Worst science goofs

[ATimson]

After reading Allegiance in Exile, I decided to reread The Lost Years. Most of the way through, I came across this humdinger:

She programmed the computer to send out a distress signal on a frequency monitors by all Romulan vessels. It warned of the ship's imminent destruction, and instructed all vessels to stay clear. The effects of the explosion would be felt over an area of roughly one square parsec.

Area, volume, what's a dimension between friends? What other fun science goofs have you noted in TrekLit?

(The Hobus Supernova is well-trodden ground already.)

 

[F. King Daniel]

William Rotsler's Star Trek II Short Stories. Hilarious quote from Admiral Tatenen, to Admiral Kirk, about the Klingons: "You give them a parsec and they'll take a light-year, son!"

The Klingons of Kirk's era were apparently somewhat cautious

 

[Garrovick]

There was a star system in Black Fire that contained a star so large that it took the Enterprise 3 days at warp speed to transit from one side of it to the other. That's some star!

 

[Therin of Andor]

What other fun science goofs have you noted in TrekLit?

In the DC Comics "Grond vs Ajir" two-parter by Diane Duane, Kirk needed to get the Enterprise to safety, so he ordered Sulu to perform a 360 degree turn to escape an alien vessel!

 

[ryan123450]

These are hilarious!

 

[Thrawn]

William Rotsler's Star Trek II Short Stories. Hilarious quote from Admiral Tatenen, to Admiral Kirk, about the Klingons: "You give them a parsec and they'll take a light-year, son!"

The Klingons of Kirk's era were apparently somewhat cautious

That's awesome

 

[Christopher]

Yeah, Rotsler's books had some serious moments of Did Not Do the Research in them. Like in Star Trek II Biographies where he claimed that Pavel Andreievich Chekov's father was named Alexei.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

William Rotsler's Star Trek II Short Stories. Hilarious quote from Admiral Tatenen, to Admiral Kirk, about the Klingons: "You give them a parsec and they'll take a light-year, son!"

The Klingons of Kirk's era were apparently somewhat cautious

Countdown to the inevitable Han Solo reference in 5...4...3...

 

[T'Ressa Dax]

William Rotsler's Star Trek II Short Stories. Hilarious quote from Admiral Tatenen, to Admiral Kirk, about the Klingons: "You give them a parsec and they'll take a light-year, son!"

The Klingons of Kirk's era were apparently somewhat cautious

Countdown to the inevitable Han Solo reference in 5...4...3...

Are those seconds or parsecs? I've wondered if somehow someone noticed the 'sec' part and decided par must be a portion of a second!

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Are those seconds or parsecs? I've wondered if somehow someone noticed the 'sec' part and decided par must be a portion of a second!

The sec in parsec does mean second, just a second of arc, not of time. Parsec means having a parallax of one second of arc [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parsec].

 

[ATimson]

William Rotsler's Star Trek II Short Stories. Hilarious quote from Admiral Tatenen, to Admiral Kirk, about the Klingons: "You give them a parsec and they'll take a light-year, son!"

The Klingons of Kirk's era were apparently somewhat cautious

Countdown to the inevitable Han Solo reference in 5...4...3...

Ann Crispin managed a decent retcon of that in her Star Wars novels, though, so I'll let that slide.

 

[Christopher]

I've heard that Han Solo's "parsecs" line was an intentional flub by Lucas, to show that Solo was a blowhard who didn't quite know what he was talking about. I think there's actually something about that in the script.

 

[CorporalCaptain]

I've heard that Han Solo's "parsecs" line was an intentional flub by Lucas, to show that Solo was a blowhard who didn't quite know what he was talking about. I think there's actually something about that in the script.

Ford's delivery and Sir Alec's look of "yeah, right" certainly make the scene play that way.

 

[Silvercrest]

I've heard that Han Solo's "parsecs" line was an intentional flub by Lucas, to show that Lucas was a blowhard who didn't quite know what he was talking about. I think there's actually something about that in the script.

