What's the worst place to work on the Enterprise?

[B.J.]

How about the guys in charge of blinky light maintenance.
Those things are everywhere. Specially the really big ones outside on the hull.

I dunno, a spacewalk on the hull would be pretty exciting to me. Plus, it's something Worf would rather *not* do!

 

[Chronos]

Waste extraction can't be fun, but it certainly isn't as hazardous to one's health as being a red-clad member of the security team.

 

[T'Arwen]

Or living in the MU and getting your daily radiation dose at engineering.

 

[Captain Rob]

Anyone who spends their day staring down onto a bridge console during the TOS era.
Imagine the stress you'd have knowing that it could blow up in your face.

 

[Drone]

Ah, not limited to the TOS era. See Janeway and Torres in Before and After, amongst many other examples.

 

[IronMaiden]

Be specific, Bath. Which Enterprise? There've been five.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

How about the guys in charge of blinky light maintenance.
Those things are everywhere. Specially the really big ones outside on the hull.

There would have to be a sign on the bulkheads in Engineering:

ACHTUNG! ALLES NONTECHNISCHEN LOOKENPEEPERS!

Das Warpdrive ist nicht für gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Oderwise ist easy to schnappen der Springenwerk, blowenfusen und poppencorken mit Spitzensparken. Ist nicht für gewerken bei Dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken Sightseeren keepen das cotton picken Hånden in das Pockets muss. Relaxen und watchen der Blinkenlichten.

 

[eyeresist]

Those lights are blinking out of sequence!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

^ Get them to blink IN sequence.

 

[eyeresist]

That's why YOU'RE the Captain.

 

[Captain Rob]

How about the guys in charge of blinky light maintenance.
Those things are everywhere. Specially the really big ones outside on the hull.

There would have to be a sign on the bulkheads in Engineering:

ACHTUNG! ALLES NONTECHNISCHEN LOOKENPEEPERS!

Das Warpdrive ist nicht für gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Oderwise ist easy to schnappen der Springenwerk, blowenfusen und poppencorken mit Spitzensparken. Ist nicht für gewerken bei Dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken Sightseeren keepen das cotton picken Hånden in das Pockets muss. Relaxen und watchen der Blinkenlichten.

Cool! It's Gibber-Deutsch!
My Google Chrome spellcheck says virtually every word in that sign is misspelled.

 

[woodstock]

Those two guys who crouch out of sight behind the sliding doors to open them whenever someone wants to go through and close them afterward.

Worse is the guy next to them going "shhhh"

 

[Elder Knight]

Those two guys who crouch out of sight behind the sliding doors to open them whenever someone wants to go through and close them afterward.

Worse is the guy next to them going "shhhh"

Yes, union rules require a "doors supervisor." He's the one you hear.

 

[Kibbin]

How about the guys in charge of blinky light maintenance.
Those things are everywhere. Specially the really big ones outside on the hull.

Lightbulb replacement squad go!
From dragging the giant one out of storage for the outside of the hull to the tiny ones on your console. Step ladders and a steady head is all they need to keep starfleet flying. Well and a friend stood by the light switch so they don't burn their hand or anything when screwing it in.

Though in truth now all I'm thinking of is Kryten.
Rimmer: Take us up to red alert!
Kryten: Are you sure sir, it does mean changing the bulb

 

[Turbo]

Picard once paged "turbolift control". That sounds pretty boring.

 

[Kibbin]

Picard once paged "turbolift control". That sounds pretty boring.

I don't know I mean from what I saw you were expected to have the turbo lift ready to go for any high ranking officer within seconds of pressing the button, unless some plot related discussion was taking place and then you were expected to send the lift on a few floors but have it back in time for the dramatic end of the argument so one could storm off.

Plus I'm fairly certain you could a) tweak the speakers so as to play sound effects like breaking wind in the midst of a large group and b) I bet you see a lot. I mean you must have to watch what happens inside those things. People always seemed to be straightening their uniform when they stepped off, or was that just my imagination.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Worse is the guy next to them going "shhhh"

Like the Voice Activated Doors from Airplane II.

 

[Drone]

Picard once paged "turbolift control". That sounds pretty boring.

I don't know I mean from what I saw you were expected to have the turbo lift ready to go for any high ranking officer within seconds of pressing the button, unless some plot related discussion was taking place and then you were expected to send the lift on a few floors but have it back in time for the dramatic end of the argument so one could storm off.

Plus I'm fairly certain you could a) tweak the speakers so as to play sound effects like breaking wind in the midst of a large group and b) I bet you see a lot. I mean you must have to watch what happens inside those things. People always seemed to be straightening their uniform when they stepped off, or was that just my imagination.

How many times from the various series can people identify when someone got stuck in the turbo lift? I can think of one from my favorite series, but I'd wager there were at least a few more. I'm not sure, but I think I miss there not being a phone in any of them, for emergencies. The design could have been set by the period of the production. Princess for TOS, brick for TNG, etc.