What is it like getting older?

[ancientone51]

Have not read all the posts, so if I repeat anything it is because I agree with it!

At 63 I will tell you this:
1. Learn to handle money.
2. Keep up your health, exercise and eat right.
3. Love! Even if you lose it, do it. Hubby of 29 years, well worth it. Still miss him, but do not regret.
4. Whatever age you are, beats the heck out of the other option...I'm sure hubby would agree if he could.

 

[rhubarbodendron]

5. Don't let problems scare you. Have a look at them from as many different angles as you can. Then you'll find their weak spot and be able to divide them up into small and managable sub-problems.

6. A sense of humour helps (often more than a fat bank account)

7. Always look at the bright side of life
A stereotype but sound advice. A positive atitude will help you avoid most problems and deal better with the remaining ones. As my great-granny used to say: there's scarcely a catastrophy without a good use.
She was right. The trick is to make the best of a situation. This way you can turn a defeat into a victory.

8. buy a book on housekeeping and a good recipe book and attend DIY classes. You'll be surprised how much money you can save by doing smaller repairs yourself or by cooking good meals from fresh seasonal ingredients. (Or knitting a sweater or warm socks that nobody else in the world has =) )

9. The shittiest life is still a good deal better than the best death.

 

[Emher]

I was so sure I posted in this thread. Dug it up because I have an "feelin' old moment".

Oh well, first off:


28 on on the 24th and while last years has been kinda tough, in a lot of ways I'm feeling the best I've ever felt. At least mentally. When I was 13 I was convinced I wouldn't make it to 20. That I'd be dead by either my tormentors or my own hand.

But I was wrong and I got free of all that bullshit. Worse for wear, true, but alive. I've got a good job, I live pretty well in a decent neighborhood. I share an apartment with my little brother who I could not be more proud of, and he's also the definition of a "real bro". My parents are pretty darn great and my sisters are doing well, the youngest just having had great acclaim with her art exhibit. We have a great little dog that almost always lifts your spirits, and some snuggly cats. I have some great friends, some pretty close ones even.

I have far many more things I want to do in my life, but the only thing I honesty miss right now is a relationship. Emotional, intellectual and sexual intimacy with a woman. it's way harder then it should be, but there it is.



Anyway, the feeling old thing. Everyone knows I'm a car guy, a muscle car guy to be more exact. Next fall I have an opportunity to change the lease for the company car to a Camaro. The car of my dreams. The car I've lusted over for years. But I've come to realize that it's just not going to work. It probably would economics wise. But fact is, I can not have a muscle car as a work car. So I've looked at other cars and come down to the Subaru Outback, which is a station wagon. And I found myself really excited about getting one, about the space and practicality of it, the ground clearance, the efficiency of the boxer diesel engine...and then realized. God damn, I'm getting old!

 

[MacLeod]

At 28 I feel like I've cocked everything up and my life is basically over and the next 30-50 years will be spent meandering toward oblivion achieving little more than acruing regrets.

Easier set than done, but best not to try and focus on the things that didn't go right and/or regretting too much the mistakes.

Sure it's easy to look to back and thing I wish I had/hadn't done that, but the past is the past learn from it and move on.

 

[Kestra]

At 28 I feel like I've cocked everything up and my life is basically over and the next 30-50 years will be spent meandering toward oblivion achieving little more than acruing regrets.

Easier set than done, but best not to try and focus on the things that didn't go right and/or regretting too much the mistakes.

Sure it's easy to look to back and thing I wish I had/hadn't done that, but the past is the past learn from it and move on.

Yeah, I'm closing in on 30 and it's so easy for me to feel like my entire adult life has been one mistake after another. What a waste, right?

But I'm totally fighting that. That's not to say I haven't made mistakes, because I have. Lots of them. But at the same time, I generally like the person that I am right now. And I have so many amazing relationships with so many amazing people. I had long suspected that my friends and family were awesome, but that hypothesis has recently been proven without a doubt.

So yeah, lots of mistakes, but I figure I must have done a couple things right along the way!

 

[rhubarbodendron]

Worse for wear, true, but alive.

in my experience one gains a lot of strength from such an ordeal.

the only thing I honesty miss right now is a relationship. Emotional, intellectual and sexual intimacy with a woman.

That's something that won't change with age, I'm afraid.

I found myself really excited about getting one, about the space and practicality of it, the ground clearance, the efficiency of the boxer diesel engine...and then realized. God damn, I'm getting old!

LOL naaah you're getting mature! And that car will be a far better bait in the GF hunt than the muscle car would have been. Don't know about the ladies in your country, but over here we think that men get muscle cars only to compensate certain other ahem.. shortcomings.

