We are pregnant!

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

It's amazing how society takes its little twists and turns. When I was a kid, during the days when society was making an effort to pull the stick out of its ass, one of the big trends was for men to become involved in the woman's pregnancy-- going to classes, being present at delivery, perhaps even taking a hand in delivering the baby. This was a shocking thing. Old-school conservatives would deride such men as weak, silly, and unmanly. And now here we are, fifty years later, in the 21st century, and new-school progressives deride men who do the opposite of what Miss Chicken's ex-husband did as precious, twee, and pantsless.
another from those who don't like it.

Okay, I'm confused. Exactly what decade does this remind you of every morning, then?

Also, "Precious, Twee and Pantsless" would make a great title for an autobiography.

OH PLEASE

Here, have a shiny medal. It's the size of a watermelon, make sure you shove it up your ass for nine months and then push it out so we can take you seriously. Don't forget to vomit regularly.

Marry me, teacake?

Only if you will carry our spawn.

 

[Thestral]

So, when my wife and I decide to have another child and succeed in conceiving we would say something like "We're expecting another child. Gina is pregnant!"

I mean that's fine, and I don't think anybody's saying "OMG you have to say 'We're pregnant!'" I certainly wouldn't use it myself because I think it sounds insufferably... well, twee, and internally roll my eyes when I hear it.

But as was mentioned there's plenty of things couples-in-which-the-woman-is-pregnant do that are obnoxious. They're excited, they're happy, and they want to share so why harsh their melon if it makes her happy? It's language evolving - in a direction I find silly, but I find many things silly.

 

[Kestra]

The whole thread took a ridiculous turn with the man-hating bit.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

How could anyone hate their bits? Their bits are lovely.

 

[Amaris]

I love my bits.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

I'm sure they are very nice.

 

[Amaris]

Indeed they are. Thank you for noticing.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

I have all the jpegs in a special folder

 

[Amaris]

Aw, you even marked it "System Files."

 

[RevdKathy]

I think the thread took a better turn when people started asking the 'why' behind this turn of phrase being a problem.

We've had a couple of millennia of misogyny (at best) and women being controlled due to the fact of this one thing that women can do that men can't. Men cannot control the conception and birth process. Heck, until fairly recently men had no way of guaranteeing that their wife's offspring was even theirs. And that lack of control over birth has driven male-dominated cultures to control women's freedom of movement, style of dress, access to education, right to participate in civil society.... the whole shebang.

So when I hear 'we are pregnant' I hear a bloke who doesn't want to admit that there's this one amazing ability his wife has that he doesn't. And when unread a thread full of (mostly) blokes saying 'meh, no big deal' I hear a bunch of people who still deep down don't get that male control of women starts right here, in utero, when they claim co-ownership.

My response to hearing that is to wonder how secure he really feels that the kid is his.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

It has not escaped my attention that the only full on detractors of the phrase in this thread are also the only people in the thread who have personally given birth.

 

[Miss Chicken]

An example of how men used to control women's wombs is the talk I had with my doctor when I wanted tubal ligation back in 1982. This was during my checkup 6 weeks after giving birth.

The doctor (who has been my doctor right through my last pregnancy) was quite keen that I have it because I had had three difficult pregnancies and births, and last birth was life threatening and the doctor said he had doubts about me surviving another birth. He told me there were two problems a) I was under 30 (I was only 24) and b) I wasn't certain if my husband would give permission. My doctor said the lack of spousal permission would probably be a bigger problem than my age but he would apply to be allowed to do it without spousal permission.

There was about a 6-8 month waiting list for tubal ligation in the public hospital but my doctor jumped me up the list and 6 weeks later I was in hospital to have the operation done.

The doctor who was performing the surgery came around to question me. I asked me if my husband was OK with it as they didn't have his signature on the form. I said I had been over all that with my doctor. This doctor that asked me if my husband was the father of all my children. This really annoyed me and I answered "You are only asking me that because I am from a lower socio-economic group". He then said he would have to talk to my doctor. About an hour later he came back and told me that he had Oked the operation.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

That is the biggest load of crap Miss Chicken!!! Husband's permission?!?!!!!!! WHAT FUCKTARDS

I bet when vasectomies suddenly became all the rage they didn't ask the wife's permission.

