What do you hope to gain by complaining?

[doubleohfive]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/russell-bishop/are-you-complaining-your_b_498442.htmlLot of people around here seem to complain a lot. I came across this article this morning and thought I'd share.

So what do you think? Are we just a generation of complainers? Or is there something at the root of it all stopping us from making the leap from 'complainer' to 'actualizer?

Complaining is a great way for me to not only pretend that I deserve better, but that I would be better off for it, and that things would work out just the way I imagined in my mind. Pretty much the perfect no-risk scenario - I get to keep telling myself, and anyone who will listen, just how much better things would be if they let me run things.

Obviously, this kind of discussion warrants a rather large dose of self-aware honesty from each of us, but do you find that you want something but yet also feel like you deserve it?

 

[scottydog]

Complaining is a normal human thing to do, and it helps to vent. But if we're always focused on the negative, we miss out on all the many things there are to be grateful for.

 

[Gryffindorian]

Agreed. And if we're talking about our culture in general, there are a couple of books that tackle such issues as being distracted and narcissistic.

EDIT: Here's another book that's more focused on narcissism and the young generation.

 

[jamestyler]

Things would be better if I run them. I just like to make sure people know that.

 

[Caleuche]

Interesting article, but I'd disagree with it slightly. I'd argue that a complainer was someone who wanted something but felt they didn't deserve it and the complaining was came from the anger of not feeling good enough and being stuck where they were being transferred on to the world around them.

It also ignores that complaining can one very important outcome. It is one of the more common forms of social bonding. Nothing brings people together quicker than a shared enemy such as the boss. More relationships have complaining as an essential part of their glue than are given credit for.

 

[tafkats]

Complaining can be productive -- as long as it's taken to the next step.

I've worked with people who take such delight in being miserable that they'd much rather complain about a situation than do anything about it. If the supply cabinet is out of notebooks, they'd rather declare that it's because Corporate is too cheap to buy new ones than go to the person who orders supplies. (In reality, there's never a problem getting new notebooks -- but the person who orders them can't know we're running low unless somebody tells her.)

But complaining can be useful in that it expresses a problem -- as long as it's directed in a way that can help solve the problem. Are you complaining because you enjoy feeding into a cycle of unhappiness? Or are you complaining to a person who has the ability to do something about a problem, and then expressing your willingness to be part of solving the problem yourself?

 

[Colonel Green]

The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

 

[T'Baio]

The false assumption is that we're complaining about it and not actualizing in real life. I tend to complain a lot sometimes, but I also do something about it.

However, within this whole realm, I find a lot of younger people (my God, have I gotten to that age?) really feel like they're entitled to everything.

At school, kids all the time are complaining about their marks and blaming the profs. They actually have their parents come to the school and get angry at the profs! They want to get shit faced every night, but get A's at the same time. None of them want to WORK for their grades. They make me want to puke.

Now the question is, what am I gonna' do about it?

 

[tafkats]

The false assumption is that we're complaining about it and not actualizing in real life. I tend to complain a lot sometimes, but I also do something about it.

However, within this whole realm, I find a lot of younger people (my God, have I gotten to that age?) really feel like they're entitled to everything.

At school, kids all the time are complaining about their marks and blaming the profs. They actually have their parents come to the school and get angry at the profs! They want to get shit faced every night, but get A's at the same time. None of them want to WORK for their grades. They make me want to puke.

Now the question is, what am I gonna' do about it?

Flunk the little bastards?

 

[T'Baio]

I don't have that power...but that is exactly what the prof's do!

 

[Stone_Cold_Sisko]

I feel better after complaining about something that annoys me. Like i've let it out.

It's kind of fun.

Besides in real life nobody wants to be around someone who's complaining all the time, so better to do it here amongst people who know wtf you're talking about when you're complaining about the models of Cylons on BSG or whatever.

 

[Bears Discover Fire]

Sometimes complaining *is* the way to do proactively address a situation, a possibility the author of the linked article fails to consider.

There's a world of difference between mere venting about a situation beyond one's control, a baseless whine that's easier to fire off than accept potential responsibility for changing a situation, and a well-founded and articulated complaint aimed at the proper channels as a means for actuating change.

A lot of positive change has come to this world from people who recognized that, when the situation calls for it, one must be loud and insistent in their greviances to be listened to.

 

[sidious618]

Well my therapist gets an hourly rate from me complaining so she gains something.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

I admit I complain a lot. I don't really know why I do it. Probably more an emotional release than anything else. It just feels good to let out the stress. I know I shouldn't feel that way, because it accomplishes nothing, but there we are.

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gfzLyPqko8w[/yt]

 

[the 4th hanson bro]

In most cases complaining is easy. Actually doing something about it takes time, effort, and energy.

I think there's two different types of complaining: the general well poisoner, shit magnet for whom nothing good ever happens and anyone within earshot gets treated to today's litany of how fucked up the world in general and their life in particular is; and the person who knows how and when to complain, and to where the complaints should be directed.

It's always easier to tear something down than be a part of fixing it or building it up.

 

[RandyS]

When there are no simple answers (like in, you know, life), complaining serves as a way to release tension, which in turn, lowers the blood pressure.

 

[scottydog]

When there are no simple answers (like in, you know, life), complaining serves as a way to release tension, which in turn, lowers the blood pressure.

But it's a known psychological fact that people who harbor positive attitudes & optimistic worldviews are significantly happier and healthier than are people who are negative & pessimistic.

I do agree with you, however, that it does no good to bottle up one's feelings.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

Complaining is certainly one way to relieve stress. However, if you constantly look for things to complain about, you aren't going to be very happy. It's also not worthwhile to complain or stress about things you have no control over. Focus on the things you can change, and do something about them.

As for being a 'generation of complainers," come on! Old people complain more than anyone.

 

[Kira's Mom]

Well, you know what they say about complainers...the squeaky wheel gets the grease.

Complaining is just a form of venting- get what's bugging you out there, maybe find a way to fix it.

Holy cow, a tafkats sighting!

 

[Kestra]

Bitching requires a low amount of energy and I usually don't hope to gain much simply by complaining. Well, sometimes I just want someone to sympathize me. But if I'm actually looking to accomplish something, I'll do something besides complaining. That just takes more energy.