We are pregnant!
- Thread starter Miss Chicken
- Start date
That may be very well how it comes off, which may be a good reason for people to stop saying it (it also sounds stupid, which is another good reason). However, I don't think those who use the phrase are intending it that way at all. To me, those who want to claim ownership would just say "I'm having a baby." That statement removes the wife entirely from the process and removes the "icky" part of pregnancy men are generally not a fan of.
To me, those who say "we are pregnant" are the cutesey "do everything together" couples. The man who says that is just trying to say that he's part of the same team and supporting her the whole way. I think it shows a significant lack of situational awareness because it implies he can ever understand or feel what she's feeling, but I don't think what he's doing is trying to claim ownership over it so much as show support. Like I said, the fact that it comes off in the way you said is probably enough to stop doing it, but I think they do intend it in a much more benign way.
"My cisgender female fluid-bonded current partner has given enthusiastic consent to the act of procreation via the act of unprotected sexual intercourse. As such she is currently gestating the aforementioned act's resulting consequence within her personal interior body space."
I am just being silly. Friends? 
I know someone who was quite happy to be a father until the birth, then called the mother a slag and said it wasn't his, despite the fact he looked the spitting image, and the DNA test said so. "She sleeps around, we all know that." "Could be anyone's"
And there are white people who are totally comfortable throwing the N-word around, even if they're not remotely racist. I know a few, unfortunately, and I cringe every time I hear it. Usually they use it to describe their ex-boyfriends, who all happen to be white.
Language is weird, and depending on your life experience, some words and phrases will either offend you or they won't. It never even occurred to me until reading this thread that "We're pregnant" could possibly have any negative connotations. My life experience hasn't colored pregnancy in that way; it's always been something that happy couples do together.
The trouble is that language and attitudes reflect and shape each other. Using language that subliminally reinforces a bad attitude, even when you don't have that attitude yourself, is supporting those who do feel that way.
It's why one should refrain from carelessly using language the denigrates anyone - language that is racist, sexist, whatever.
It might be meant to be cutesy. But reinforcing those who feel that sense of ownership is to be avoided.
It's why one should refrain from carelessly using language the denigrates anyone - language that is racist, sexist, whatever.
It might be meant to be cutesy. But reinforcing those who feel that sense of ownership is to be avoided.
It is odd how something that is supposed so beautiful can become so ugly. Much like everything else.
I was just saying to Kathy, when I was younger we went to the "paki shop" and got takeaway from "the chinky", perfectly benign, not a spot of racism intended. Wasn't until it was made an issue we realised that it was something we shouldn't say. I guess when it comes down to it you have the choice of either ignoring it and continuing like it never happened or you try to adjust and realise that it can be an issue for people.
But if you don't have that attitude yourself, and you don't know that people do, how would you know not to use that language?
The phrase "We're pregnant" might make me wanna barf, but that's because cutesy "do everything together" couples are nauseating. Until I walked into this thread, it never would have crossed my mind that women would take offense to it.
If a man in a partnership is saying "We're pregnant," I'd be his partner is saying the exact same thing...because they're a gross cute couple who might as well be the same person.
Frankly, the way language is evolving and changing, I'll just be happy if they remember that "we're" has an apostrophe.
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You wouldn't, until someone who had experienced pregnancy explained how it made them feel to hear that. And then it would be up to you to adapt to that new information from an experienced source or to defensively reject it and take it as an attack on men. No one is criticizing prior non-malicious comments made out of inexperience or ignorance. They're simply asking you to listen to their experienced perspective and consider their point of view.
What about 'em? I'm way out West, different from the south.
Well, you can stop and think about what you're saying, and how it might sound. ("we're pregnant" sounds stupid, to start with.)
And if someone points it out to you , you can say "I'm sorry, I'd never though of it that way" and not say it again.
Or you can be a numpty and make an issue of it, accuse people of politicising, laugh at them, be patronising and condescending and never learn anything because you're sure you already know it all.
And if someone points it out to you , you can say "I'm sorry, I'd never though of it that way" and not say it again.
Or you can be a numpty and make an issue of it, accuse people of politicising, laugh at them, be patronising and condescending and never learn anything because you're sure you already know it all.
Wouldn't boil down to a couple by couple basis? After all not every woman is going to be offended by it--maybe not even a majority. If you're partner is cool with it, then does that mean you've gotta check with every woman to make sure she's cool with it too? Or does that make your partner "wrong" by saying either "Don't care" or thinking it's cute.
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And this is exactly my point. It's all about context.
Plenty of women use the phrase "We're pregnant" as well. In my personal experience, more woman have used that phrase than men. So who am I supposed to be listening to?
