Where Do You Keep Your Condoms?

[JonathonWally]

Jesus, on the other hand, in Matthew, teaches that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has committed adultery.

That's what I love about Jesus. He had no problem with looking at a man lustfully.




*hears the sound of Bibles flipping open*

Oh, no.

I think maybe someone should reboot the whole Bible franchise. Get some new writers with fresh ideas...

I'd be really interested in JJ Abram's reimagining of Noah's Ark

 

[jamestyler]

I usually have a couple in my coats, one in the wallet, an emergency condom in my case and oddly - a tac vest that, due to gun laws, I used to store condoms, cigarettes lighters, chocolate and other assorted items.

Someone recently pointed out it was odd that I didn't keep any in the bedroom - the most likely place to need one.

 

[RoJoHen]

He's probably be played by a 25-year old.

 

[JonathonWally]

He's probably be played by a 25-year old.

Well, he has to be played as a drunk who masturbates, a lot.

 

[Hermiod]

He's probably be played by a 25-year old.

That's the CW version.

 

[Philo]

If J.J. really wants to respect the fans and try to make this new version fit with established continuity, he would at least try to find someone who resembles Willem Dafoe.

On topic, I don't think I even have any condoms right now. If I did, I'd have no need to carry them with me.

 

[TheSeeker]

I keep mine in a drawer by the bed, but I almost never use them. The only time I use them is when my wife is on any kind of medication that reduces the effectiveness of the pill, and on the odd times that I do use one I am so thankful I don't need to use them very often. Condoms suck!

 

[RJDiogenes]

Jesus, on the other hand, in Matthew, teaches that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has committed adultery.

This is why I expected to end up in the Lustful Level of Dante's Inferno.

As for the condoms, my manservant carries them for me in a leather briefcase.

 

[RoJoHen]

As for the condoms, my manservant carries them for me in a leather briefcase.

Sounds fancy.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Yes, they're from Currier & Ives.

 

[Pingfah]

I have no need to carry them around with me so I don't, but I do have about 4000 of them in various places around the house at the moment. English people can send me £10 + £2.99 P&P for a bag of 100, all flavours and types available

 

[Tiberius Jim]

I keep some in the center console of my truck, because wherever I'm going, I'll be driving there. From there I'll put 'em in my pocket...although one time one almost didn't make it out of the truck. But that's a whole different thread.

 

[Ben Sisko3]

We keep 'em in the bedside table...the one on my side of the bed.

How about using a murse?

Actually, we prefer "man-purse"

It's called "the tote of masculinity". Get it right, folks.

Jesus, on the other hand, in Matthew, teaches that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has committed adultery.

Wow, am I in trouble. I'm one adulterous bastard.

Join the club. I think I have to stop watching...well, every TV show I watch now. Except for Colbert. And South Park.

Jesus, on the other hand, in Matthew, teaches that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has committed adultery.

That's what I love about Jesus. He had no problem with looking at a man lustfully.




*hears the sound of Bibles flipping open*

Oh, no.

I think maybe someone should reboot the whole Bible franchise. Get some new writers with fresh ideas...

I'd dig Brian Michael Bendis' two Bible books, Mighty Testament and New Testament.

ADAM: He loves you, Eve. Very much.
EVE: Uh...he who?
ADAM: God.
NICK FURY: Yeah? Well, my God has a hammer!
ADAM, EVE: Uh...what?
NICK FURY: [backs away slowly, runs]

 

[RoJoHen]

It's called "the tote of masculinity". Get it right, folks.

I call it my burly sack.

 

[Squiggy]

And I've named my sack "Burl Ives".

 

[Locutus of Bored]

I'll never be able to listen to "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas" quite the same way again.

 

[ManOnTheWave]

And I've named my sack "Burl Ives".

Does it sing in a gentle, drunken voice?


And i just leave mine in the bedroom. The condoms. I take the sack wherever I go.

 

[CookieMonster]

I actually have some in my desk drawer at home. They gave them out by the handful at one of the "welcome week" events at college. I didn't take any, but two of my friends did because they thought it was funny. Apparently they also thought it was funny to later give them all to me. I promptly dumped them in a drawer and forgot about them. But they're still there. If my parents ever decide to look in there I'm probably in for an unpleasant conversation or two.

What's so unpleasant about your parents knowing you can be responsible?

BTW: Do check the expiration dates -those things won't keep forever you know!

Like hes ever going to use them.


I am allergic to the latex ones apparently so I need to buy some no latex non lambskin ones. They are expensive and since I am not doing the deed I dont have any.

 

[Locutus of Bored]

I actually have some in my desk drawer at home. They gave them out by the handful at one of the "welcome week" events at college. I didn't take any, but two of my friends did because they thought it was funny. Apparently they also thought it was funny to later give them all to me. I promptly dumped them in a drawer and forgot about them. But they're still there. If my parents ever decide to look in there I'm probably in for an unpleasant conversation or two.

What's so unpleasant about your parents knowing you can be responsible?

BTW: Do check the expiration dates -those things won't keep forever you know!

Like hes ever going to use them.

Ouch.

 

[Plecostomus]

I think maybe someone should reboot the whole Bible franchise. Get some new writers with fresh ideas...

Joseph Smith tried that with the Book Of Mormon, the cries of OMG NOT CANON WTF IS BOYCOTT TIEM drove him and his merry band out of New York and across the country.