Would you turn in a family member?
- Thread starter Nerys Ghemor
- Start date
Depends on the seriousness and nature/motive of the crime, how sure I was that they committed it, the closeness of the family member, and the likely consequences of turning them in.
If an immediate family member committed murder and there weren't any mitigating circumstances, then yes, I would turn them in, preferably after trying to convince them to turn themselves in first. I would continue to support them throughout their trial and incarceration, but I couldn't cover up a crime that resulted in intentionally killing someone else (without mitigating circumstances like acting in self-defense).
If an immediate family member committed murder and there weren't any mitigating circumstances, then yes, I would turn them in, preferably after trying to convince them to turn themselves in first. I would continue to support them throughout their trial and incarceration, but I couldn't cover up a crime that resulted in intentionally killing someone else (without mitigating circumstances like acting in self-defense).
All those who voted the first option: you should tell your family about the thread and how you voted. ;-)
This is all a "head versus heart" argument at the end of the day, isn't it?
Yet if you ask me, if you love someone, you must let them face justice by the appropriate authorities. It's what the most caring family would do, by helping the guilty party understand what they've done and where appropriate serve their punishment. This shouldn't mean you should stop supporting them, of course. If the love of your family doesn't lead to obstruction of justice, then you are doing very well.
Ultimately, whether you protect them or turn them in, what goes around comes around. (It's true, I saw it on EastEnders.)
Yet if you ask me, if you love someone, you must let them face justice by the appropriate authorities. It's what the most caring family would do, by helping the guilty party understand what they've done and where appropriate serve their punishment. This shouldn't mean you should stop supporting them, of course. If the love of your family doesn't lead to obstruction of justice, then you are doing very well.
Ultimately, whether you protect them or turn them in, what goes around comes around. (It's true, I saw it on EastEnders.)
Well, I didn't vote for the first option (I chose the fourth) but this subject has come up in a family discussion before and we all agreed with it in the circumstances I mentioned above.
The subject came up because a distant relative had murdered his wife.
I probably would not turn a family member in under any circumstances, but I might try to convince him to do it on his own, especially if it's a really serious crime.
I think, as with many people, it would depend on what they did.
If it was just some misdemeanour, then no, I wouldn't report them.
My brother is a police officer, and he routinely overlooks our dad's violations of Canada's firearms regulations, whenever he comes to the farm. It's become a standing joke in the family.
You expect family members to exercise a little influence on each other's behalf, and to do each other little favours. Overlooking misdemeanours falls under that category, IMHO.
But if they commit some kind of serious crime--they're on their own.
At the very least, I wouldn't help them--and if they came to me for help, I'd tell them to fuck off. If they tried to call me, I'd hang up on them. If they cared about the rest of the family, they wouldn't try to make us accessories. If they cared about the rest of the family, I would expect them to do the right thing, and protect the rest of us from the consequences of their fuckup.
If it was just some misdemeanour, then no, I wouldn't report them.
My brother is a police officer, and he routinely overlooks our dad's violations of Canada's firearms regulations, whenever he comes to the farm. It's become a standing joke in the family.
You expect family members to exercise a little influence on each other's behalf, and to do each other little favours. Overlooking misdemeanours falls under that category, IMHO.
But if they commit some kind of serious crime--they're on their own.
At the very least, I wouldn't help them--and if they came to me for help, I'd tell them to fuck off. If they tried to call me, I'd hang up on them. If they cared about the rest of the family, they wouldn't try to make us accessories. If they cared about the rest of the family, I would expect them to do the right thing, and protect the rest of us from the consequences of their fuckup.
Actually, police officers exercise some pretty wide discretionary powers.
If they had a legal responsibility to apprehend every single lawbreaker, then they'd never let anyone off with a warning for traffic offences.
I guess you could say that you look past your dad's firearm violation as well.
I don't know what you mean. What firearms?
I might. It would depend on the crime, whether I believed they did it and even how close I am to that family member. I wouldn't be surprised if there was a situation where I'd take the rap for a crime committed by another close family member out of family loyalty...not sure exactly what it would be but I can be stupidly loyal to people to my own detriment (though in those case it was not anything remotely serious or criminal).
My decision would be a from my own ethical interpretation of whatever they have done. Whether I thought they deserved to be locked up, and completely independent of what the law says.
While at the same time I'd also consider the impact their incarceration on others, and to a greater extent, on me
Justice is good. But Compassion is often a greater good, since Justice can often be inhumane. Often a more humane form of justice is a personal justice. This would also be a consideration.
Hypothetically, if it were a partner who had shoplifted and been caught, then I'd suffer their incarceration financially should that happen. But if they were dealing drugs and unsavory people were visiting the house and bothering me, then I'd benefit from their incarceration that way.
There are many factors.
It comes back to the old riddle of weighting virtues against one another.
While at the same time I'd also consider the impact their incarceration on others, and to a greater extent, on me
Justice is good. But Compassion is often a greater good, since Justice can often be inhumane. Often a more humane form of justice is a personal justice. This would also be a consideration.
Hypothetically, if it were a partner who had shoplifted and been caught, then I'd suffer their incarceration financially should that happen. But if they were dealing drugs and unsavory people were visiting the house and bothering me, then I'd benefit from their incarceration that way.
There are many factors.
It comes back to the old riddle of weighting virtues against one another.
Hell, I've got a pretty good close real life experience of it here lately. One of my dumbass cousin came to the store my wife works at and stole several hundred dollars of merchandise. His girlfriend's mother called the next morning and ratted him out. The wife's boss talked to me and wanted to know if I wanted to handle it, him being family, or let the cops handle it. I told her to call the cops and let his ass rot in county lock up.
rape or murder? hells yeah.
child pron? yeah.
child abuse? hells yeah
nicking a choccy bar? nope, that'd be hypocrisy.
car accident? yeah.
GTA? assault? possibly.
child pron? yeah.
child abuse? hells yeah
nicking a choccy bar? nope, that'd be hypocrisy.
car accident? yeah.
GTA? assault? possibly.
Yep. To be honest, I'd be afraid that they'd do something to me. Course, after they got out they really would do something if I'd turned them in.
Guess I'd have to ask the DA if there was enough reward money to relocate.
Guess I'd have to ask the DA if there was enough reward money to relocate.
I suppose you're right.
Reminds me of an SVU episode a few weeks ago. Stabler found out that one of his daughters had broken into a house and stolen a bunch of stuff. He intentionally allowed her to go to jail because it was the only way that she would admit she needed help (she had serious bipolar disorder).
Turn in a family member? In a New York minute.
Bout the same, unless there was an ongoing threat of some kind.
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