Women’s issues - bodily functions and such

[KimMH]

Home for the third day in a row sick, so posting a pic from better days.

I’m sorry to hear your news Tribblefeeder- I hope things get better for you -your nephew is a little sweetie!

@Marynator - the work situation describe would incense me and I know it’s commonplace.


Edited to add: the pic is sideways and not sure how I did that. Am too grumpy to fool with it right now. Gaaaaaah

 

[Marynator]

You look amazing! Also you look much younger than I imagined from some of your posts. I hope you feel better soon ... do you just have a bad cold, or something more serious?

 

[KimMH]

You look amazing! Also you look much younger than I imagined from some of your posts. I hope you feel better soon ... do you just have a bad cold, or something more serious?

Thanks sweetie. I feel younger now I’ve caved in and covered my roots lol!

Just a garden variety flu-ish thing, thanks.

 

[May 20]

Hope you're feeling better soon!

 

[Refuge]

View attachment 9172

Home for the third day in a row sick, so posting a pic from better days.

Yay Kimmie! (Not that you're sick, but the pic).

 

[KimMH]

Hope you're feeling better soon!

Thank you - am going back tomorrow to make sure the place hasn’t blown up without me!

Yay Kimmie! (Not that you're sick, but the pic).

Thank you - I know it’s funny sometimes “liking” a post that has less than great news. I do like the relative simplicity of the site though so I’m good!

 

[Avro Arrow]

I’m spending a lot of time on my own lately. Me and my husband are having some problems so I moved in with my sister. I don’t know if it’s going to be temporary or permanent, but it sure fucking sucks.

I'm so sorry to hear that. Sending you my best.

And your nephew is absolutely ADORABLE!!

But that's his MO all the time, he starts trying to make himself look smart when he really doesn't know what he's talking about.

Reminds me of a time not too long ago, when we had an external contractor come in, and he proceeded to mansplain to me how one of my own applications worked... incorrectly, of course.

"Um, you know I wrote that, right??"

 

[thestrangequark]

I was away from the board for awhile, and a lot happened.One of the biggest was a "woman's issue." All my life I thought that if I were ever to have kids, I'd adopt -- after all, with so many children in need of loving parents, how could an ethical person consider anything else? Then, in my late twenties my biological clock started shouting, rather than ticking in my ears: "Fave a baby! have a babe! NOW NOW NOW!"
Las year I got pregnant. I was with a partner who is a good person, but to whom I have no real commitment. One condom broke, and another slipped off. I can't take birth control for my own health reasons. I realized the possibility quite early on, and was left with the dilemma over whether to abort -- I was in no position emotionally, personally, professionally, or financially to have a child, and neither was he. I'm also high risk, as a type 1 diabetic. But I was also 35...how much longer do I even have the choice? Could this be my only chance to have my own baby? Would she kill me?
In the end, my body made up my mind for me and miscarried only a couple months in. It was really just like the worst period ever.
I dunno, we were talking about music in another thread, and while I'd heard this song before, It has new meaning for me now.

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[rhubarbodendron]

welcome back, tsq! We missed you!
A miscarriage must be a very stressful experience, I imagine. But on the other hand it was most likely for the best, considering your health. And from the pov of a biologist: miscarriages usually happen when the fetus has some sort of severe genetical or developmental flaw. So the baby got spared a horrid - and propably very short - life of surgeries, machines, lifelong disability and propably a very slow death. And you got spared having to watch all that. (I know it sounds heartless. It's not meant to be that but to be a logical analsysis. Sorta the Vulkan pov.)
And you still have the option of adopting children and finding the ideal partner for raising them.

 

[May 20]

Welcome back, tsq. I'm very sorry for your loss. Like many of us, I lost a baby, too. He would have been 14 by now. I hope you are healing. And, if you need/want to talk about it or anything else, please know you can talk here or message me. (((hugs)))

 

[thestrangequark]

Thanks guys. I can see by the typos and my vague-ish memory that the Ambien was kicking in when I wrote that, lol. It really wasn't that bad, I know many (most?) women miscarry without even knowing they're pregnant, and I think that if it had come to choosing, that would have been much harder on me. Still, it's got me thinking about kids a lot more than I used to. I also tend to have slightly irregular periods, so now I'm a little paranoid almost every month!

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

welcome back, tsq! We missed you!
A miscarriage must be a very stressful experience, I imagine. But on the other hand it was most likely for the best, .

