment in a beautiful part of town. Several years ago, I apprenticed under one of the finest chefs in the upper Midwest, and learned how to be one hell of a cook (so, really, if my current endeavors go south, I can always fall back on my ability to apply to any restaurant kitchen and go nuts, even if it's something so mundane as the garde manger position). I'm also the assistant coordinator for the Iowa-Illinois-Wisconsin region of the Marine Corps Toys For Tots program, which is one of the most rewarding things I've ever done in my life.

Given how drastically my life changed in the last ten years, it's rather impossible to imagine where I plan to be ten years in the future. Assuming that I'm still married, I'm sure I'll have a McChitlin' or two of my own by that time. I have to imagine that my firm will continue going strong, considering that in the current economy, we've been more profitable than ever. I plan on running for the City Council one day, although I doubt that's going to happen in the next ten years.

But, really, who's to say? Like Bill Hicks said,

The world is like a ride at an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it, you think it's real, because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round and it has thrills and chills and it's very brightly colored and it's very loud. And it's fun, for a while.

Some people have been on the ride for a long time, and they begin to question: 'Is this real? Or is this just a ride?' And other people have remembered, and they come back to us and they say 'Hey! Don't worry, don't be afraid - ever - because ... it's just a ride.'

And we ... kill those people.

 

[ThankQ]

Step 1: spend the next 4-5 years or so in college working toward a degree in marketing.

Step 2: ???

Step 3: Profit.

He's either a Republican... or a Ferangi.