What's worse?

[sbk1234]

What would be worse for a married person?

To fall in love with someone who isn't your spouse, but never act on it in a sexual way. Perhaps talks on the phone, Emails, maybe even a meal here or there. Basically, you do nothing you wouldn't do with any platonic friend.

or

To have sex with someone who isn't your spouse, but there is absolutely NO EMOTION involved. It is simply a meaningless act.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Are you asking for a friend

 

[sbk1234]

Just following up for a discussion I was in.

 

[Tora Ziyal]

What would be worse for a married person?

To fall in love with someone who isn't your spouse, but never act on it in a sexual way. Perhaps talks on the phone, Emails, maybe even a meal here or there. Basically, you do nothing you wouldn't do with any platonic friend.

or

To have sex with someone who isn't your spouse, but there is absolutely NO EMOTION involved. It is simply a meaningless act.

There's no such thing as a meaningless act. The meaning may be quite trivial or superficial, but it's still meaning.

 

[sbk1234]

There's no such thing as a meaningless act. The meaning may be quite trivial or superficial, but it's still meaning.

True, but this was just for the sake of argument.

 

[Doom Shepherd]

There is insufficient information with which to form a meaningful conclusion.

For 1. Do you still also love your spouse? Is your spouse aware of your feelings for the other?
For 2. Is your spouse aware of this encounter? Does he/she approve?

Asking for someone who knows life and love can be pretty damned complicated.

Also, "worse for a married person" - which one?

 

[Robert Maxwell]

I would have no interest in the latter, so I guess the former would be the more painful one. But I'm an adult and would get over it.

 

[MacLeod]

Surely it all dpeends on as others have mentioned "Is your partner aware of the activity?" If they are and they are ok with it then you should be ok, if they are aware of it and are not ok with it then you might have a problem. If they are unaware you might get away with it, until the day they find out then you will have a problem.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

It seems like I misunderstood the question and it is actually about which is worse for the spouse being (potentially) cheated on.

I agree with @MacLeod in that it would depend on their awareness and priorities.

But, again, adults should be able to figure this stuff out without being huge assholes to each other.

 

[Bry_Sinclair]

I am well and truly entrenched in the first option, but he's involved with someone else. He knows my feelings and let me down very nicely. They're still there but he is also one of my best friends, so I'd rather have a close friendship that remains out of the bedroom than nothing at all with him--hoping one day I'll find someone else.

Unrequited love is a bitch

 

[sbk1234]

I'm actually surprised people are still responding to this.

 

[Spot's Meow]

Assuming the spouse is not aware/does not approve of either situation, they honestly sound equally as bad to me. Whether your partner has engaged in love-intimacy or sex-intimacy with someone else, either way the intimacy between each other has been betrayed.