http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/france.html
Is distorted, but pretty funny none the less.
I like the two rules for French military success.
1) France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman(Joan of Arc, Napoleon).
2) France only wins when America does most of the fighting.
All joking aside however I chalk up much of France's dismal military record to a rather horrible strategic geographical position. No one can wage war in western Europe without going through France.
#2 is kind of offensive considering that in WWI 1,3 million french soldiers died (+ a couple hundred thousand civilians), and "only" 120K Americans and in WWII +500K French and "only" 220K Americans. So who did more of the fighting?
And anyway, France's military record is not dismal at all. France managed to become and stay a major power in Europe longer and more consistently than any other country.
eta: damn, the iguana beat me to the punch.