 

[cooleddie74]

Twenty years ago tonight I was in a car wreck with a friend that could have easily killed me (my friend's passenger side seatbelt wasn't working and my head cracked the windshield upon our impact with the oncoming vehicle), so since that evening - just two weeks after turning all of 18 - I've learned to embrace life a little more than I did before then because you just never know when it might theoretically come to an end through accident or illness or somebody else's design.

I was given a bit of a gift that night by walking away from a wreck more or less unscathed and since then try to take less for granted as I've gotten older. Losing quite a few family members to illness or old age in the ensuing years contributes to that attitude as well. My attitude as I approach 40 is the following: this is the only life we might get whether you believe in something greater after this world or not...be sensible and smart, but try to live that life to the fullest and embrace friends, love and opportunities to be with and share your life with others.

 

[teya]

Just gone 54. Some days are cruisy, some days are far tougher than they should be. If there was one piece of wisdom I could impart, it would be:

Whatever you want to do, start it as soon as you can. Getting an education, saving for a house, raising a family, becoming an artist, anything. Start now.

And, I'm reluctant to say it, you have to do two things: find the thing you really want to do, really really want to do, and do it. And if it doesn't support you straight away, make sure you have a second string to your bow that will support you and your family until your passion can become your full time gig. Friend of mine, really good bassplayer, also learned to be a bricklayer. He had to do it for years, but he now lives off his music and has a recording studio. Whereas I left things late, and well...

When you get older, it gets hard. Hard. Do it now, make it easier in the long run.

Great points. I know I've gotten off-track at some points in my life.

At 56, I find I'm rediscovering the things I really loved when I was younger--and that comes down to making things with my hands. I had a great childhood, but the fondest memories are knitting & baking & gardening.

When I was in my 30s, I left the country & moved to the big city & set those things aside. Feminists were telling me that I was a throw-back, wasting my intelligence on such things. So, newly divorced & living in Manhattan, I set out to have a wonderful, exciting career.

But a few years ago, I looked at my life & realized that most of my friends were creative types: musicians, artists, chefs, photographers, actors. I was surrounding myself with people who were doing the things that I'd wanted to do when I was younger. In a lot of ways, I was living vicariously.

One day I was doing a stroll through a shopping area and stumbled across a yarn store. I went in & bought a skein of yarn, went home & knit a scarf. I hadn't picked up needles in 20 years. I'd forgotten how meditative it was. I was hooked.

Then Irene hit last summer & I watched live on Twitter as home was inundated under 8 ft of water. Friends lost their homes and farms. Roads & bridges were washed out. An entire year's work gone. The national media barely noticed.

It was one of those life crises that snaps you to attention. I reconnected with the place I love the most on the planet. I reconnected with people. I made new friends in the area. I remembered the things I love the most and, thanks to technology that wasn't there 20 years ago when I left, I'll be able to have a future there.

So, now I'm on the 5 year plan. My plans are never cast in stone--just a general direction. But in 5 years, I'll be collecting a pension, be able to telecommute from the Catskills to LA, and so I'll be able to buy a few acres, raise bunnies, spin yarn, make jams, and do for myself.

I'm ridiculously healthy for my age (knock wood) and come from a long line of long-lived people.

I hope I'm planting a tree on the day I turn 100.

I wouldn't trade this for my 20s or 30s at all. I don't even regret coming full circle late in life. It's the choices I made then, the good & the bad, that ended me up here.

And here's pretty damn good.

Oh, and I'm now up to my ears in yarn.

 

[Emher]

Worse for wear, true, but alive.

in my experience one gains a lot of strength from such an ordeal.

the only thing I honesty miss right now is a relationship. Emotional, intellectual and sexual intimacy with a woman.

That's something that won't change with age, I'm afraid.

I found myself really excited about getting one, about the space and practicality of it, the ground clearance, the efficiency of the boxer diesel engine...and then realized. God damn, I'm getting old!

LOL naaah you're getting mature! And that car will be a far better bait in the GF hunt than the muscle car would have been. Don't know about the ladies in your country, but over here we think that men get muscle cars only to compensate certain other ahem.. shortcomings.

I did gain a lot of strength. But there have many times where I would just as easily feel I would have happier had I not gone trough it.

And yes, I know age will not change my relationship status...but hopefully me gaining life experience will.

Honestly, the muscle car was never about getting ladies. It's the love of the car, of the engineering and styling. Me and muscle cars goes back to my childhood when my dad used to renovate them. It's one of the things that bond us together. If I have the money when he turns 60 in 2018 I'll get him a '68 Dodge Charger R/T, black with black vinyl roof. His favorite car.

As for the ladies in my country...the freaking Volvo-hicks (i.e. young men that drift around in crappy, broken and loud old Volvos) manage to get women somehow so I think I'll manage in the end. Not that I'd ever be interested in girls interested in those kinds of guys.