Fixed that for you.

No, seriously, I've heard the Solo thing before, but it never made much sense to me. Why Kenobi consider going on such an urgent mission with someone who didn't know the basics of space navigation?

Anyway, given Lucas' history of changing his story, this just sounds like another instance. But if it actually is in the script....

 

[CorporalCaptain]

I think it's more a question of Han trying to impress who he assumes are just a couple of local hicks than him not knowing the basics of space navigation.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

I think it's more a question of Han trying to impress who he assumes are just a couple of local hicks than him not knowing the basics of space navigation.

Obviously inexperienced farm boy and old man with dated mannerisms: "We want to go to a big important planet on the other side of the galaxy, now, because we're apparently in trouble with the law or something, or else we've pissed off someone we shouldn't have".

Han: "Well, you've come to the right place. My ship made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs...And it has a point-five doohickeytron engine with bullshit injectors".

Farm boy (wide-eyed ignorance): "Really?"

Old man (Trusting): "Why, that does sound impressive, good sir".

Han: "Yep! Which is why I'm charging the perfectly normal rate of half a zillion credits which, being such experienced space travellers, you know is a good bargain!"

Or something.

 

[Silvercrest]

That fits the scene; it just doesn't exactly fit with what Lucas said about Solo not knowing what he's talking about.

On the original topic, I once saw a passage from a pre-Kirk novel about the Enterprise where a guy ran into a room that had been evacuated of atmosphere and instantly froze solid as a result. Ummm... I don't think it works that way....

The artificial gravity was also off, so the guy also sailed across the room, hit the opposite wall, and shattered. Just to underscore the point that he was frozen. solid.

Anyone remember this novel? Was something else supposed to be at work there, or am I getting the particulars wrong?

 

[TJ Sinclair]

^That's in Diane Carey's Final Frontier. Which, regardless of many things, is still my favorite Trek novel.

 

[Christopher]

That fits the scene; it just doesn't exactly fit with what Lucas said about Solo not knowing what he's talking about.

Well, to be fair, that's what I said, and I may not have remembered it exactly right. Maybe what other posters suggested above was right, that it was more about him being a con artist.

On the original topic, I once saw a passage from a pre-Kirk novel about the Enterprise where a guy ran into a room that had been evacuated of atmosphere and instantly froze solid as a result. Ummm... I don't think it works that way....

Oh, absolutely not. As anyone who's ever used a thermos should know (but sadly doesn't), vacuum is an insulator. You lose heat far more slowly in vacuum than you do in air or water, because there's no conduction or convection to take heat away from your body. Space travellers have more to worry about from overheating, which is why spacesuits have cooling systems built in, not heating systems.

The artificial gravity was also off, so the guy also sailed across the room, hit the opposite wall, and shattered. Just to underscore the point that he was frozen. solid.

Which doesn't work either. Even if you flash-froze a body with liquid nitrogen, there's a limit to how fast the heat can be leached out of the body, so the surface would be frozen but the interior wouldn't. And even a body frozen solid all the way through wouldn't shatter like ice; that's a myth. There's still plenty of tissue and stuff in there that wouldn't become that brittle.

 

[Silvercrest]

Actually I remember the Lucas story the same way you told it, except I've never seen anything that says it's in the script. I first read it in the letters page of the Marvel Comics adaptation of the original movie. Some readers were complaining about the parsec thing. The editors quoted Lucas (who had already come up with this response for someone else) as saying that Han is the sort of bull artist who doesn't always know what he's talking about.

Well, someone is, anyway....

I wasn't sure I was remembering the Carey novel correctly, but I guess I am. I was hoping that there was a technobabble explanation for the freezing. (I can excuse the brittleness if we had that.)

So she actually wrote that momentary exposure to vacuum will flash-freeze a human body?

Just... wow....