What's the worst they could do?

[Shatnertage]

I had an interesting thought this morning. Yes, there's a first time for everything, but that's besides the point. Anyway, while thinking about Trek2013, I thought to myself, "What's the worst that could happen?"

And I was rewarded with a vision of what would be my own personal cinematic Trek hell. If you'll allow me...
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Fade in on the creased features of Ambassador Spock, asleep in his room about a Federation transport. He wakes up.

SPOCK: What a strange dream I had. I was in an alternate timeline created by a Romulan madman traveling back in time. How odd. [Checks a PADD] Yes, fortunately I'm still right here, ten years after the end of the Dominion War, as the Alpha Quadrant undergoes a series of shifting alliances. Fascinating, I know.

[OFFSCREEN] Ambassador, I have a message from Captain Data of the Enterprise.

SPOCK: On screen. [Spock turns to face a small viewscreen in his quarters]

DATA: Ambassador Spock, I have a priority one message straight from Admiral Picard. Eighty years ago, the Tholians cloned Captain James T. Kirk. Now, the Kirk clone has assembled an alliance of Tholians, Breen, and Gorn, and also Morn, and are making war against the Cardassians, Andorians, and Pakleds. Captain Riker and the USS Titan will rendezvous with you at Deep Space Nine, where you'll lead the team to find the evil Kirk clone....

And that's about the worst idea I can imagine for the next movie. Feel free to share your worst, or make this idea even fan-wankier and suckier.

 

[BillJ]

I think Spock Prime should try to cheat death by abducting nuSpock and having their brains swapped. The can go to the planet from Spock's Brain and we can see a modern version of the classic line, "Brain and brain, what is brain?"

 

[number6]

They could run into Earth's moon and discover the crew of Moonbase Alpha, still alive and looking for a new home. The Enterprise agrees to tow it back to Earth, but only when Kirk gets to seduce Maya.

 

[F. King Daniel]

"My name is Captain Braxton and I'm here to repair the timeline."

 

[BillJ]

"My name is Captain Braxton and I'm here to repair the timeline."

Boy, if there's one line that could sink the film franchise... that's the one.

 

[number6]

The worst thing they could do is listen to the fans.

 

[Hythlodeus]

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier

 

[Enterprise is Great]

The worst thing they could do is listen to the fans.

Now that's scary!

 

[number6]

The worst thing they could do is listen to the fans.

Now that's scary!

Think "Of God's And Men" retooled for the big screen, with a cameo of every actor that ever appeared in Star Trek, each holding a tribble, drinking Saurian Brandy, and playing 3D chess while reading a tech manual for a Federation Fighter Shuttle.

 

[Devon]

The worst thing they could do is listen to the fans.

Now that's scary!

Think "Of God's And Men" retooled for the big screen

Or "Roddenberry on Patrol."

 

[number6]

Now that's scary!

Think "Of God's And Men" retooled for the big screen

Or "Roddenberry on Patrol."

They wouldn't need to be mutually exclusive.. Maybe Michael Hinman could write the screenplay.

 

[UFO]

... Captain Riker and the USS Titan will rendezvous with you at Deep Space Nine, where you'll lead the team to find the evil Kirk clone ... .

But it was just starting to get interesting.

 

[sonak]

Introduce an evil bald clone of Kirk that bears only a vague physical resemblance to him and is nothing like him character-wise. Give him a creepy monster sidekick who tries to mind- rape Uhura.

Keenser dies heroically while trying to stop the evil clone from using a superweapon.

that would be pretty bad.

 

[Set Harth]

 

[malchya]

Have the Enterprise built on the ground in Iowa and use a brewery for the engine room set.... Sorry. Flashback.

 

[drazzz52923849]

Introduce an evil bald clone of Kirk that bears only a vague physical resemblance to him and is nothing like him character-wise. Give him a creepy monster sidekick who tries to mind- rape Uhura.

Keenser dies heroically while trying to stop the evil clone from using a superweapon.

that would be pretty bad.

Ha i laughed very hard at this.

 

[Franklin]

What's the worst they could do?

-- Give Captain Kirk a pet dog.

-- Have a bathtub scene with Spock and Uhura.

-- Two words: space hippies. Do we reach?

-- Have a jungle planet. (Too soon?)

 

[Hartzilla2007]

option one

twlight in Trek form

option two (if option one hasn't left you blind)

Some sort of fanwanky reset of the timeline

Option three

Trying to used the TOS sets and ship designs in 2013 like some of the fans with little grasp of reality want.

 

[chardman]

Screen adaptation of any of any fan-fic, particularly fan-fic written by anyone with the initials R.S.

 

[The Castellan]

Have the Enterprise built on the ground in Iowa and use a brewery for the engine room set.... Sorry. Flashback.

Best answer.