As a kid the same age as Wesley, and of course a genius in my own right, I had some identification with the character. And I think that was the intent. I applaud GR for including a character going through adolescent transition into adulthood, and for his vision of TNG as NOT being Star Wars with bigger ships!
How one feels about Wesley probably falls along a couple of axis
1. If you dislike GR's humanism, and especially dislike his peaceful exploration vision that had children on the ship, you're much more likely to dislike Wesley.
2. If you were at, or slightly older, than Wil Wheaton in 1987, the character reminded you of a lot of awkwardness. Teenagers work very hard to be cool and distance themselves from their awkward years, so for many, the Wesley-hate must have been related to that. die.wesleycrusher.die.die.die was probably started by someone Wheaton's age, not an older TOS fan that hated TNG.
I no longer find Wesley as annoying as he seemed then. Certain criticisms remain - they should have allowed Wesley to be wrong from time to time - have Geordi or whomever correct him. There was never the lesson of "a little knowledge is a dangerous thing", the lesson of perspective of years that no young person, no matter how talented, can easily see.
Allow Wesley to use the helm does not bother me. I believe there is some old-school tradition there. My father made it a point to let me drive vehicles whenever possible, always showing great confidence in me. No, I didn't drive on the road illegally, but he let me drive a scrapper car at an airfield, and he gave me the helm of the family boat almost exclusively. I also took flight lessons in gliders at the same age as Wesley, and indeed, you can't learn if they don't let you fly the thing.
By the time I got a driver's license, I had considerable piloting experience of both planes and boats.
* also, it's not hard to imagine the Enterprise having some failsafe subroutine, training wheels as it were, when Wesley first flew it. We can also surmise that Wesley only flew the Enterprise a few hours/week, given his course load.