Just as a reminder it's really not a good way to offer sympathy when someone tells you about something sad that has happened to reply that it is probably for the best. This can be quite devastating to hear and it's better to find ways to express sympathy for the pain someone's going through rather than telling them it's ultimately beneficial.

And tsq I am sorry. That is a painful, sad thing to happen

 

[KimMH]

I’m so sorry TSQ. Having the decision taken from you doesn’t make the dilemma any easier to face. I hope you’ll find some serenity and solace and hope. All my squishy hugs.

 

[T'Bonz]

Yep. Losing a baby is tough. As said, it is quite common. I lost my first at 15 months. That child would have been 35. I still think about him/her.

Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself.

Just as a reminder it's really not a good way to offer sympathy when someone tells you about something sad that has happened to reply that it is probably for the best.

As someone who has miscarried (4th month), I disagree. It helped me to know that at the time I lost the baby, it was most probably a genetic issue. I know I wouldn't have wanted my child to have suffered, so I knew it was for the best. Plus - I drew comfort in that this has happened to many women. I didn't know that before the miscarriage. After it happened and people found out, they started talking.

It eased the pain, just a bit. But of course, YMMV.

 

[thestrangequark]

Thanks all of you. I am actually okay. It was awhile ago, but something I just started sharing, and something that helps to share. It wasn't really too traumatic, like I said, I think choosing would have been far more so. I do actually know a fair amount (for a layperson) about spontaneous abortions, and I've always known that the odds of me having a successful pregnancy aren't great. I still want my real goal of adopting older kids -- but I'll need a bit more life stability for that! Nevertheless, I understand now what it's like to wonder who that baby might have been.
My therapist just wants me to be more communicative about my problems, and this seemed like a good space to share.

 

[KimMH]

Thanks all of you. I am actually okay. It was awhile ago, but something I just started sharing, and something that helps to share. It wasn't really too traumatic, like I said, I think choosing would have been far more so. I do actually know a fair amount (for a layperson) about spontaneous abortions, and I've always known that the odds of me having a successful pregnancy aren't great. I still want my real goal of adopting older kids -- but I'll need a bit more life stability for that! Nevertheless, I understand now what it's like to wonder who that baby might have been.
My therapist just wants me to be more communicative about my problems, and this seemed like a good space to share.

We appreciate your trust. Hugs

 

[TribbleFeeder]

I hope you can solve your problems. Good luck!

I’m sorry to hear your news Tribblefeeder- I hope things get better for you -your nephew is a little sweetie!

I'm so sorry to hear that. Sending you my best.

And your nephew is absolutely ADORABLE!!

Thank you, friends. You’re all wonderful and supportive people and I’m grateful you’re all here. Sometimes you just need to hear well wishes.

It’s a lot better than the constant advice that’s been spewed at me by my family and close friends. “Leave him!” “Divorce him!” ...it gets old. I know what the fuck I’m doing and I can make my own decisions. Do people not understand what it means to be supportive anymore? Just because I’m in a dark time doesn’t mean it’s open season for loudmouth input on my marriage.

@thestrangequark I don’t know you too well, but I’m sorry to hear about what you went through. I hope you can find some comfort. {{{hugs}}}

 

[May 20]

To both of you, I do hope you find this is a safe space to share. All of us have private struggles, and I think that when we have a safe space to share, we are better for it. Many of us have lost babies, and many of us have struggled in our marriages. I have experienced both. I've said before upthread, women need the companionship of other women, and these tough life experiences are why. We can care for one another, providing support and facts and our own stories to lift one another up. ((((hugs)))).

 

[KimMH]

Am no longer sick- have been back to work for a week. I am still hot all the time which makes me think maybe it’s hot flashes. This is all well and good while it’s still cold outside. But boy howdy is this going to be a long miserable summer. At least I’ll finally be comfortable in the office with my co-worker Coldy McAirconditioner.

 

[May 20]

Yay for no longer being sick! I am looking forward to being able to say the same very soon. We stayed home from church today because I am coughing far too much to sing.

I hated the hot flashes, though mine weren't flashes as much as just being hot all.the.time. It's really icky to wake up in a puddle of sweat. And Hubs runs cold due to hypothyroidism, so there was a stretch where it seems like all we did was fight about the thermostat and ceiling fans. We even slept separately for a little while through the worst of it, which he hated much more than I did. But I've found equilibrium, and we're sleeping together again. You will get through this. Lots of cold beverages and dressing in layers so that you can strip off when you need to.