 

[bbjeg]

I was thinking of making a thread like this. Might as well bump this one.

I was 29 when I first came to the BBS over a year ago but have a feeling the majority of my time here will be in the 30-39 range. I'm surprised to see so many in my age range being under the impression that most of the traffic was older.

 

[KimMH]

Perfect time of year to zombie a thread that is about living life to the fullest before you shuffle off your mortal coil.

I'm closer to 50 than 40 and I still don't know much. Sometimes things happen that make you start all over and wonder what you want to do when you grow up. I'll let you know when I know.

 

[bbjeg]

Some time ago, I ran into a older gentleman traveling by Greyhound who had to be pushing 70 who told me he didn't know what he wanted to be when he grew up. It put a smile on my face because I was always stressed about the future. Now, I take things as they come without worrying too much about it.

 

[cooleddie74]

I turn 40 next Sunday and most likely won't feel much different as I enter my forties as I did for most of my thirties. I've had several family members pass away in the past decade and other things have happened both in my own personal life and to loved ones that have changed my outlook on certain things and - I feel, anyways - made me a more mature and sober person who takes things a little more seriously than I once did, but for the most part turning 40 is just another milestone (albeit one with some personal and family symbolism since both my dad and paternal grandfather barely made it to the half-century mark and I'm slowly approaching my dad's age at the time he passed away).

Getting old is inescapable and each person handles it their own way. Some never grow up and remain teenagers and frat boys until their livers and lower backs will no longer cooperate while others turn into grouchy old farts ten or twenty years too soon. I'm somewhere right down the middle and if nothing else it's just a new decade of life to explore with my friends, family and loved ones. Besides, I'm liking the gray hair and extra lines. They're kinda cool.

 

[KimMH]

^^

I think your parents would be proud of who you've become, Eddie. You're one of the nicest people on the internet I know - you've usually got a fairly positive outlook and you're very kind.

Speaking of getting older, I hear Stoo just had a birthday. Happy Birthday to Stoo!

 

[cooleddie74]

Thanks. That's very sweet and I appreciate it.

Oh, and Happy Birthday, Stoo!

 

[Miss Chicken]

I am 56 years old and even though I have bad arthritis, I don't feel old. I developed arthritis in my 30s so I don't see it as an old people's disease.

Whenever I get dismayed that I might only two or three decades left (or even less) I think of friends that died much younger and tell myself I should be content that I got so many more years than they did. For example, my friend Susan died when we were eleven, I have already had 45 years more than her so why should I complain.

 

[Mary Ann]

I'm closer to 50 than 40 and I still don't know much. Sometimes things happen that make you start all over and wonder what you want to do when you grow up. I'll let you know when I know.

This. I'm more laid-back than I used to be as with all that life's thrown at me I've learned to toss expectations out the window, be flexible and accept that some things are beyond my control and I simply have to make the best of the situation. This attitude has helped me to cope better.

 

[bbjeg]

Like I always say, with age comes experience.

 

[Melakon]

I don't know how I missed this thread. I'll be 64 in January, and I've been thinking about that song too damn much.

The body is certainly falling apart, and the brain isn't as sharp, though I'm not sure how much of the latter is age related or from a stroke over 10 years ago.

But the constant surprise is how I don't think of myself as old mentally, and how much the personality has seemed consistent. So far, at least.

 

[Captain Kathryn]

I'm 32 years old. I remember what it felt like to be 25, 18, 16, 13, and so on. When I was in my teens and early 20's, I had energy, drive, stamina, and the willingness to work very hard to attain a goal. My 30's feel different. I feel 'older'. I feel more run down. I feel exhausted, to be honest, like I'm burned out. Granted, I do have chronic health problems and that adds to the general 'feel' of being older, but at the same time, I know getting older doesn't have to be a negative thing.

People twice my age, and older, are living full lives. Yet somewhere in my head, there's this idea that once I get older, life won't be as pleasant, or as sweet, but I don't believe that (or I should say, I choose not to believe that).

So talk to me about your experiences. If you're older than me, and wish to share what it feels like, please do. If you're younger than me, feel free to share how you feel. There is no ageism here. Every age is valid, and everyone is free to participate.

I have a poll above just to get an idea of the board's demographic.

Even though I dislike the more run down feeling (I'm 28) that I have now as opposed to when I was in my late teens and early 20s, I like that I know more than I did then. I feel wiser and have less tolerance for bullshit than I did then. I enjoy no longer being a naive little girl. I do wish that I had this same knowledge at 21 or 22 and could have made different choices then. But I know what I want now (took long enough) so trying to attain it with a clearer head.

I don't dislike getting older as long as I age gracefully and don't encounter too many health problems.