What if? Would you turn your old child in?

[Yeoman Randi]

Here's another "What IF?" question that may have already been done here. But the news of Van Der Sloot's arrest for another young woman's murder has me thinking that if his parents had not protected him the way they did (along with his friends lying AND if the justice system had been different in Aruba) this young woman might still be alive today.

So, regardless of the facts of those cases, i ask you this:

If your son or daughter came home and confessed to you that they were driving in their car, accidently hit and killed someone on a dark road, would you turn your child in?

And:

If your son or daughter just out and out murdered someone would you turn your child in?

I've brought my kids up knowing that there are consequences to their actions and that i would never waver from that line of thinking. Ever.

What would you do?


ETC: Well crap. The title is supposed to say, Would you turn your OWN child in? If a mod can fix that i'd greatly appreciate it.

 

[B.J.]

I'd certainly try to get them to turn themselves in. But if I would turn them in? I don't think that's something I can answer unless I'm actually faced with the situation (which is hopefully never!).

 

[Jetfire]

No.

I would get them to turn themselves in. I would not harbor them...but I would give them time to figure out weather they want to run or turn themselves in.

Maybe that doesn't make sense...but protecting them and guiding them to do the right things is very important to me. I would think if I done my job as a parent right they wouldn't commit crimes and if they did they would man-up and face what they've done.

I don't have a link but a while back a father killed his own son because he raped an underage girl.

[edit] http://abcnews.go.com/WN/father-kills-son-molesting-sister/story?id=9127703

Ok he(15 yo boy) molested his 3 yo half-sister and that is why his father killed him.

 

[Mary Ann]

I reckon I would, for fear that they would harm someone else while still on the run. Of course if, the gods forbid, I'm ever faced with this situation I may act in a completely different manner. Like you, Randi, I hope I'm bringing my kids up to be moral, responsible people, and they've not mugged anyone yet, so hopefully I'll never have to deal with anything like this.

 

[auntiehill]

Well, I don't have kids, but if I did, and one out and out CONFESSED, I would urge them to turn themselves in. If they didn't, then I would.

I think the problem is that someone who would commit murder, especially more than once, is not that likely to confess. I think it would be very difficult for anyone to believe that a loved one could do such a thing, and therefore, they defend that person with all their might.

I'm sure Van Der Sloot's father truly believed his son to be innocent; he probably went to his grave thinking that his son was unjustly persecuted. It's probably a good thing the man passed away before this second victim turned up.

I love my nephew with all my heart. Even when he's being a typical, snotty pre-teen, I still defend him and make excuses, because I know he's a good kid. But if he came to me, say 6 or 7 years from now, and told me he killed someone, I'd turn him in.
I'd cry while doing it, but I'd still turn him in.

 

[Miss Chicken]

Yes, I would.

I turned my eldest son in when he was about 12. He had vandalised a place and then accused three other boys of doing it. He gave a statement to the police blaming the boys and they were picked up and taken to the police station and questioned. However I found out from another source that my son was the guilty one. I phoned the police to let them know that the other boys were innocent and that my son was the guilty one. I wanted my son charged but the owner didn't have him charged because of the way I had handled the situation. My son was teased at school by the boys he had blamed and by other children. He wanted me to change his school but I refused to. I felt he had to learn the consequences of blaming innocents.

He obviously never learnt his lesson. Today he still blames every else for his problems and the trouble he gets into.

If I knew he hurt someone I would turn him in. Especially if he killed someone.

 

[Rek]

I've got no kids. lol I wont ever have any but if I did I would turn them in for sure. No doubt there. Do the crime, do the time. Doesn't matter what it is. Just my own opinion. Family may be important but their not above the law.

 

[Adm_Hawthorne]

Yes, I'd turn them in.

Regardless of the why, they have killed someone, and they need to face those consequences. By not going directly to the police but coming to me instead, that tells me all I need to know.

There's should be a 'what should I do here, Mom' moment.

 

[Nerys Ghemor]

I don't have kids, but if it were an accident, I would first encourage them to turn themselves in. If not, I would turn them in.

If it were no accident--there'd be no chance, blood relationship or none...I would turn them in.

 

[StarryEyed]

Absolutely.

The comment about Aruba's legal system is baseless though. They could not tie him to the murder. What would you have them do, prosecute someone who they could not prove committed a crime?

 

[Miss Chicken]

Have they ever proved she was actually murdered? Isn't she still just listed as missing?

 

[Nerys Ghemor]

Absolutely.

The comment about Aruba's legal system is baseless though. They could not tie him to the murder. What would you have them do, prosecute someone who they could not prove committed a crime?

They botched the investigation, and severely--they contaminated the evidence and then wondered why the tie couldn't be made.

 

[trampledamage]

I think the problem is that someone who would commit murder, especially more than once, is not that likely to confess. I think it would be very difficult for anyone to believe that a loved one could do such a thing, and therefore, they defend that person with all their might.

This is the more difficult question by far.

If your child has confessed to you, then they are likely to be willing to go to the police too.

But what if other people think your child has murdered, could you take other people's word over your child's protestations of innocence?

For that one, I haven't a clue. I just don't know.

 

[Kestra]

This seems like the kind of thing that's just impossible to know. I don't have kids and I can't predict what my response would be, though I'd obviously try to do what I thought was right.

 

[MeanJoePhaser]

Depends on the circumstances, how much money and power I had and if I even liked my kid.

Maybe I'd hire a group of criminals, ex-cons...to intimidate the witnesses....and if they fail. BUCKWHEATS!

Though, if my son became half-alien and raped women, and those women died giving birth to mutant offspring that endanger the human race. I suppose, I'd turn him in.

 

[RandyS]

I don't have kids.

But you Randi......are you trying to tell us something??

 

[Nerys Ghemor]

But what if other people think your child has murdered, could you take other people's word over your child's protestations of innocence?

Ugh...that's something that always makes me SICK, hearing the family of murderers, even when the evidence for the conviction was so overwhelming there could be nothing else, blindly singing their relatives' praises. If a family member of mine did something like that, they'd have to prove themselves like anybody else.

 

[trampledamage]

But what if other people think your child has murdered, could you take other people's word over your child's protestations of innocence?

Ugh...that's something that always makes me SICK, hearing the family of murderers, even when the evidence for the conviction was so overwhelming there could be nothing else, blindly singing their relatives' praises. If a family member of mine did something like that, they'd have to prove themselves like anybody else.

If it's got to the stage of overwhelming evidence, then that's different. That's at a similar stage as having your child confess - the information it out there.

But earlier in the case, when people are starting to say "that trampledamage kid, he was seen hanging around with the girl that was killed" - what do you do then?

 

[Jetfire]

What it comes down to is you as a parent have the duty to protect your child and it is also your duty to teach them to one day protect them self.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

What it comes down to is you as a parent have the duty to protect your child

You also have a duty to society at large, to help bring criminals to justice.

I do sympathize with parents...I don't know what it's like to even have a kid at all, never mind one who is a killer or something. But if you know your kid has committed a crime, and you hide them or don't report them, then you have also become a criminal. It's called harboring a fugitive.

Indeed, it can be argued that you have a duty *to your kid* to turn them in. How are you supposed to set an example if you don't? Teach them to own up to their crimes, to admit their mistakes - pay their debt to society.