My partner normally uses the threat of pain ,works on me anyways
oh and the old saying "your on your own tonight"
oh and the old saying "your on your own tonight"
Why do women use crying to get their way?
- Thread starter T J
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In answer to the OP: 
In answer to some of the discussion this thread has raised:
I'd hazard the suggestion that, for some women, it has a lot to do with being socialised to be nice. There're a lot of messages out there that say girls aren't meant to be boisterous, or to fight, or to argue. Girls are meant to be the carers, to give in, and be the ones to know when to compromise. That can make it harder for some women to fight their corner. Sometimes compounded by the fact that there are certain kinds of people who will always use a woman standing up for herself as proof that she's shrill, unreasonable, or just a crazy bitch.
And there are others, of course, as the OP so aptly demonstrates, who are perfectly willing to take one woman's behaviour and extrapolate from that to 'all women'.
I'm sure there are also other women who've grown up in an environment where they've learned that playing the weak woman role does get her what she wants, probably provided that what she wants doesn't include a whole heap of respect.
There's also the question of what it is the fight is about. It may be that you'll find it happens a lot when you're discussing something which, to one party, is a purely conceptual or academic issue, but to the other party is much closer to home and part of life. (cf: Why do minority group X get so angry?) I know I'm most at risk of tears of frustration when I'm trying to argue something like, say, the problem with rape jokes with somebody who just. doesn't. get. it.
Anyway, from my own personal experience if I cry in an argument I feel the same as WillsBabe. It's humiliating, and definitely not a deliberate tactic.
In answer to some of the discussion this thread has raised:
I'd hazard the suggestion that, for some women, it has a lot to do with being socialised to be nice. There're a lot of messages out there that say girls aren't meant to be boisterous, or to fight, or to argue. Girls are meant to be the carers, to give in, and be the ones to know when to compromise. That can make it harder for some women to fight their corner. Sometimes compounded by the fact that there are certain kinds of people who will always use a woman standing up for herself as proof that she's shrill, unreasonable, or just a crazy bitch.
And there are others, of course, as the OP so aptly demonstrates, who are perfectly willing to take one woman's behaviour and extrapolate from that to 'all women'.
I'm sure there are also other women who've grown up in an environment where they've learned that playing the weak woman role does get her what she wants, probably provided that what she wants doesn't include a whole heap of respect.
There's also the question of what it is the fight is about. It may be that you'll find it happens a lot when you're discussing something which, to one party, is a purely conceptual or academic issue, but to the other party is much closer to home and part of life. (cf: Why do minority group X get so angry?) I know I'm most at risk of tears of frustration when I'm trying to argue something like, say, the problem with rape jokes with somebody who just. doesn't. get. it.
Anyway, from my own personal experience if I cry in an argument I feel the same as WillsBabe. It's humiliating, and definitely not a deliberate tactic.
First of all, juvenile behavior can be seen in either gender.
The question to you is, what do you mean by "heated"? Is that some kind of euphemism?
If you're making your woman cry all the time, maybe there's more to it than emotional manipulation on her part. A man's got to be in control of his anger energy.
Shut up, bitch, indeed. Maybe you're the one with the real "problem" here.
By heated I mean there was a bit of raised voices, nothing big actually, just a regular thing... I don't make her cry all the time. I love my wife very much and it is never my intention to hurt her in anyway... but she can get over emotional, it's frustrating. I don't think it needs to devolve into crying.
It's not like we haven't made up by now, we have... but still, the waterworks don't help.
Yup. As soon as I saw the title I just heard "Danger Will Robinson!" going off in my head.Oh, this thread's going to go WELL!
Subscribed so as not to miss the comedy value over the next few pages.
Not to sound like a dick (though i will sound like one) but women are on average more emotional and this cry easier.
Some can't help it but some women use it as a tool to get what they want.. there are few men who are not moved by a crying woman and want her to stop so they give in.
It's like a little child.. once it learns that crying gets them what they want they will use it again and again. Funny is though that when you don't fall for it they stop soon.
Some can't help it but some women use it as a tool to get what they want.. there are few men who are not moved by a crying woman and want her to stop so they give in.
It's like a little child.. once it learns that crying gets them what they want they will use it again and again. Funny is though that when you don't fall for it they stop soon.
Oh, this thread's going to go WELL!
Subscribed so as not to miss the comedy value over the next few pages.
I did cry when I noticed that you weren't going to share your Swiss bank account with me. It was only then that I realized that you can't see me.
I never use crying, but I did cry sometimes when I argued with my father. We had quite a lot of arguments since we are so similarly stubborn, but I only cried at those which went nuclear. I hated it, it didn't exactly help the point I was trying to make. Luckily, I am the only one in the family who has ever managed to make him cry, so that evens it out a little.
Im very emotinal, especially when it comes to arguments, even if Im the one who's right! I tend to cry easily. I hate it!
You know what, you are right and I apologize. That was a sweeping statement and it was rude and insensitive of me, for that I'm sorry. When I wrote it I was very annoyed and I worded it poorly.
Aww, now I feel bad for being angry! That's so nice of you to apologize.
Reading your later posts, I can see that you were frustrated. I don't know how things are in your particular relationship, but for many women, crying isn't an intentional act. It may seem that way at times and you might find it annoying or excessive, but that's something to work out with your lady.
My husband knows I can burst into tears over just about anything, and he's gotten better at reading my moods. Chances are if I'm crying, I'm hurt over something, but I will get over it. If it's actually a big deal, it is something we talk about later when I can distance myself a bit emotionally. Everyone works differently. I'm glad you guys sorted things out and I hope this thread has helped you a bit as well!
And let's not forget hormones...PMS, perimenapause and menapause are not excuses, but they do contribute.
If I'm mad, I cry too. It's just not a sad thing (or a movie thing...I'm looking at you The Time Traveler's Wife
)
I don't think many women think "I'll turn on the tears to get my way." I'm sure some do, just like some men try to make women upset.
If I'm mad, I cry too. It's just not a sad thing (or a movie thing...I'm looking at you The Time Traveler's Wife
)I don't think many women think "I'll turn on the tears to get my way." I'm sure some do, just like some men try to make women upset.
Oh, this thread's going to go WELL!
Subscribed so as not to miss the comedy value over the next few pages.
I did cry when I noticed that you weren't going to share your Swiss bank account with me. It was only then that I realized that you can't see me.
I think I heard the wailing, mind you.
I don't like the fact that the OP has subsequently retracted. I have a feeling this may ruin my fun.
But, if it has already devolved into yelling, then why take issue with it devolving into crying?
Not that yelling is necessarily bad, but energetically, the crying is I think related directly to raising voices. One emotional excess pours over into another. Some people are more sensitive to it than others.
Or maybe it is as you say. Using crying as emotional manipulation. But I don't think there's any way to gauge that if it is following a conversation that turned into yelling.
If she "uses crying" to get her way out of the blue, that would seem more manipulative.
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