FNN Exclusive: Is your child a Borg?
Richter: Hello and welcome to FNN. In the aftermath of Frontier Day, we have with us Tom Paris, detailing the horror he endured upon realizing his daughter could be a Borg and a plea from him that all ex-Borg be ostracized from Federation society immediately.
Paris: So, after Frontier Day, Miral mentioned that she was having nightmares with a red room, tentacles, etc. And after hearing that, I knew. I didn't make a mistake marrying B'Elanna because she was part Klingon. I made a mistake staying married to her because she was ex-Borg, due to an insane mission by that nut Janeway back in the Voyager days. After the chaos of Frontier Day, I immediately filed for divorce, disowned Miral from any inherited assets, and feel the need to speak to the people now--Are your loved ones ex-Borg? Sometimes, you can't even tell. Remove yourselves from them immediately!
Richter: And there you have it folks, right from Mr. Paris' mouth. Admiral Janeway, another ex-Borg is currently being removed from Starfleet and is in the process of mandatory sterilization. To quote CNC Admiral Clancy, "We can't run the risk of Janeway having a one night stand and birthing another Borg monstrosity into our galaxy. People might assume that due to her senior age, the chances of her conceiving are unlikely but in the aftermath of Beverly Crusher's conceiving a Borg love child with Picard at an advanced age, you can never be too sure."
Starfleet has also taken immediate action to sterilize Captain Tuvok after his changeling captivity, another ex-Borg, before his next pon farr and the possibilities of any children he may have sired during his pon farrs following Voyager's return to the Alpha quadrant are being reviewed. When asked for comment by FNN before his forced sterilization, Captain Tuvok stated, "I was better off with the changelings".
When asked to comment on whether ex-Borg Annika Hansen should be allowed to retain Federation citizenship following Frontier Day, the AI activist Voyager's Doctor, long known as an admirer of Ms. Hansen, coldly denied any continuing connection to her stating, "I barely know the woman you are asking about, ex-Borg are a stain on any society, AI or organic."
Starfleet has also arrested protesters at the Hugh Memorial and are tearing down the Memorial as we speak, with Admiral Clancy saying, "There should be no memorials for disgusting ex-Borg."
And there you have it. Is anyone you know an ex-Borg? If so, report them immediately to subspace address
section31@starfleet.gov