 

[Miss Chicken]

I am not certain when the law changed in Australia and I am not even 100% certain if it was a law or just hospital policy that required women to have their husband's permission.

I don't know what the policy was on vasectomies. Back then it was far more common for the woman to have tubal ligation than for men to have vasectomies.

 

[Bob The Skutter]

I couldn't help noticing it's mostly blokes saying it's fine. It's a silly thing that men feel to be inclusive they have to take ownership by calling it theirs(ours). Your partner is pregnant, you are not. You (we) maybe be expecting a child but that's not the same thing. Seems to me men can be included, supportive, involved without claiming ownership of pregnancy.

And no, it's not the same thing, having hardship throughout the pregnancy, worrying about your partner and child as being pregnant and having your internal organs squashed, lungs compressed, sickness, swollen ankles, plus the stress of all these things happening while it's supposed to be one of the happiest times of your life and you have to worry you haven't felt the baby move in a while, should I be doing this or that while pregnant . Etc etc . but oh, you had to be supportive, you had to be nice to your wife, you fucking hero you.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Jesus christ I am in love with you two. I want to have your (plural) babies.

BUT it is only ME pregnant ME ME ME.

You can both bring me tea. Thank you.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Just imagine if you have cancer and you're in pain every single fucking day. Also puking from the chemo. Also exhausted. Also struggling to get the most basic things done. But me, who you know has to take days off work and watch you suffer through all this says.. "we have cancer". This is just bullshit. Sure it's hard to watch someone in pain and suffering. It takes time and emotional energy to be supportive whether it's cancer or a shitty pregnancy but you DO NOT HAVE IT.

Wow. That is the most tragically bitter thing I've ever read on this board. I hope you manage to snap out of it someday.

I think there is a huge middle ground between a man being an arsehole and being twee.

I suppose. I'm not sure what you mean. But the point is is that if your husband was the kind of guy who said things like "we're pregnant," you would have had a much better marriage.

Okay, I'm confused. Exactly what decade does this remind you of every morning, then?

Yes, you are confused. But pick any backward, unenlightened decade when the sexes were segregated and the male's only contribution to pregnancy and childbirth was to impregnate the female. There are plenty to choose from.

So, when my wife and I decide to have another child and succeed in conceiving we would say something like "We're expecting another child. Gina is pregnant!"

Sure. You could even carry the pedantry a couple of steps further by saying, "We're expecting another child. Gina is pregnant. I merely injected the sperm. The developing fetus's older sibling here did absolutely nothing, but will be available for babysitting one day." I jest, of course. You're free to imbue whatever meaning into the benign euphemism that you like. But my point is that the benign euphemism would not exist if it were not for the world's cultural baggage of tight-assed religion.

I think the thread took a better turn when people started asking the 'why' behind this turn of phrase being a problem.

We've had a couple of millennia of misogyny (at best) and women being controlled due to the fact of this one thing that women can do that men can't. Men cannot control the conception and birth process. Heck, until fairly recently men had no way of guaranteeing that their wife's offspring was even theirs. And that lack of control over birth has driven male-dominated cultures to control women's freedom of movement, style of dress, access to education, right to participate in civil society.... the whole shebang.

So when I hear 'we are pregnant' I hear a bloke who doesn't want to admit that there's this one amazing ability his wife has that he doesn't. And when unread a thread full of (mostly) blokes saying 'meh, no big deal' I hear a bunch of people who still deep down don't get that male control of women starts right here, in utero, when they claim co-ownership.

My response to hearing that is to wonder how secure he really feels that the kid is his.

And somehow you have managed to politicize a statement of family bonding into the exact opposite of what it actually means.

 

[Bob The Skutter]

I hope by you two you mean me and Kathy,would be highly inappropriate otherwise. :P

 

[Deckerd]

Mila Kunis has freaky eyes.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

I hope by you two you mean me and Kathy,would be highly inappropriate otherwise. :P

Yes. You (plural) are adorable and hot. Like TOGETHER, not with me, don't worry I am never inappropriate just given to possibly inappropriate compliments