will caption cross the borderland
- Thread starter pookha
- Start date
"Send the following message to Admiral Forrest, Hoshi...scramble and use Code Two...relay through the beacon we just dropped off near Tau Ceti.
'Captain Archer...Enterprise. Admiral...have cargo of green herbs you requested...Commander Tucker smoked some of it by accident...been climbing bulkheads and wetting self since...ask for many bags of snack chips to be waiting for us when we arrive at Jupiter Station.'
"I suddenly have a hankerin' for some Triplemint Gum..."
Well Einstein, that's because they don't take quarters. They take tokens. No you can't have a refund. Now get out.
(*FARTS LOUDLY*)
"Whew...
good thing nobody was welding bulkheads in here."
"My father designed the engine on this ship, Travis. It can get us anywhere...faster than any other ever designed.
Now if you kindly get us unstuck from Neutral and get Trip in an EV suit outside to kick start the port nacelle we can make that date with the Orion disco ship."
``Yes, yes, of course I'll help, but first would someone please tell me whose manacled arms these are rubbing my chin?''
``Has anybody got something on this genetic retro-virus that's turning us all into Abe Vigoda? Anyone?''
And so, with filming complete, they deflate Brent Spiner and roll him up for storage with the inflatable mattress in the hall closet.
Why no, I don't know anything about a superglue bomb. Why yes, I always hold my hands this way.
I know it's the button on my right console, I just don't feel like pushing it right now.
Man, with only two thumbs free I won't be augmenting any DNA tonight.
"PLEASE...
I'm begging you...I'm praying.
Kill me. Before Brannon puts me in another one of his dumbass, Epic Fail alien-invasion shows."
"Enterprise Captain's Starlog...August 29, 2153...
We're currently traveling at Warp 3.8...on the trail of that Xindi-Arboreal vessel that has free wireless hookup."
"Nun says same as in town?
Meh...I just can't GET that one."
"Please...PLEASE tell me you have a fully stocked minibar on this ship of yours!!"
"...and that's the story, kids, of how Enterprise became the first human ship to make contact with the Poopie people of Epsilon Doodoo IX."
"Brown?!
Brown's not my color. This blows."
"On my new home world, we worship WANG-DONG...the deity of increased penis size! All glory to the Swedish hand pump!"
"This...this isn't the new toilet?
Uh-oh."
"This is the church...this is the steeple...open the force field...here's the humanoids."
"What's all this?
Am I going to be in a Madonna video or something?! I haven't had my innoculation yet!"
"Travis...if you can guess what's hidden in my right hand I'll give you lines next week."
"My right thumb isn't any bigger than my left.
Father O'Malley was lying to me all along."
"Travis...if you can guess what's hidden in my right hand I'll give you lines next week."
WINNER
"Whomever said brown courdoroy was the wave of the future should be shoved out the nearest airlock..."
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